


I Want To Break Free

by blue_claw7



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: A lot of things are revealed, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Will, Episode: s05e03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon, Explicit Language, Gen, Hopeful Ending, If you are confused how all of this is going to happen so am I, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Pre-Canon, Pre-Purge, Queen Ygraine here, References to A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens, Will Appreciation Fest 2020 (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 47,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_claw7/pseuds/blue_claw7
Summary: “I'm just a simple farm boy... with a magical friend... I didn't ask for the genocidal ghost kings… and fixing the first draft of destiny."When Arthur uses the Horn of Cathbhadh to summon Uther's spirit, Will is determined to use this opportunity to change the course of destiny. But he gets more than he has bargained for: a murderous ghost king trying to kill everyone -including other ghosts, yes, intelligence is not a Pendragon trait-, a broken and paranoid friend to fix, an arrogant king to stop from making a grave mistake and two crime partners in the midst of all.
Relationships: Arthur Pendragon & Will (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Will (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 58





	1. Prologue

“…the audacity-”

“Will.”

“-the hypocrisy!”

“Will.”

“…that arrogant, ignorant _hypocrite_ -”

“William.” Freya pursed her lips. One would expect the most exasperating part of being the Guardian of Avalon would be keeping the balance in check and the Sidhe out of her realm. But no, it was listening to Will’s endless grumblings about Arthur Pendragon. 

“Look,” Will bolted up on perfectly soft grass, puffing his chest with a ridiculous manner. “I’m o’ mighty Arthur Pendragon, Idiot of Camelot. I’m the best and know everything because I can make my sword swish swosh. I hate magic and think it is so very evil but oh-” 

She had made a very, _very_ big mistake transporting the monitor to the Land of the Living from her hof.

“-what’s that? A very magical artefact that I have no idea how to use but could summon the spirit of my dead genocidal father? Sure, let’s go, because I’m Arthur bloody Pendragon!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Anyone using magic except me, how dare you, off with his head! Oh, I beg your pardon,” Will gasped and put an overly dramatic hand on his chest, “what do you mean I’m a hypocrite if I use magic on my own expense and condemn innocent people who do the same? Didn’t you hear me, I’m _Arthur fucking Pendragon_ -”

“Will that’s enough,” Freya cut in, though he did have a point at there somewhere.

“Enough? I haven’t even _begun_. Seriously, this is the Once and Future King?” Will gestured to the semi-translucent screen hanging on mid-air, showing Merlin and Arthur riding to the Great Stones of Nemeton. The giant image was hanging like a bluish mist on the air, in contrast to the seemingly endless field with uncountable apple trees becoming one with the horizon. “This is the man you put all your hopes in for the legendary Golden Age? Are we _sure_ this is our guy? Maybe someone mixed the babies at birth and real the King is ploughing fields somewhere.”

“C’mon,” Freya said exasperated, “You know he is a good king. You admitted he is a good king.”

“It doesn’t count if he accidentally makes something right,” Will huffed, “That joke of a peace treaty he only made to clear his conscience about that druid boy; is that your Golden Age, where you won’t be slaughtered where you stood, rather only shunned and cast aside? Not seeing the problem and sweeping it under the rug doesn’t fix it.” 

Freya opened and closed her mouth. “…he still has a long way to become the King he’s destined to be.”

“A long way, no shit!” Will snorted but sobered up immediately, concern tinkling in his eyes. “But he doesn’t have a long time. A few months and then he’ll kick the bucket, leaving Merlin broken and everything he has sacrificed in vain.”

“I can’t.” Freya cried in despair for the thousandth time they were talking about destiny. Her hand automatically went to her necklace shining like a small star on her chest. “I’m bound to the Goddess and this lake, I can’t warn Merlin even if I want to. I can’t even tell _you_ somethings, we are lucky She allows me to show you the Land of the Living and tell about the prophecy.”

“I know, I know.” Will sighed slumping on to the ground. “What is wrong with the Goddess, though? What’s the point of creating all of this and making some prophecy king if you’re just going to make them fail and kill him before they do things they are supposed to do? What’s the point, except for torturing Merlin in the slowest and most painful way? Was she drunk when drafting this destiny or is she a downright sadist?”

“William!” Freya gasped, eyes darting from side to side and her insides burning, telling her to run. “She can hear you!” she hissed covering the amber gem of her necklace as if it’d change a thing.

“I know, but am not sure if She is LISTENING.” he shouted at the spotlessly blue sky that was there for the comfort of Her little dead humans who made it to Avalon. “Or else she’d fix this bullcrap destiny,” Will grunted. 

“I’m sorry, I really am but there is nothing we can do, you are stuck here and I am stuck with the rules.” She sat next to him but he had mused away to the ground with a frown, not even turning around to look at her.

Freya sighed, zoning out.

The never faltering, never setting sun was up in the sky. Apple trees were swaying on their own accord in unison around their little clearing to watch the Living World. Little Sidhe’s were blinking left and right far away, so far that not even the perfect timed splashes of the Fountain of Eternal Youth was heard. She pressed her lips, hoping they would stay on their own part and won’t come close to the border of her realm. Keeping little Sidhe’s out of the inner parts of Avalon was least of her worries now.

No matter how it looked with the endless fruit trees and seemingly perfect sky, that place had more and more felt like a cage with each day passing. A cage where she could only watch as the prophecies came to pass and all she could do was scream inwardly. William only knew a fraction of it; but she, oh she knew every little detail, every little thing that could change the course of the actions but could do _nothing_ , not even talk about it.

Sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if there even was a difference between her now metaphorical cuffs or the solid cuffs she wore once.

“I have an idea.” Will’s eyes shone suddenly and turned to her with a mischievous smile. 

“Should I be scared?”

“Look,” he said turning fully to her, “Arthur is going to summon his father. I guess he does it by opening his gate, doesn’t he?” With a nod from her, Will kept going. “This is Arthur Pendragon and doesn’t know one single thing about the Otherworld, so obviously he’s going to mess something up. If I find Uther and somehow sneak out of his gate Arthur opened, I can enter the Land of the Living, then find Merlin and fix everything that’s going to happen.” Freya stared at him mouth hanging open at the thing he was suggesting.

“Will, you’ll perish! Abusing and escaping from another man’s gate is serious, you are not sneaking out of your mother’s house.” Freya grabbed him from the shoulders seeing she wasn’t getting it through him. Will averted his eyes, in a manner suggesting ‘not important’ but Freya managed to force eye contact with him. “Even if you did, you wouldn’t belong there and because you didn’t get out of your own gate, your ties to the Otherworld will try to pull you back in. You’ll perish, get torn apart between the two worlds at Samhain.”

“So I have time till Samhain.” Will nodded, jaw set in determination. 

“You’ll disappear forever!” Freya cried. “This won’t be like the peaceful rest wanting souls are put. You’ll be torn apart and stop existing.”

“So what? Watch as Merlin sacrifices everything he is for a man who treats him like dirt?” he said tilting his head with an angry manner. “Watch as Merlin spends the rest of his life depressed and let everything he suffered be for nothing? I finally have an opportunity to right this shitty destiny.” 

“This place will be empty without you.” Freya blurted out the horrible emptiness taking over her, remembering waking up in Avalon, just became a Guardian. The first sight she saw when she opened her eyes to this new unknown world had been -now very familiar- blue eyes brimmed with tears and a broken smile welcoming her. 

Will’s eyes softened.

“Oh, will you miss me, my almighty Goddess?” A shaky laugh escaped between her trembling lips. 

“I’m not a Goddess.”

“But you are powerful to be one and you’ll help me, right? I can’t find Uther Pendragon all on my own.” She closed her eyes for a second and got herself together. Will was stubborn enough to keep an entire clan of the Sidhe out of her realm and make them move somewhere away by talking for two living-world-months. He had already made up his mind, and as much as she wanted him to keep existing, nothing she could say would change his mind. 

“You sure about this? I don’t know about the consequences,” she said searching for any kind of hesitance.

Will simply nodded looking straight into her eyes. “I am prepared to pay whatever the price.”

“I will. For Merlin.” Freya breathed, heart still aching.

“That’s the spirit.” Will cheered.

“But we have a problem. Uther Pendragon is in the prison of Gweir in Caer Sidi-”

“Wonder why.”

“-which is Pwyll’s realm, not mine. I don’t have the knowledge where her realm is or how you can go to hers, never mind if it’s possible, or how you can break out from another’s gate. The Goddess withholds all the Guardians from that kind of knowledge to prevent us from transferring spirits without her permission and disturb the balance.” Will zoned away, thoughtful.

“What about Merlin’s father?” Freya shook her head.

“As a dragonlord, he has pure and primal magic in him. He is bound to the birthplace of magic, the Crystal Cave. I think he has more power in the Living World than the Spiritworld, just as I have more in this realm than the Living world.”

“…What about, say, if we knew someone who entered the Spiritworld in an unorthodox way, someone who walked inside a Veil, got lost and wandered all realms restless, then got his body pulled back to the Land of the Living, finally put rest in his second death, he’d know, right?” Freya pressed her lips, thinking if it was too early to wake him up. After all, the man had gone through not one, but two of the cruellest rituals. 

Will only smiled. “I think it’s time we wake the Sleeping Beauty.”

“What’s taking him so long?”

“He doesn’t want to wake up.”

“…You’re sure someone doesn’t have to kiss him, right?”

“If you want to, go ahead.”

“So you can have the satisfaction of calling me a princess.”

“Hmm, Princess William of Ealdor. Has a nice ring in it.”

Not again.

For the Love of all holy- What horrible crime had he committed to become a shade not once, but _twice_? Maybe if he could just grab somewhere and drown himself-

“Sir Lancelot?” Lancelot froze, remembering the pure pain that had torn his soul away from his restless body, being under the command-

Huh. 

His tongue didn’t have the urge to tell ‘I’m at your command, my lady.’ What had happened between his waking up in the pool as a shade and then put to rest in some boat, Merlin looking at him-?

Then all of it came down to him at once.

“N-no.” He could only shook his head, as if the horrible images would go before his eyes. Arthur charging with a cry- “No, no no..."

Strong arms grabbed his shoulders and raised him from the ground he wanted to dig himself in; gentle fingers brushed his hair, softly murmuring something to his ear but Lancelot heard none of it.

Guinevere. 

_God_ , Guinevere.

And Arthur, oh gods, _Arthur._

They were supposed to get married if he hadn’t made Gwen betray him. He had destroyed- No, Morgana. No, him. He should have found a way to resist, to kill himself rather than the horrible, _horrible_ -

“Calm down, Sir Lancelot. Everything is fine.”

“Gwen-” Lancelot choked out. 

“They got married, relax,” said the guy. 

Oh.

Lancelot stared at the lady watching him in pity, and the guy who was still holding his shoulders.

“That doesn’t excuse-” 

“You were not you.” The lady patted his hair, reminding him of the long-forgotten nights he slept on his mother’s lap. “The witch used your body for her evil purposes, none of it was your fault nor you could resist her power.”

“…I destroyed their relationship.”

“They are married now.” She smiled. “Everything is fine, be easy on yourself.”

“What happened? Did they learn Morgana made me enchant Gwen? Are they happy? What did Arthur do to her-”

“…I’ll show you later. But everything worked out fine at the end!” she said overcheerly. Lancelot threw an unconvinced glance at her but, oh well, she _radiated_ comfort and trust. Felt like a mother. Only having her gaze on him could make him float in bliss. 

A Guardian, Lancelot thought.

… How the hell did he know that?

“Why did I wake up? I’m dead, right? Truly, peacefully dead?” he asked a nervous worm eating him inside. 

“Yes.” 

“Thank the Gods.” Lancelot breathed and sobered up. “Excuse my manners, I’m Lancelot, my lady. You are the Guardian? And where are we?” he murmured curiously, looking at the apple trees around them, and the sky with the bluest colour he had ever seen.

“My name is Freya. You are in Avalon.” Lancelot stared at her.

“He told you about me?” she smiled.

“Oh.” he gaped after realizing he had been staring for a little too long. Merlin hadn’t told much about her - _clearly_ not she was a Guardian of one realm in Otherworld-.

Freya gestured the boy now sitting next to him.

“And this is William.” She stopped and added a second thought. “From Ealdor.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t been… expecting to meet with Merlin’s childhood best friend and his some-kind-of-a-brief-girlfriend in the afterlife. 

“Did something happen to Merlin?” Lancelot asked alarmed. His eyes darted on the surroundings. They were alone in a peaceful field that felt like heaven, everything in unison, everything one and unnaturally natural- Expect for some gigantic screen.

Lancelot nearly flinched seeing the semi-translucent view of Merlin and Arthur riding through plains. 

“What’s going on?” He jumped on his feet.

“In short? Arthur Pendragon is a hypocrite about to use magic he has no idea how to and we’ll use his messing up to break me into the Land of Living so I can fix the prophecy.” A thousand questions came to the tip of his tongue but looking at Arthur and Merlin galloping through the fields, Lancelot swallowed them. 

“What do I need to do?”

“You wandered in other realms of the Spiritworld,” Freya replied, “We need your help to find a way to get Will to the prison of Gweir in Caer Sidi.”

“I-” Lancelot gulped panic rising in his chest. “I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Will frowned. “Weren’t you lost?” 

A boiling shame rained down on him at the feeling of uselessness. “Yes, well I was lost and wandered but- Have you ever drowned? It was like drowning, or fighting the waves while getting carried away with the current. I didn’t pay attention to where or how I was going, just… simply waited for all to end.” Freya’s shoulders slouched. 

“Dammit!” Will shouted and kicked a pile of dirt off the ground.

“I’m so sorry.” 

Freya put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe… Maybe I can remember. If I- I don’t know, try to feel the flow…” Lancelot trailed off, waving his hand. It had felt like it would never end, and at some point, he had forgotten how it was to exist without drifting between realms, somewhere out of… everywhere. Now, all of it was like a hazy dream. 

“Perhaps you’ll remember if Arthur disturbs the balance and creates a… flow?” Freya mused. Lancelot sat on the ground and brushed the grass with his fingertips.

“Perhaps,” he murmured and raised his head. “Even if I do, I don’t know how to teach William. If you give me the message, I’ll deliver it whatever it takes, you have my word, my lady.” Lancelot hoped she could see the determination through her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “You-” Lancelot frowned seeing her close her mouth with a nearly audible click and zone out.

“My lady?” Lancelot got up and touched her arm carefully. She didn’t even blink, kept staring with empty eyes. “Umm, William?” He turned to Will who was sitting on the ground with a completely defeated posture.

Will threw a glance raising his head between his hands. “The Goddess blocked her probably because she was going to slip something secluded about destiny. Oh, for the record, great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Destiny!” he shouted at the sky. For a second, he waited for a lightning bolt to strike Will. 

“…What’s this important message?” Lancelot asked.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Will grumbled gesturing Arthur’s image walking between some giant stones. “We’re too late.”

Hearing a harsh breath, Lancelot turned back to Freya, who was staring mouth agape. 

“My lady?” he asked again but as soon as something seemed to ‘click’ in her face, Freya ran to Will, completely ignoring him.

“What-?” Will tried to escape from her hands holding his shoulders but Freya clung to him.

“Trust me, just trust me.” Before Will could say anything, she grabbed his head and met their foreheads.

An inhumane cry echoed from Will.

The helpless cry kicked Lancelot’s instincts and he leapt forward as Will frantically tried to kick her away. Not sure what was happening, he grabbed her by the arms. No matter how strong he tried to pull Freya away or how much Will squinted to escape, their heads didn’t separate, he couldn’t even move Freya an inch. When Will’s voice went rough and was no longer more than a whisper of cry, Freya moved away.

“What?! What the hell?! Why did you-” Will growled, pressing his head from sides with his hands as if trying to stop it from exploding. 

“I had to strengthen your connection and tie to magic. You’ll need that once you’re out.” 

“What connection? Tie-What?” Will glared at her. “If She finally fried your head, you didn’t need to fry mine too.” 

“I’m sorry but it was necessary. You’ll be able to use your gift once you make it out.”

“Gift? There is no out, Freya, it’s too -oh for the love of- What did you _do_ to me?” Will said massaging his temples.

“I-” At that very moment, the whole world began to shake beneath them and Lancelot fell flat on the ground couldn’t keep his balance. 

“Wh-” he breathed to the grass and squinted his eyes seeing the blue light radiating from the giant screen. The semi-translucent view turned into very solid images and Lancelot suddenly could see Arthur clear as day, as alive as he last saw him. His armour was shining from the eternal light, so much in contrast to the last time he saw, under the darkness of the Otherworld surrounding them, the horrible cries echoing- Then, he remembered that wasn't the last time. It itched his wound; his heart ached, it ached _so much_ to see him once more after what had happened. 

The world stilled after a moment Uther’s spirit appeared in front of Arthur.

“Arthur opened Uther’s gate without the ritual,” Freya explained breathless, holding his arm and trying to help him raise up.

“Any brilliant thoughts? Has your muse come? Feel the flow? Anything?” Will asked, pain forgotten, eyes desperately turned to him.

Lancelot closed his eyes for a second and tried to find some familiar feeling. Arthur had disturbed… something. He had thrown a giant rock on a stream and now, the water was going mad, trying to keep in but was overflowing. Borders between the realms were boiling, popping up and down and-He wasn’t drifting anymore, was he?

“I remember.” Lancelot shuddered and opened his eyes. “But we don’t have time to teach you, just give me the message.” 

“No,” Freya said in a voice firm. “You have to stay in Avalon until your return is due.” 

“Return?” Lancelot frowned.

“Uh, guys, we have a problem.” Both Freya and Lancelot turned to Will, who was pointing to the sky. Lancelot followed his finger and a very black -not blue at all- sky welcomed him. For a second, roughly a square as big as a house part of the sky turned blue, but then it went black with a little white spot shining.

Oh. 

It didn’t look right. 

Freya stumbled down and Lancelot grabbed her. 

“I…gates…hold…” She grimaced in pain. Little tiny stars began to shine on the dark sky and Lancelot looked at Will alarmed. “Uther…” Freya breathed closing her eyes. “free… Uther free.”

“Hell no,” Will grumbled. “That dipshit is _not_ going free when I’m stuck here.”

“Stop Uther. Stop-” Freya gave a pained cry and dug her nails in his skin. Lancelot desperately looked at Will as he tried to hold Freya in pain, hoping he’d know what was happening to her. His head snapped back, hearing her shaky breaths and saw her closed eyes murmuring softly to herself. “Ready. I’m ready.”

She raised her head, trying to stand straighter. Lancelot automatically had his arm around her waist, trying to _do something_ to help, but not sure what was happening to her.

Freya gave a pained smile looking at William. “Goodbye, Will.”

Will’s confused face suddenly lit up as he figured out something Lancelot couldn’t quite understand.

“Thank you thank you, for everything. I’ll never forget you and tell Merlin-” Will sputtered. 

“Run.”

A deafening cry from Freya echoed in his mind and a blinding white light began to shine right on his head. 

Will ran towards it with all he got. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first writing in Merlin fandom, first published thing on AO3 *and* my first piece of writing that is in English! I'm not a native speaker so apologies in advance for mistakes and constructive criticism is more than welcome.
> 
> I talked about some treaty with the Druids because I was so hyped for the “A Herald of A New Age” episode and then… Never mentioned again??? My dude Arthur just promising to this little kid that died he’d *fix* it and then… not bothering to do something???


	2. Chapter 2

It should have felt bizarre.

It _would_ have felt bizarre to be on the Land of the Living once again after finally breaking through the endless void between the two worlds. Will would have taken a few moments in awe to live this, to experience this familiar but all so new world, buzzing and vibrating with life—

If Uther Pendragon wasn’t standing before him, doing something not good.

Only if.

His foot barely touched the not-perfect grass enough to feel it’s cold dampness. The sight of Uther’s backside filled his vision -it would be a disappointing thought later, Uther’s ass being the first thing he saw in the Land of Living.-

As if he had been spitted out of the Otherworld, he crashed into Uther. Before he could back away and adjust to the world, the Earth around them began to stretch like a lazy cat under the sun. The grass blended together and became one giant green stone sliding slowly beneath them. Clouds he wished to see were not painting the sky; instead, they too had blended with the soft blue along with sun’s light, making it a sickly colour.

He raised his hand and tried to grab Uther to stop this, that idiot needed to stop, this had to stop, it wasn’t natural, he was messing with the flow of the Earth like he hadn’t fucked up so many—

But his fingertips brushed only a turbulent of air. Uther was sliding on the grass path he created as smoothly and fast as a stream flowing on its course.

He jumped forward without a thought.

His hand found the cold, unnatural arm. Will clung to it like a lifeline. Before he knew it, the world began drifting with a dizzying speed.

It had been days.

Or mere seconds, Will didn’t know. Drifting -whatever the hell they were doing- with Uther had destroyed all sense of time and place. He could only watch the mixed-up world around them, coloured with colours shouldn’t have existed ever. Uther’s arm was the only thing that grounded him.

Abruptly they stopped. Will only understood they stopped when he bumped into Uther’s back, again.

The palate began to clear, messed up greens evaporated, all the colours returned to their places like soldiers commanded. The world around them stilled and the grey curbstones beneath became visible.

Huh.

Camelot.

He hadn’t been in Camelot before -he hadn’t been anywhere _this fancy_ before- but it didn’t take a genius to see the red flags swinging from ridiculously pompous turrets and understand Uther had somehow got them to Camelot.

It was a hell lot of different from Ealdor. The castle surrounded them was going up in the sky, higher than anything he had seen, and Will couldn’t help but wonder how it would be to look from one of the top windows, be neighbour to birds.

A man with a cart and a girl carrying a basket was just passing by, guards in red with spears as long as themselves stayed up like statues, seemingly not noticing two ghosts appearing at the middle of the courtyard.

God, a soft smile appeared on his lips. It was buzzing with life, so much different from watching transparent views from Otherworld and so much different from the time he was alive.

“Thanks for the free ride,” he murmured letting go of Uther’s arm.

He could sense every living thing, the Earth around them like vibrating strings. Some man behind him, some horse in the stables eating hay…

It was too easy to remember how Merlin would feel and ‘touch’.

> _“How do you_ — _” Will stared at the beautiful tableaux hanging on mid-air made of fallen leaves of autumn. They were in their safe haven, the small clearing that noone else knew about, thick trees covering them like guards. The yellowish leaves flew and swapped places with each other, creating a living portrait of a forest._
> 
> _“I touched them. With my magic,” Merlin said fully turned to him, intently watching him and his reaction. He glanced back at Merlin, who had a smile so wide that shouldn’t be possible._
> 
> _“Touched?” He tried to frown.“Well now, do we have to defend our dignity from your magic too?”_
> 
> _Merlin delightfully went red by his ear tips. “That was-No Will, that was a simple misunderstanding- No, Will- God, you’re an ass,” Merlin said as he howled with laughter._

Was this how Merlin saw, felt the world when doing magic? Strings stretching out of everything, and he was the musician making them tingle—

“Who the hell are you?” A growl came.

Will opened his eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed. Uther was staring at him with open hostility, eyes glowing with anger.

Something twisted in him.

This man, who stood before him, was the man cause of all harm, cause of all the blood spilt, cause of all the fear, cause of all the endless sufferings.

Will pressed his lips in annoyance. “Who the hell are _you_?” Uther taken aback, frowned looking like he was trying to process the fact someone asked who the hell he was.

He raised his blue chin, voice so pompous. “I’m Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot.”

“Oh? And I’m King William of,” Will pursed his lips considering and then shrugged, “the world.” Uther squinted his eyes, looking up and down on him.

“You’re no King," he hissed, eyes on his village clothes.

“I am. Just elevated myself.”

“It doesn’t work like that. I am the King,” Uther snapped like he was personally insulted.

“Well you are cold dead now, and if the dead can go around claiming ridiculous titles, I sure can.” Confused eyes bore into his skull, and then Uther made a disgusted noise, turning away from him.

“Get out of my sight.”

“Or you’ll kill me? I know daftness is a Pendragon trait,” Uther slowly turned back to him. Will could have sworn his nose was flaring with smoke, looking like a dragon about to eat him. He continued anyway. “so I’m going to explain slowly. I am dead. I am a ghost. Of course, your first instinct is to kill everyone like the murderer genocidal—”

“Enough!” Uther _roared_.

Will didn’t need to breathe -well obviously because, you know, he was dead- but he gasped nonetheless.

“What the hell?” He heard one of the guards exclaim, both of them trying desperately to hold their spears which seemingly mistook themselves for birds.

That wasn’t why he gasped, though.

The feeling of unnatural in this living world, Uther’s unearthly interference with the world, that had made him gasp. He could feel the Earth around them flowing in its natural course, so peaceful and beautiful expect for Uther, who was like a frozen hand digging out the world’s intestines.

Will reached out instinctually without knowing what he did, using a fifth invisible limb he didn’t know he had until that moment.

He could feel Uther’s freezing presence on the essence of the matter, tugging the strings of the spears to make them attack.

Will tugged back. What was he tugging? No clue, but only that this had to be stopped according to his newly acquired sense.

That made Uther tighten his hold. It was like a tug of war, like the ones they played in Ealdor, only the rope was the magical essence of the matters.

The strings escaped from Uther’s hand, away from his unnatural touch, desperately wanting to return their balanced natural state. Will let go of them as soon as they were out of Uther’s dictation. The strings seemed to give out a breath of relief, the balance returning. He opened his eyes and saw Uther looking at him… Almost scared.

Good.

“You have caused enough harm, Uther.” He glared. “I won’t let you cause more. You will go to hell where you belong.”

“Never,” Uther spat, his sharp teeth showing like a pair of fangs on a wild animal. Will squinted his eyes, calculating this man looking more like an animal than human. Whatever the hell they were doing in other realms -seemingly rasping teeth was one of them-, he was glad he had been with Freya. “I’ll never go back there. My legacy must continue,” Uther spoke in venom.

Will looked straight in his eyes. “Your legacy still continues sadly, and I’m here to change that.”

A murderous glare appeared on Uther’s face as he snarled and gritted his teeth, readying to jump on him. Which made Will snort, really, what was he going to do? Strangle someone who didn’t need breathing?

Before he could learn what Uther was going to do, he just stopped, looking somewhere at his back. Will half-turned following his gaze, not trusting Uther to turn his back fully. The nearly setting sun was shining on the entrance of the courtyard, like a celestial sign.

Merlin and a very sulky Arthur had just entered the courtyard on their horses.

Merlin.

_Merlin_.

Gods, his not-beating heart nearly began beating again seeing his friend -not a semi-translucent image of him, but _him_ , alive and solid and there-. His legs carried him unconsciously.

The trip back should have taken them at least three days, but there they were. Just how much time had passed when Uther drifted them through place, or had they travelled through time as well? Will shivered.

Arthur gave the reigns to Merlin and then started walking away lost in thought.

“Arthur,” Merlin said, throwing a worried glance at Arthur. Merlin’s voice echoed in his ears. How much time had passed since the last time he heard it this clear, this real; not coming from thousand leagues of death away? “You have a meeting soon, do you want me to-?”

“No, I’ll be there.” Arthur shook his head, continuing to walk away. Will walked after Merlin mesmerized, feeling a tuck to get to him, as Merlin tugged the horses into the stables, handing them to a stable boy. Gods, he had missed him. Being unable to do something as Merlin slowly crushed, as destiny shoved all its cards through his throat, beating and moulding him to what She desired; watching all of it from afar hadn’t been… easy.

With a wave of eagerness, Will gave an exasperated sigh to Merlin, who was still talking to the same stable boy. He had thought, with magic, Merlin would be able to sense him. He had been wrong.

It was so tempting to—

Will slowly touched Merlin's jacket couldn’t wait any longer. The feeling of the scrap between his fingers was more beautiful than it should have been—

Merlin flinched. He jumped out of his skin, turned to him with a shaky breath. Will stumbled back.

“...Merlin?” he asked nervously looking in his eyes, but Merlin’s eyes were darting around the stable, not noticing nor hearing him.

He couldn’t help feeling disappointed.

“Merlin?” the boy asked and Merlin turned to him with a fake smile.

“I thought I felt something.” Merlin shrugged. “Gotta go.”

Fuck.

Will stared after Merlin. How was he supposed to reach to Merlin when he didn’t see or hear him, even flinched with his touch-

Wait, where was Uther?

Will threw himself out of the stables. His eyes darted on every corner of the courtyard frantically searching for him, but there was no sign of that unearthly blue backside.

Double fuck.

Will looked between Merlin and the castle’s entrance, torn between finding a way to talk to Merlin; and find Uther, stop whatever the hell he was planning.

Damn it, he shouldn’t have let him out of his sight. He didn’t know what Uther was up to. Considering he still thought himself as the king and wanted to protect his fucked up legacy, nothing good.

A genocidal mad ghost running free for vengeance no one but himself knew about so far was quite emergency, he could probably -hopefully- find a way to reach to Merlin once he took care of that.

A very colourful string of curses followed Uther’s name as he ran into the castle.

Will leaned against the wall of the doors, trying to keep an eye open to stop Uther if he decided to jump straight into the meeting.

It couldn't be more monotone and more boring if they actively tried. Some words about places were entering from his one ear and then leaving from the other side. His eyes, on the other hand, was moving around the room although he had seen it countless times.

Gigantic windows were covering the whole right side, and he had no idea how the room seemed to be so full yet be so empty at the same time. The Round Table was in the middle of the room, and hands down, it was the biggest table he had ever seen in his life. He had accustomed to the table in the past years, as he watched from Freya’s monitor. But it was… different to see like this. Real. Not an image, a projection but _real_. The last sunlights’ entering from the windows dancing everywhere, all those fancy dresses knights and Gwen wore… Everything he saw, was real.

His eyes caught Merlin’s ‘I’m totally not bored’ face.

He couldn’t help grimacing remembering the stupid thing he did in the stables, the unexplainable temptation. The last thing he should have been doing was to cause more problems for Merlin.

Seeing Merlin, just right there standing behind, but not being able to communicate with him in any way other than to make him jump and shout in front of everyone was as annoying as watching from afar. If he could just-just get one second, one second where Merlin was alone he could figure out something.

He was _there_ , but he still couldn’t do _something_.

It was a shame he didn’t know how to do that slide-through-time-and-place trick. Will had briefly hoped that was what Freya gave him right before he broke out but she hadn’t. Well, if it wasn’t that, Will wondered why the hell he went through that pain. And how Uther knew how to, was a full mystery to him.

Freya could have _at least_ given him some kind of mind speech thing to talk with Merlin if such thing existed- or oh God, at least the strength to get over this meeting. Leon’s monotone voice could be used to put souls at rest, he thought.

“… There is also a strange incident that happened today at courtyard…”

_That_ got his attention.

“… the guards said that their weapons had acted like they had their minds of their own or controlled by some…” Leon squinted his eyes looking at the paper. “…'cold and angry presence’ Though,” He switched papers and skimmed over the other one. “we have witnesses seeing those guards at the tavern last night-”

BAM.

Will jumped back with the loud thud, staring at the grand doors thrown open.

Of course, fucking drama queen.

Will closed his eyes, feeling Uther’s presence tingling on the windows, trying to blow them up.

Now, there was something he could do.

He tugged and tried to hold their reigns. It ended quite fast when Uther let go abruptly. Will opened his eyes, frowning at why Uther let- He understood why, when he felt the chain broke but was too late to stop it.

The candelabras crushed on the Round Table. Splinters raised like smoke, covering the shocked faces. Will grimaced seeing everyone jump. The table had a nasty crack-

Wait where had Uther _gone_?

Will gave out a crying noise.

Damn it, he could only feel Uther’s presence when he messed up with the essence of the Earth. The fucking coward he was, of course he'd run away as soon as he did something. He had been able to sense Uther travelling through place the first time he did that, possibly he had right bumped into him. But now, he didn’t have an ounce of idea where he was.

Just fantastic. Marvellous.

His eyes found Merlin’s scared but calculating eyes, examining the whole room.

Well, it looked like a change in plans.

“I want the table repaired before the next council meeting— Are you listening to me, Merlin?” Will gritted his teeth behind Arthur, ordering and lording everyone as usual. The meeting had been cut off short but time was flying, the sun had already set. He had to somehow find a way to communicate with Merlin before things got out of hand, but if oh his Lordness’ orders ended.

“What, sorry. I was just thinking about what happened,” Merlin snapped catching up with Arthur.

“Did you get a terrible fright?”

“Yes, my heart nearly jumped out through my mouth.”

“Maybe you should have the rest of the day off and put your feet up.”

“Really?” Arthur stopped and turned to Merlin giving him ‘a look’.

“You were joking,” Merlin said flatly.

Arthur shook his head and kept going. “There really is no limit to your intelligence, is there Merlin?”

“Maybe I should put _your_ feet up.” Will murmured annoyed, as he passed by Merlin.

He had very much prefered it by not putting Merlin in a hard position. Well, if they couldn’t hear Will, that didn’t mean he’d shut up and sit down, taking everything Arthur Pendragon gave to Merlin silently. 

Besides, this had just given him a new idea.

Focused on all Arthur; he didn’t hear Merlin’s sharp intake, nor saw the candles flickering like fireflies behind him.

Will’s dead stomach revolted -and _that_ said something- as he pulled the strings, messing with the balance rather than trying to return it to normal. It was no wonder how Uther had the stomach to do it that freely.

The strings obeyed him and suddenly the ground beneath Arthur Pendragon wasn’t beneath him anymore, he was lying flat on it. Before the weird frown from shock disappeared from his face, Merlin ran immediately, turning the corner.

“Arthur?” Arthur snapped at Merlin wide-eyed, chest panting with panic.

“I- Nothing.” Arthur frowned, getting up.

“What were you doing, putting your feet up?” Merlin tried to joke but Arthur didn’t reply, anxiously eyeing the corridor a hand on his scabbard.

“Did you feel something?” Merlin asked coming closer to Arthur and nearly whispering. Arthur turned to Merlin with a gulp.

“Did _you_ feel something?” he asked back.

“I think so,” Merlin whispered eyes darting around the corridor. “First the meeting and now— There is something wrong.”

That had actually been Uther but, it was what he was trying to do.

“You and your feelings.” Arthur tried but even Will could see the anxiousness written all over his face.

“Don’t you think it is too much of a coincidence for things like this happen after we- you know.” Merlin made a gesture waving his hands.

Arthur pressed his lips. “You are being ridiculous and superstitious.”

“Arthur-”

“No,” Arthur cut in. “not a word of that,” he said and turned away with a sharp swosh, walking down the corridor.

Will huffed after him. Of course, what had he thought? Of course, he’d deny any evidence suggesting he had done something wrong and unleashed his father’s ghost.

But that didn't stop the panging disappointment. He had to find something, some way to-

Merlin, face cold as stone, examined the corridor and then turned away walking. He stopped, looking at his back and then nearly ran all the way to his chambers.

Will followed him.

Without breathing a word to Gaius warily eyeing him, Merlin closed his door behind him and leaned against it. A few deep breaths seemed to return his heart to normal. He could have sworn something was behind it all the way- With a shaky breath, he laughed at himself for juggling down the corridors looking behind every few steps or so.

He had felt something. He had felt something pass him by before Arthur fell down and during the meeting the candelabras… Merlin had nearly heard footsteps behind him before he threw himself in Physician’s Chambers.

Not even having the strength to take over his jacket, Merlin slouched on his bed.

Well, what could be better than having Uther’s ghost roaming the castle? He could only hope Arthur hadn’t somehow unleashed his spirit but he knew- That, there was that feeling again as if someone was just behind him. Merlin turned his back and threw a glance.

“Fuck!” He jumped. The room suddenly felt so small and so big, Merlin didn’t know how he managed to scramble away, throwing himself to the other side of the room.

He raised his hand in defence.

The inkwell hanging on mid-air stared at him, and he stared back. It was dead silent now, only his heart trying to get out of his ribcage could be heard.

The inkwell _walked_ to the back wall.

And there went his doubts that maybe something wasn’t wrong.

“What do you want?” Merlin asked icily. The black ink painted the wall.

_Will_

His jaw clenched. “You will not have what you will-” The ink went before the word and wrote something in addition.

_ı am Will_

Merlin frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

“…What do you mean? What do you will?” The inkwell stared at him -Merlin wasn’t sure how an inkwell _could_ stare but the deadpan feeling it was radiating was too strong to name it otherwise-.

The black ink started to paint urgently and almost exasperated.

_I AM WILL_

Merlin squinted his eyes trying to understand. What was Uther trying to say? And now he looked at it, as far as he knew, Uther had a neat and sharp writing, not like the almost child-like writing painting the wall, almost as if it was written by someone who learned it briefly. The realization dawned on him.

Gods, who or _what_ was unleashed?

Merlin didn’t hear the spirit’s cry but he could feel his frustration as it added _LIAM_ to _WILL_.

He stared at the words written on his wall.

_ı am Will_

_I AM WILLLIAM_

Wait…

That-

“No, can’t be.” He choked out. “What are you playing at?”

The inkwell was thrown back to his desk, spilling a little portion of it, as the spirit kept writing fervently all over his wall.

_I AM WILL WILLIAM YU UTTER JOBBERNOWL MORONIC CLOTPOL -_ His heart began to race with familiar words, but not daring to hope. If- no, it couldn’t be possible.- _YOU WAZZOCK WARLOK_

“…Will?” Merlin half whispered half choked with the tears filling his eyes.

There was no way in this or Otherworld Uther would know special insults used by exasperated Will. Merlin smiled staring at ‘wazzock warlock’, something sweet rising inside him, seeing it once again after many, many years.

He had lost Will too early and lost too much with him gone. He-he shouldn’t have died, Merlin should have- just something, _anything_ than losing him. He hadn’t thought Will wouldn’t be just _there_ , like he always was, feared only for a split second when he returned to Ealdor after leaving without saying a word, but even then- Until the time he was just- gone. All his childhood, his best friend burned away taking Merlin’s secret to the grave and then… That was it. Gone. His chest seized and face grimaced with the memories of the two of them filling up- Oh gods, how much time had passed? Since when the memories of Will and Ealdor had felt more like a happy dream he had rather than the life he lived once?

_FINALY_

“Are you really-? How?” Merlin stuttered.

A few seconds passed without anything written and Merlin nearly crushed with false hope. It was too good to be true. It should have been a game, a trick to-Then, the inkwell was back flying and the letters started to paint clearer and Merlin realized Will had only got the inkwell he threw.

_Freya_

“F-Freya?” His voice cracked. “She is here too?”

Merlin looked around the room with his tear filled-up eyes. Will was there, and-and Freya… He could amend it, amend what happened to her. There wasn’t enough air for his heart, crushing under the overwhelming emotions. The weight of her dead body in his arms- Merlin shivered feeling that haunting weight.

Freya, the thought felt so far fetched, so impossible. Hell, he was about to, no going to leave all Camelot, Arthur and destiny behind with her.

She had paid his childishness with her life, both of their deaths had been his fault.

And if Will was really there, if he was-

_No can t come_

Slowly painted the wall.

“Oh,” he breathed, a boiling disappointment rising up in him but at the same time…

_m sorry_

Merlin gave a broken smile. “No, no you’re here- Are you really here? How can you be here?” He frowned, a voice whispering how could it be even Will, he was dead for years, this was all a game-

_or you v finaly gone ful bonkers_

He laughed -though it was more like a cough-. His forehead pinched a little, the absurdity and the sheer impossibility of their situation dawning on him.

"How?" Words came out of his mouth, perhaps harsher than he intended.

_arthur distub the balance freya helpt me out_

Merlin didn't know if that even made sense or not. How did the Otherworld work? No clue. But considering W-the thing, and Uther's spirit was unleashed, the thought of Arthur disturbing the balance wasn't far fetched.

If he could pretend for a few seconds, just for a few-

No, he couldn't let his guard down, at the face of the unknown danger.

But the sweet thought had entered his mind once, awakening the thoughts and feelings long forgotten. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been for God knows how long, always holding his breath, always on the edge. Now, breathing actually looked quite good. Whatever Freya had done, if she had found a way to send Will, _Will,_ to the land of the living...

“I’m sorry,” Merlin blurted out, not caring anymore if it really was Will or not. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you, you shouldn’t have-”

_I watched_

Will wrote and Merlin frowned.

“Watched what?”

_you_

“…What did you watch?” Merlin asked slowly.

_everyting_

The world slowed down and started to spin. _Everything_ , echoed in his mind as the haunting memories began to swim before his eyes.

_The sword cutting Kilgharrah’s chains, the smell of the burned flesh, screams echoing, fire consuming, the shock on Gilli’s face, druids, druids in the well screaming and burning, his father, Morgana gasping in his arms, Freya, Uther dying in his hands, corpses, dozens of he killed, dead bodies covering the tunnels, himself walking away in the midst of all the corpses-_

Merlin gulped.

If Will had watched him and everything he has done- Merlin dearly hoped he hadn’t. No, it wasn’t because Will wouldn’t approve the things done, that was not even a question, but he’d _hate_ him. He’d hate him for the things he had done, for the person he has become- When even Merlin himself was haunted still, and hated himself for those things, how would someone else not?

How would _Will_ not?

The thought of Will hating him squished his insides.

“I had to.” He blurted out, desperation rising in him to not lose Will again right before getting him back.

_we ll talk_

Painfully slowly wrote on the wall. Merlin left a shaky breath.

Talk.

Talk was good. Talking was something he hadn’t done for a long time, considering the urge to just _pour_ it all on Will’s familiar embrace. Talking with Will was good- no, a miracle.

…so why was he nearly shaking, the boiling fear squishing him?

_first uther s here_

Merlin sobered up seeing Uther’s name. He should have known it was too good to be true.

“Where?” he asked hand half raised.

_not here_

‘you daft’ left unwritten.

_but a gost in Camelot_

“The meeting was him, wasn’t it?” Merlin asked but it wasn’t even a question. Everything had started to make sense now -except for how on Earth was Will in the middle of all-.

Merlin squinted his eyes for a second, realizing he had perhaps too quickly accepted that it was Will. If it was a trick, what kind of trick was this?

Then, Lancelot's shade's terrifying skull came before his eyes. His empty eyes, calculated moves, the shell of the person he knew, his shallow laughs, used for something evil-

_yes he s mad than usual_

“We have to make him return to the Otherworld,” Merlin said zoning out, a horrible emptiness in him.

He wasn't sure if he could go through the same thing again.

He wasn't sure he could bear losing Will like that, again after all these years.

That couldn’t-

...But Lancelot hadn't felt like Lancelot. He didn't know the stuff Lancelot would now, things that were only between the two of them. Will felt like... Will. His words, his quick expressions- wazzock warlock curled his lips upwards automatically.

He had to focus.

A madder than usual Uther roaming the castle was something that should be dealt as quickly as possible, especially considering just how much he disapproved Arthur’s reign.

He could figure out the truth about Will.

“You don’t know how I can make him return, do you?”

_still not a expert on magick_

“That makes the two of us,” Merlin murmured scratching his head. Well, he could ask Gaius or Kilgh-

Something in the room changed.

The inkwell was thrown sideways, spilling all the continents; spreading like a pile of dark blood. Before he could even frown, his door was thrown open. Merlin jumped out of his skin with the loud thud.

_Uther came_ , his mind frantically supplemented.

“Merlin!” He saw Gaius on the other side of the room, eyes on the thrown open door, still rocking back and forth. “What happened?” Gaius asked coming too fast for his age.

“No, don’t!” Merlin cried in panic, not taking his eyes off around his room. He couldn’t have Uther’s attention on Gaius when he didn’t even see him.

Gaius stopped.

Merlin closed his eyes, trying to feel Uther. He tried to focus the world around him, the rapid beats of his hearts in his ears. He had spent sleepless nights trying to ‘feel’ and understand the essence of the matters around him after the disaster with the pendant causing Uther’s death. It had been hopeless, he had tried again and again to feel the evilness or the dark magic in the pendant but couldn’t feel _anything_ abnormal, none radiated some sinister darkness by the essence. It wasn’t only limited with the pendant though, everything just felt… Existing. And alive. Perhaps he didn’t know how to distinguish between them. They were existing in the balance of the Earth, they weren’t unnatural to him. More like a part of the world. Now though, a ghost from the Otherworld was quite unnatural.

But considering he didn’t feel Will’s presence until he saw an inkwell walking and words written all over his wall, he probably shouldn’t get his hopes high.

Merlin tried, he did try to feel and reach out further out once the room seemed to be normal. Was that cold feeling a trick of his mind or-

“What on Earth happened?” Merlin opened his eyes hearing Gaius’ exclaim. He followed Gaius’ wide eyes and met with the wall written all over it with black ink, like a child’s drabblings.

“It’s-um.” Merlin closed his mouth back. How the hell was he supposed to explain it all? That he and Arthur had gone to summon Uther’s spirit and apparently fucked up at some point and unleashed his ghost; and now, Will, who shouldn’t have any connection at all, was here.

If it really was Will, to begin with.

Merlin could guess his mentor's words, could see his calculating and sceptical gaze if he told about Will.

Gaius quirked an eyebrow in a Gaius manner. “Something you’re not telling me? Yes, I can in fact see that.” Merlin couldn’t stop Gaius as he stepped in his room.

“Have you completely lost your mind writing ‘ _warlock_ ’ all over your wall in _Camelot_?” Gaius turned to him after spotting one of the biggest writings.

“So, uh, I think there is something I should tell you. Somethings, probably.” Merlin scratched his head.

“Yes, I’ve gathered that much,” Gaius replied, mouth pressed in a thin line reading quickly over the writings.

“I’m just a simple farm boy... with a magical friend... I didn't ask for the genocidal ghost kings… and fixing the first draft of destiny.” Will ran down the corridors of the castle, not paying any damn attention to whoever he passed, or whatever the hell happened as he ran down. Uther was about to do, or God help him, had already done something.

He had felt that freezing hand that belonged to the Otherworld coming from a little afar. Only the sensation he felt as his compass, Will was running towards it. What made him run down like Old Man Simmon’s mad cattle on spring, was that he had felt a _weapon_ was controlled-

Why the hell would someone make a castle this complicated and _big_. God, it was taking ages to get from somewhere to another place. Dammit, Freya could have helped a lot if she just taught him-

He stumbled into the armoury -more like threw himself in-. His eyes frantically searched the empty armoury fearing to find a dead body lying around. If his heart could beat, it would be out of his mouth by now. 

Another weapon was being controlled- Will turned the corner and saw.

The axe in Uther’s hand was thrown with full force straight to Percival’s clueless head.

“Watch out!” Will wanted to shout, but there wasn’t enough time. Instincts kicking in, he had just enough time to alter the axe briefly.

A cry of pain echoed and Will grimaced seeing the blood seeping through Percival’s wound, where the axe had hit him on his shoulder.

Will felt something hit _him_. Not in a painful way, or something scary but… weird. It felt like someone was poking around him like a physician examining a patient with care. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something -possibly Uther- blue gaping like a fish and disappearing. The sensation vanished abruptly as it came.

Will turned to Uther with a glare but found his place empty.

“Not on my watch,” he shouted -though there was _a lot_ more he wanted to shout to Uther- hoping he could hear him through hell and beyond. But first, Percival. And the blood pooling on the ground.

Percival looked around curiously at the garments and frowned at the axe lying next to him.

“Huh,” he said and turned around, ripping apart one of the cloths lying around from other knights and applied pressure to it but the blood was raining down.

Will went after Percival, who was possibly going to the physician.

Uther wasn't going to hurt anyone else.

Will never had had a habit of biting his nails, but now looked like a good time to start as he hung around the Physician’s Chambers with Percival getting treated.

He had just made it, with bare seconds. If he had been just a little late, Percival would have lost his head because of Uther Pendragon. It was beyond mind-blowing how that man managed to fuck everything up even when he was dead. Oh no, his bullshit ‘legacy’ of murder and genocide wouldn’t be enough for Uther Pendragon, would it? No, bold of anyone to assume dead would settle him, of course, he’d have to come back as a vengeful ghost!

That had to stop.

In complete silence, Gaius was treating the wound with Merlin.

Will didn’t know if he could make it back in time the next time. He _feared_ not making it the next time. It had only taken a second away from him to someone get hurt. All of this had to stop and Uther Pendragon should be gone to hell once and for all. It was a good thing his dead body couldn’t get tired, or else he would have collapsed right there and there. Babysitting Uther Pendragon and making sure nobody was killed was more tiring than the harvest time work.

Only Percival’s commentary on ‘felt something cold like it was watching me’ had livened up the place. Will looked straight to Merlin. It was impossible to miss the brief look Gaius and Merlin shared at his words.

So, Merlin had told Gaius.

That was understandable, considering him nor Merlin knew how to get rid of Uther, and it wasn’t hard to understand the man had become some kind of a father figure to him. Will’s shoulders slouched remembering the past.

Life in Ealdor hadn’t been easy on Merlin. It was so easy to remember six or seven summers old Merlin wandering off into the woods all alone in front of curious eyes. And getting picked up on by other kids when he returned with a flower crown on his head.

Well, he didn’t regret an ounce jumping up and punching Rudolf straight square on the face, hell, it was undoubtedly the best thing he did. Will found himself smiling remembering Merlin’s wide-blown eyes, and his skittish movements at first, curious about _why_. Everything had escalated very quickly after that, two outcast children growing closer.

Will’s lips curled downwards seeing Merlin’s closed off face. Everything had been… so simple and joyful. He missed it. He missed Merlin’s easy smile he cast around and made everything better. Now though, the closed-off, nearly paranoid and lost man he was about to become, had already become was terrifying. Destiny had taken its toll on him.

Gaius wrapped up a cloth around Percival’s sewn wound. Well, Gaius too, in a way with his too secure and paranoid acts, easily turning his back on people and making Merlin do too. It had been aggravating, hair-tearing to watch everything from afar. Everything had shaped Merlin who he was now, especially that fucking overgrown lizard. Once this was all over, Will was going to pay a nice, _totally_ civil visit to him.

Now, he was here. And he was absolutely determined to get his friend back.

Percival got up, thanking Gaius and Merlin, then leaving. He didn’t need to feel the strings to feel the tension hanging heavy on the air. Will glanced at Merlin’s closed door, wondering if Merlin had magicked those writings away.

Merlin moved around, taking a piece of paper and a quill, placing them on the now empty table where they usually had dinners. Gaius’ lips thinned.

“It must have been Uther,” Merlin said zoning on the papers with a troubled expression. Will walked to the table, looking at the quill. It was a hell lot fancier with the tail and feathers on its back, than that wooden quill he made.

“We have to stop him before he hurts anyone else,” Merlin said turning back at Gaius with a serious face.

“I’m afraid it is not that simple. But first,” Gaius said lips thinned, eyebrow raised and eyes cold as stone. “ _what_ was that really?”

“I told you—” Merlin frowned.

“Forgive me if I’m having a hard time believing your childhood best friend who has been dead for nearly ten years came back as a ghost alongside Uther, which he has absolutely no correlation or whatsoever. Whatever it is, it shouldn’t be here, it makes no sense _how_ he is here.”

“Do you think I don't know?” Merlin looked sharply at Gaius. “I know but- It's Will. He doesn’t feel like… Like Lancelot. He is trying to help us.”

“Doesn’t it seem fishy to you too Merlin, that _somehow,_ for some unexplainable reason, your dead best friend suddenly appears as a helpful ghost?”

Merlin threw a hesitating and lost glance to his closed door.

That was it.

Will reached out to the quill and picked it up.

Merlin jumped back and Gaius took a sharp breath. What a sight it must be for them, a quill writing itself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Merlin screwing to the door of their chambers, locking it up with drawing the little wooden handle behind it.

He nearly squeezed the quill and the ink smeared all over the yellowish paper as he wrote.

_havent you spread enaf of yor paranoia to him_

Will scrambled hands nearly shaking. He threw the paper turning it to Gaius, who read it with a glance, face going hard.

Merlin peeked to see the paper, but Will looked straight into Gaius’ eyes although he couldn’t see him.

“Who are you?” Gaius said closing off, eyes narrowing in a manner Will watched over and over.

“I’m,” Will said, heating up with _finally_ being able to say the words he tortured Freya with to their actual earners. “ah shit, you can’t hear me,” Will grunted.

Merlin tore the paper from Gaius’ hand and placed it back on the table. Will was sitting down, face to face with paper and Merlin stood in front of him with a blank face, but Will could see through his tense shoulders how anxious he actually was.

“Prove who you are.”

Will picked up the quill again.

The quill was weird, now he realized as he held it without the urge to just tell what he thought. It felt… so abnormal in his worn and worked out hands which were used to knives, axes and sharping tools.

What the hell.

Will dipped the tip of the quill to the inkwell and started writing.

_how many idiots you now tat woud babysit uther runing round like old man simmons catles and tiriying to save another idiot pendragon_

Merlin turned to paper to himself, and Gaius peeked behind him.

God, it had been worth the soft smile on Merlin’s face-wait, was his eyes clouding?

“I’m sure it’s Will,” Merlin murmured.

“Is that what you know or what you _hope_?” Gaius asked raising an eyebrow. Will saw his words hit Merlin, as he was struck for a second before he spoke.

“I _know_ my best friend whom I spent years with. Yes, it is a miracle, yes, maybe it shouldn’t be possible but… for once,” Merlin breathed voice heavy. “it’s-this is… good.” He said mouth curling up. How much time had passed since Modred’s coming and Merlin hadn’t smiled like that?

Gaius opened his mouth and then closed, critically looking at Will’s seemingly empty place. Old crone had actually gotten right where his eyes were.

He then turned back to Merlin and tugged him, concluding something Will couldn’t catch. He was practically whispering, leaning close to his ear but perks of being dead, turned out to be he had really good ears. “I understand how you must feel Merlin, it is so easy to fall for the hope of someone you lost, someone you thought was never coming back, and when they do seem to come back, you regard everything but-”

“If he was someone else and wanted harm he would have done it all along.” Merlin looked troubled.

Gaius shook his head. “You can’t know the agenda of-” Will scrambled furiously.

_you spek of uther s words_

Their attention was on him and his quill going back and forth furiously. He barely felt Merlin and Gaius both peeking on his words.

_wit his propaganda wit his hate and fear_

_uther s gost lives in you_

Gaius stood there, unblinking like the words hadn’t registered him. Merlin looked at Gaius concern tingling in his eyes.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Merlin said.

“ _This_ , this whole thing is getting you to a horrible _somewhere_ —” His face fell when he again realized Merlin’s blank face. God, there was just so much he wanted to tell, so much he wanted Merlin to see away from his fears and his dragon-fed crappy ideas, he was getting carried away with it.

Merlin re-turned the paper to him.

“I didn’t know they taught writing in the Otherworld, but it’s a good thing they did.” He smiled. “Or else you’d be stuck with your ‘I don’t need to, don’t _want to_ learn writing Merlin.’ ‘What I’m gonna do with it, Merlin?’” He prattled eyes shining. “‘We are in the middle of nowhere, am I gonna read the clouds, Merlin’ ‘I’m not going to fill my simple mind with something that’s no use to me, something I’ll never use, Merlin’ ‘No, Merlin, I’m not curious’ Guess I was right, huh?”

“Well _forgive me_ for not imagining a very possible scenario of breaking through the Otherworld with the help of my best friend’s dead girlfriend, who is a Goddess, to save my best friend, and for that, to save a legendary king because said friend has become obsessed with him and will give up on everything, who he is for a man that would have him dead. Stopping a dead vengeful king is just the addition, nevermind that.” Merlin’s face fell, expression troubled.

“Is there any way I can see and hear you?” Merlin asked, half turning to Gaius and looking at him.

“Wasn’t that your dream?” Laughed Will. “Not having to listen to me _when_ you were the one that prattled on absolute anything? You’d sell your right arm for this a few years ago, wouldn’t you?”

“It is possible, there is a… potion,” Gaius said raising his eyebrow, still reluctant to the idea. “to see and hear the ghosts used in Old Times on Samhain and Beltane. But before that," Gaius waved, sitting next to Merlin. “how are you here? Uther broke out possibly because Arthur turned back. How is that, you, breaking out it is possible?”

Will pressed his lips looking at Gaius.

_ther is not anybody you can sel or out_

_sorry_

“Will,” Merlin said half eying Gaius’ cold face and looking between them with a worried frown.

“No, no, let’s hear him, it is a full mystery how the boy knows things, if he claims who he is.” Gaius cut in sharply looking at Will’s place. “I admit I have done things I regret or others would disapprove of but you have _no right_ to judge people you don’t know, you have no right to judge people by not knowing their conditions. It must be _so easy_ to pontificate from there-”

Will knackered his fingers. To be perfectly honest, he hadn’t necessarily wanted to hurt the old man but well, he had been waiting for this for a long, long time.

He grabbed the quill.

“That’s enough, we don’t have time to fight,” Merlin said reaching out and accidentally or on purpose, his hand briefly touched his at that very moment. A sudden, a wave of like- like a current, like _life itself_ went through him with his touch and Will gasped.

He couldn’t help looking at Merlin wide-eyed, still feeling a tingling in him. It was one thing to watch him play with magic without knowing anything, it was another thing to watch him from afar doing pretty powerful and cool looking thing and it was a whole new world to fully experience his power.

The soft smile Merlin gave was as strong as the wave of life went through him. ’I don’t want to fight with you just when I got you back’ to him left unsaid but Will heard it anyways.

His shoulder’s slouched and Will was glad they couldn’t see his self-disappointment. What had he thought? That suddenly his presence would make Merlin leave 10 years of slowly built secrecy?

Will closed his eyes briefly, he was still there, and he’d get him back. He grabbed the quill slower this time.

_perks of bing friends wit a godess_

He wrote answering the main question.

“You befriended- wait,” Merlin paled. “Freya is a _Goddess_?”

_she says she is not but she praticaly is_

“Who is Freya?” Gaius asked curiously looking at Merlin. “I have never heard such a name in myths or ancient texts.”

Will watched Merlin’s apple bobble as he closed his eyes. He dug his nails in the cracks of the table. “Remember that druid girl from years ago?” he said weakly.

It took a few moments to Gaius to catch up with them.

“A _mortal,_ ” Gaius said wide-eyed turning back to Will’s place, “became a Goddess?”

_guardian actuly she is very sensitve on tat topic woud kick me now if she_

_shit she is probaby watching now_

“A Goddess, Guardian, watching...” Gaius babbled to himself, an eternal question mark forming his face.

“Look,” Merlin cut in moving on his seat, clearly distressed talking about her with Gaius around. “We have to focus on Uther’s ghost.” He turned to his mentor. “How can we make him return back?”

“Huh,” Gaius startled. “Oh, we must force Uther’s spirit to return to the Otherworld. To do that, we must use the Horn of Cathbadh to reopen the veil between the worlds. Only there can Uther’s spirit pass over. But beware, only the person who summons the spirit can force it from this world by blowing the Horn at its presence.”

Merlin sighed, bowing his head. “I couldn’t do it, could I?”

“I am afraid not. Though… your _friend_ here may know someway else.” He raised an eyebrow. 

“No.” Merlin shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “Alright,” he murmured. “How long would that potion take?”

“I can ready it fairly quickly with a… little bit of extra touch. Consider it ready.” Gaius nodded to himself eyes going over all the little bottles sitting on the shelves. 

“Is there anything I can..?” Merlin trailed as Gaius got up pulling a few bottles out and placing them on his working table.

“I may be old but not _that_ old,” Gaius said turning to Merlin and waving a cup he had his hand.

“Never said that.” Merlin raised his hands and a smile on his face he seemed to be casting around a lot more than usual -which Will _very_ liked-

“And Will you should look out for Uther.” Merlin turned back, seriousness and weary coming back on his face. “…I’ll go talk with Arthur.”

“What will you tell Arthur about your supposed friend here?” Gaius eyed.

“I-” Merlin breathed, massaging his head. “He won’t believe me. I’m not even sure if he’ll believe me about Uther’s ghost. I told him but he cut me off.”

_I m coming wit you_

He wrote. Yes, well, Merlin had a point, he had to look on Uther too but this had two ways of going: First, Will _made_ Arthur acknowledge he had been a hypocrite and Uther was unleashed, or they’d wait until someone else was hurt and Arthur had no way out _but_ to acknowledge it.

He’d like very much to go with the first one, not another person getting hurt because of Pendragon’s thick heads, thank you.

_don t wory ı ll make him belive_

“What're you going to do?” Merlin looked worriedly at him.

_not gona hurt yor precios king_

Will wrote a little exasperated.

“Let me talk first, please.”

“My lady?” Lancelot asked casting a glance at Freya, who was leaning on his shoulder, eyes dimly zoned out on the screen.

“Yes?” Freya replied mind from a thousand leagues away.

“You alright?” he asked softly. Lancelot didn’t know _how_ she had done, but the whole ordeal of breaking Will out had taken its toll on Freya.

“Hmm.” She hummed, a look of worry crossing her temple. It was making him uneasy too, the worry and sadness in her eyes.

Lancelot knew what could make her worry.

“Are you worried about the price?”

Freya pulled away from him immediately like a startled cat, looking at him mouth agape.

“I am not an expert on magic. But from my experience, there is a price to it.” Her expression turned into a pitiful one. “What is the price of breaking out of the gates of Avalon?”

Freya smiled sadly. “There is _always_ a price to be paid.”

“There has to be something we can do,” Lancelot murmured looking at the screen.

“No.” She breathed. “There is nothing we can do.”

There was an uneasy thing inside of him, as he watched Merlin and Will’s bluish ghost sit around the table. An unease, that overcame the joy of seeing his friends well again. 

“Might as well eat!” Freya exclaimed and to Lancelot’s surprise, she hoped up almost with a childish joy, completely abandoning her worried stance.

She stretched a hand parallel to the ground and without even uttering a word, without the familiar flash of gold in Merlin’s eyes, only with a flicker of her wrist, a sapling raised its curious head from the ground.

Hell.

_Hell_. He should have known Merlin’s Goddess girlfriend would be no less than him.

The fragile sapling grew in the blink of an eye to an elegant tree, and in another blink, pinkish flowers blossomed all over the leaves. It didn’t take another blink for them to turn into shiny apples.

As Lancelot stared in astonishment, Freya plucked an apple and took a bite with an echoing crunch.

Merlin knocked.

“Here we go,” he murmured and pushed the wooden door to Arthur’s chambers open. After all, what could go wrong, right?

“You knocked.” Arthur raised his head and looked oh-so-very shocked from the dining table he sat alone. “Something terrible- or a miracle must have happened.”

“A little both,” he said almost feeling Will behind him.

“It is great news if you’ve finally heard the concept of-”

“We need to talk, it’s urgent.” Merlin cut in. Arthur sobered up immediately.

“What?”

“Look, at the Stones of Nemeton,” Arthur’s jaw clenched and his eyes went cold. “I think you have freed your father’s spirit.”

“We talked about this nonsense.”

“No, we didn’t. You just cut me off,” Merlin said harsher than intended. "Now, have you looked back?”

Arthur opened and closed his mouth, frowning at him. “With the veil closed, did you watch your father?” He asked coming closer.

Arthur turned his head away, averting his eyes.“I may have taken a look for a second. What that has to do with it?”

Merlin pressed his lips together. “In that second, you unleashed Uther’s spirit.” Arthur glared at him and got up. “All these strange things that happened? The candelabra falling on the round table?”

“Yes, because the chain broke,” Arthur said walking over to the window.

“The guards at the courtyard?”

“They must have been drunk.”

“For the love of- The axe falling on Percival.”

“It was an accident.”

“Was it?” Merlin tilted his head. “And what you felt in that corridor, what was it?”

“Do you really expect me to believe that my father's spirit is responsible for these things?” Arthur turned back to him.

“The round table represents everything that has changed since you became king. You told me how much Uther disapproved. He is mad at you and that makes him dangerous.”

“I know my father. He would not do these things.” Arthur shook his head.

Merlin stopped for a second. “I fear you’re wrong, Arthur," he said, “I think he would do anything to protect his legacy. Who knows what he is capable of?”

“Enough!” Arthur shouted, “That's enough. Leave me.”

“Not yet, no,” Merlin said lowly as he watched Arthur mindlessly turn back, looking over the window. “Don’t do anything.”

“I said go.” Arthur breathed slower and almost pitiful this time.

“Arthur…” Merlin walked next to him, hoping Will wouldn’t do something stupid. “You have to believe me before he hurts someone else.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Arthur left a nervous laugh. “He made very clear he disapproves but he…” Merlin watched Arthur’s face as whatever the words he was going to say getting caught in his throat, eyes casting downwards with disappointment. “…nevermind. Why are you still here? I told you to go.”

He wasn’t getting through Arthur.

Merlin felt himself getting cornered hands tied. He didn’t want to bring Will into all of this, an _urge_ to keep this one miracle to himself as long as possible, just to keep his ghost-best-friend returning from death -and when you put it like that, it still felt impossible, like a dream he’d wake up any second- but he was running out of luck.

Moments like this, he wished Arthur trusted him.

“And you expected me to follow through,” Merlin said instead.

“Yes.” Arthur deadpanned. “That’s actually the whole point.”

Merlin opened his mouth and closed it again. He was supposed to say something now, something to change Arthur’s mind before Uther did something. Only if Will had agreed to go after Uther, damn it.

A loud clang echoed.

Merlin jumped where he stood, turning to the source of the voice. At their back, near to the room’s entrance, one of the metal candlesticks had fallen down, now twitching on the ground.

“Don’t be such a girl.” He heard shakily.

“Are you saying this to yourself or to me?” Merlin said raising an eyebrow that would make Gaius proud and turning to a very-not-scared Arthur gulping down his fright.

“Don’t be an idiot, of course I’m telling it to you.”

“Right.” Merlin swallowed down and thanking Will for doing nothing too extraordinary to trick Arthur. Despite he knew it was Will, even he had been scared with the sudden movement. “Of course, it is so normal to things just fall and attack-”

Merlin was nearly crushed by Arthur stepping on him. Arthur pushed and manhandled him away, like they were escaping from a fire.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, looking at Arthur’s wide blown eyes staring at where they were a second ago.

“I felt-” Arthur looked at him and huffed, letting him go. “You are making me jumpy.”

“Oh, I am making you jumpy?” Merlin glared. “After all it’s just an angry vengeful ghost, don’t be such a girl.”

“I sound _nothing_ like that,” Arthur said flatly.

Merlin grimaced. “That much head trauma must have done damage to your hearing too.”

“Are you calling me an idiot?” They both stared at each other.

“See?” Arthur waved. “If my father’s spirit was here, he would have killed you for insulting the king.”

“I don’t think he sees you as the king.” That, though it was not the intent, shut Arthur’s mouth as his eyes turned to the ground.

“Go.” He felt the sharp stung of pain in his heart like it was his, as Arthur walked away, putting his hands on the table and shoulders slouching.

“Arthur-”

“GO!” Merlin flinched as Arthur’s fist landed on the table with a loud thud.

At that very second, the draperies began to flap inside the room, the empty plate and utensils knock on the table, making Arthur jump back.

“Gwaine, if that’s you, I _swear_ -” Arthur said between his teeth, scattering away, frantically looking around to see some ropes. But he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Suddenly, both of them were in the middle of a hurricane.

Arthur moved right-side to snatch up his sword where it was. Merlin automatically reached out for Arthur, pulling him closer by arm, from the pillow flying right across his face. He felt the soft touch of a napkin brush past his back, and thought saw one of the chairs raising from the ground between the flying papers.

“That’s enough. Will, that’s enough!” Merlin exclaimed. For a split second as things kept spiralling around them, a thought boiled him down. What if Will hadn’t been with him this whole time, but-

Everything stopped on mid-air, falling on the ground, leaving the room like a battlefield. He left out a breath, releasing his grip on Arthur. The room… was as if a troop had walked over, everything a huge mess like a hurricane had tossed them left and right. Merlin suddenly wished Will hadn’t made such a mess, after all, he’d be the one to clean it up.

“Will?” Arthur slowly turned frowning and lowered the sword he didn’t get to use. “Who the hell is Will?”

Oh.

Damn.

Merlin gulped. So much for wanting to keep Will a secret.

Merlin opened and closed his mouth under Arthur’s scrutinizing gaze. He had slipped Will’s name for a second, and now he didn’t think he was in a point where he could come up with a convincing lie. Though he wasn’t sure his best friend somehow coming back as a ghost could be more believable than a lie he came up in a second.

“There is something you are not telling me.” Arthur narrowed his eyes as if he could see it like that.

“It’s going to sound a little crazy.”

“I think we’re past that point,” he said looking around the room in a mess.

“Do you remember,” It had been a Goddess touched miracle that Will was there, but he couldn’t even get to spend just a little time with him after all the years.“Will? From Ealdor?”

“…Your sorcerer friend?” Arthur supplemented frowning.

“He has somehow,” Merlin was _not_ dwelling into Freya now. “come back alongside Uther. He has been trying to stop him from doing harm but we can only stop Uther by using the Horn. Gaius readied a potion that could make us see them- Are you listening to me?” Merlin said angrily at Arthur’s blank face.

“So it is then.” Arthur nodded to himself. “It all makes sense. My father wouldn’t do such a thing, it must be that _sorcerer,_ ” he said, using sorcerer as if it was the crudest word possible.

Something snapped in him at the sight of Arthur’s cold eyes and harsh voice, something buried deep coming to surface after years.

“Wasn’t scolding me about the ‘evil’s of magic’ in front of my best friend’s pyre, who died to save your ungrateful ass enough for you?” The words were pouring from him like boiling water. “Now will you talk over his dead body how ‘an evil, scheming sorcerer’ he is while he is the only reason both of us stand here today, protecting the kingdom from your _angelic_ father?”

Arthur’s eyes lit and he came closer fuming. Normally the hospitality and anger in Arthur’s eyes would break his heart, but not this time.

The air shifted in the room, candles radiating warmth and light went out. Their breaths were visible under the pale moonlight, coming out of their panting chests. Everything had gone dark, shadows lurking around them. A screech came out of the pitcher fallen to the ground and Merlin glanced at water, finding ice tickling up from it. Arthur shivered mouth agape by the sudden temperature drop and his hand instantly snatched up his sword, holding it up for the unseen ‘enemy’. His head turned around the room, eyes catching the rapidly growing icicles.

Something knocked and fell to the ground away from them, where Arthur’s desk was. Arthur grabbed him by the arm and pushed him back, putting himself and his raised sword between the desk place and Will’s ghost.

“Arthur,” Merlin said teeth clattering and holding Arthur’s arm, who still didn’t let go his jacket. Arthur’s eyes frantically moved around the nearly frozen room, swinging his damn sword to the empty air as if he could stab it. “don’t be stupid.”

Arthur opened his flushed lips to say something but both of them jumped out of their skins as something, something _cold_ passed.

Damn it, it was Will but he couldn’t help flinching and staring wide-eyed with an uneasy feeling from where Arthur pushed him. Merlin held his breath as black ink painted the wall before them.

_hurt him you pay_

Arthur’s jaw clenched. “Is that a threat?”

_yes_

“Will, you are not helping,” Merlin said anxiously glancing at Arthur.

_ı am_

“No, you are not.”

“What do you want?” Arthur asked ice tinkling in his voice.

“He’s here to help us!” Merlin hissed holding Arthur’s arm and earned a brief glare from him. Arthur looked around the room and waved his damn sword stupidly to empty air.

“Be gone!”

“Be gone.” Merlin deadpanned. “Maybe you should add ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ then he’ll be gone out of curtesy. And oh, I’m sure Uther will be _thrilled_ -”

“I don’t know,” Arthur screeched turning back to him. “It’s not like my speciality!”

Something changed.

Merlin felt in the room’s urgent air choking him that something was going horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

“What?!” Arthur squeaked trying to seemingly get away from something that was holding him. Merlin frowned, reaching out to help Arthur but suddenly Will’s cold presence was squishing his arm.

“Lead the way.” Merlin choked as he gave himself to Will’s pull.

Arthur looked at him incredulous, but surrendered, running with them, Will’s cold presence on their arms as their compass.

This was his life now, Arthur thought as they ran down the castle with Merlin, one of their arms stretched out and being pulled by an invisible force.

_How_ this had become his life was a full mystery to him.

His father coming back as a ghost because he messed up something in the Otherworld… Not so unimaginable. His chest hurt -and it wasn’t because they were running like mad cows set free- remembering Uther’s cold eyes and harsh words cutting him through.

His father could be harsh and cruel at times, and Arthur himself knew deep down, somethings he’d done wouldn’t meet his father’s approval. But knowing it was so different than hearing those words coming from his father. Not that he regretted his knights, or Guinevere, or the way he lead, proven right day by day waking to a closer future he wanted to have.

But nor did it stop the pang in his chest.

A hopeful, too optimistic part of him hoped their last words with his father would be… better, if he was really here. He hadn’t wanted this, only to see him once more. You’d think the pain would fade away in time, but it still hurt the same as that wicked day.

Arthur heard Merlin’s harsh breath coming out like a cough and glanced at him. He hadn’t realized the air thickening around them like smoke and suddenly, he was having a hard time breathing too.

This was madness.

This was downright, pure madness, following a sorcerer ghost -albeit one that saved his life, as reminded by Merlin-.

…he had been too cruel, hadn’t he? He had been young and cruel and thinking- What was he _thinking_ insulting his friend in front of his pyre? Merlin hadn’t said anything, just ignoring and throwing it in. It sure could have waited for a little to remind Merlin about the dangers of magic.

Come to think of that, Merlin’s best friend _had_ been a sorcerer. And he was living in Camelot.

Merlin’s cold face seemed to pass before his eyes, one that he had been accustomed to see, unfortunately.

Merlin had changed. He had even changed _drastically_ in the last few months. He had been farther and farther away from reach with each day passing, felt like he was slipping through his fingers and all he could do was watch.

Arthur wondered how much more Merlin threw in and kept his mouth shut despite his loud chattering.

But he didn’t get to wonder too long, as they faced with the closed door of the kitchen, thick smoke seeping through the cracks.

It would have been too optimistic to hope nobody was in that burning room.

Merlin kicked the door his heart banging in his chest. He should have been quicker. Persuaded Will to go after Uther. Prevent this. He should have- The smoke filled his lungs before he could use his neckerchief as cover and his vision blurred as his eyes wet. Arthur’s cough came huskily behind him, coming from a thousand leagues away.

He squinted his eyes to spot anyone between the smoke slithering and smothering like a snake. The flames were rushing and climbing up the kitchen’s left corner, hungrily eating away but he took it in as they hadn’t been so late, after all, the fire hadn’t spread too much.

Merlin hoped they were early enough to save if anyone had suffered from Uther’s wraith.

A bubble free of smoke appeared suddenly, near the fallen cupboards.

Will was doing magic.

_Will was doing magic._

“ _Andġietan_.” He murmured to clear the air a little for them to breath, the smoke thinning, hoping Arthur would place any magic done to Will-

“GUINEVERE!”

The name rang in his ears.

Gwen.

_Gwen._

All blood drained from his body and the world began to slow down as he too saw the unmistakably purple piece of dress he saw countless times, laying on the floor, in the safe bubble Will created.

Arthur threw himself into the fire.

“Arthur!” he could shout.

Legs carried him away, running to Arthur and Gwen. He hadn’t realized how strangling the air was, till he too entered the safe bubble. How long had she been there, lying in all of this smoke and-?

The horror of _losing Gwen_ dawned on him as he half kneeled to check if she-

No, she couldn’t-

Merlin looked horrified at Gwen’s lying form. Arthur wrapped his arms around her body in a split of a second, lifting her unconscious body off the ground.

“We have to get her out.” His mouth spoke before he could think. The bubble around them began to move as Arthur took a giant step, getting in front and carrying her away. Merlin fell back face cold as stone, now even more and more aware of the threat of Uther hurting them.

This time he wouldn’t be so lucky.

Something smashed.

With a loud thud, knocking nearly half of the cupboards on the left side to the ground and the sound of pots breaking came. Merlin didn’t hesitate to raise his hand, he didn’t even _think_ about it, to the source of the voice- but his eyes began to water at that very second, as the slithering smoke hissed, surrendering them. The safe bubble had gone.

“Will?” He coughed.

A flying knife came to his vision. He could only duck and listen to the sharp sound it made hitting the wall.

“Run!” he shouted to Arthur. A brief relief came over him as he turned his eyes and saw him and Gwen in his arms nearly out of the burning room. He took a deep breath -which he probably shouldn’t have- as Arthur was out just in a second, running down without even looking back.

Merlin turned back into the misty room of smoke, where things were still falling onto their own accord, where invisible things where hitting left and right.

“Get away from him Uther,” he said. Arthur and Gwen were out now, one carrying the other to Gaius, and he should have gone with them.

But he wasn’t going to leave Will all on his own to wrestle with Uther.

Something touched his arm. It was all so instinctual as he raised his hand, pushing it away with all he got.

The fire roared. The doors closed and Merlin turned back to them wide-eyed. Something hit the back off his head at that moment, and his last thought was the realization that it hadn’t been Uther, but Will he sent away.

If a giant clock existed in Camelot, it would be about to strike midnight.

Will was pretty _sure_ it didn’t exist, because thanks to Merlin, he had been running all over the Camelot for… You see, they didn’t _have_ a clock, a miracle he started to appreciate now as he previously didn’t really think it mattered that much in the Otherworld. Ealdor was small and accommodateble not like this huge maze. Uther just sliding them to there hadn’t helped at all.

That-that wasn’t his point though.

His point was Merlin could be dead right now. He could be dead, killed- _burned_ by Uther and what was he doing, running around like a cow seeing grass for the first time in its life.

He couldn’t have fucked it up this much if he tried.

His temple crossed with worry and panic rising in him, too close to how he felt watching Merlin from the Otherworld. All those thoughts, all those words and sufferings and hair tearings and- He couldn’t lose Merlin like this, because of him. He wasn’t really a believer -though, he had been dead and saw it, so it was pretty useless to debate if it was real or not- but he was most definitely praying, hoping nothing had happened to Merlin. The thought of him being consumed by fire, the smell of the burning flesh being _him_ -

Tears were filling in his eyes.

Damn it all, damn the destiny pushing and beating up Merlin, damn the hypocrite of Uther Pendragon, damn that idiot Arthur Pendragon, damn the Goddess for planning something this fucked up, leaving everything on one man, damn everything.

Relief flood through him as he finally found the familiar entrance where he had seen Merlin and Arthur enter from.

Merlin was fine. Yeah, he definitely was, Will thought running through the empty courtyard in the faint moonlight. Merlin _had_ to be fine. Desperation was rising in him more strongly than ever as he saw someone running with a bucket in his hand to the well.

…he was fucking everything up, wasn’t he?

No news there then, a nasty voice whispered, sounding like a mix of all the voices he heard and huffed, not even aware he had actually listened to them. What good one would expect from a left out boy, blindly shooting his way in life? A burden. Another mouth to fill. And a big one. And apparently, it was because of him Merlin had left. Now Merlin could be _dead_ because of him-

You see, if this was a fairytale, as Will climbed up the stairs of the castle in desperation, the clock would have stroked midnight and Will would be this fair maiden losing his shoe. Funny thing, what they were living was too close to a fairytale with dragons and legendary kings and sorcerers.

The unseen, unheard clock stroke mid-night and Will froze where he stood.

His eyes grew wide.

That beautiful, the cleverest, most awesome-

He knew what Freya had given him and now he could only hope he wasn’t too late to use his gift.

“…will recover…lucky…Gwen…”

Merlin opened his eyes hearing her name. He tried to scramble away, one thought in his mind like a man possessed, without even looking where he was.

“Hey hey, easy, easy.” Something held him down from his shoulders, pushing him back to somewhere soft. That was when he realized he was lying on his bed, and Gwaine sitting next to him, the soft candle lights dancing in the room. “Did it really took me to go mad and start talking to myself for you to wake up?”

“Gwen?” he asked voice rough, and a couple of coughs followed that rocked him from head to toe.

Gwaine instantly snatched up the cup waiting by his bedside and gave it to him. Merlin grabbed it with hands shaking from the coughs rocking him. The cold water going down his throat was unimaginably beautiful. He managed to take a few sips without choking.

“Gaius says she’ll be fine. At least she didn’t think it would be a great idea to chill out in a burning room, that would be more like my idea. And oh, I’m _extra_ resentful you didn’t call for me. After Perilous Lands it would be like going to a picnic.” Merlin laughed, and his laugh turned into a cough in a second. Gwaine got up. His eyes were on him with concern, hands hanging on mid-air like he wasn’t sure if he should help in any way.

“I should tell Gaius,” he murmured and was out in a second. Before he could blink, Gaius appeared at the threshold of his room and Gwaine seemingly disappeared. Something seemed to lift off Gaius’ shoulders as he entered the room. It was a monotone process -and a tab bit uncomfortable one-, him coughing and Gaius’s lips thinning with everything he did.

Honestly, he was fine.

What had happened to Will, and what was Uther doing now, that, except that he was fine. A knot was tied in his stomach with the possibility of what could happen, what had nearly happened-

“How is he?” Arthur appeared, leaning on the threshold, only peeking and sulking in like a guilty child.

“Fine, fine.” Merlin waved before Gaius proclaim any doom.

“He’ll recover,” Gaius said looking at him lips pressed. “Though he should get rest. We were lucky Gwaine was able to reach you fast.”

“Of course.” Arthur nodded. “Get some rest.” He looked softly, and then turned to Gaius, gesturing the Physician’s Chambers. “Gaius, can we have a moment?”

A fire flood through him, making him sit straight up.

“You’re _not_ casting me out.”

“Merlin-”

“No,” he said meaning it to the damn every meaning, looking into Arthur’s eyes. Gaius got out of the room, turning once and looking at his sudden movement with lips pressed.“You would be dead ten times over if I hadn’t been there. And I haven’t done all of that for you to be stupid and go after a vengeful ghost all on your own.”

Arthur gave an incredulous look. “And what are _you_ going to do?”

“What I always do,” he said jaw set straight.

“Get rest, Merlin.” Arthur hesitated going out, and that was the only reason why Merlin didn’t run.

“For what it’s worth,” he said turning back to him, “I am sorry.” The sadness and sincerity dripping from his voice took Merlin aback, something squeezed in his heart. Arthur turned back and did something he quite couldn’t see from his back. Gwaine appeared smirking right there in the threshold. That was when Merlin understood what was Arthur about to do.

“I’m still coming with you!” he grunted going up after Arthur, but Gwaine was quicker to hold him down, pushing him back to his bed. The throbbing pain at the back of his head caught up with him, and it was then when he realized how tired his body had been after for how long he stayed in the smoke.

Considering he was still alive, not so much.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Merlin sent a glare to him.

“A friend then, perhaps?” Gwaine tried to smile, closing the door of his room and then sitting on the chair he used with the study desk. “Your knight in shining armour?”

“Thanks,” Merlin murmured, “for you know, saving me.”

And his mind began to sprint.

He had to find a way to stop Arthur from going after Uther like a mad donkey running free and getting himself killed. What had happened to Will? Damn, he should have known it would be Will. Merlin hoped he hadn’t hurt him, or-or Gods, what if he pushed him too far, losing him again because of his own stupidity? His heart seized. He couldn’t lose him just now. Not now, not _again_ , not like _this_. And Uther knew he had magic. And Gwen was hurt. And Will was lost again. And-

“Wouldn’t leave you for the second time.”

Startled, his focus was back on Gwaine still sitting next to him, with _that_ particular sad smile on his face, lips pressed and cheeks puffing, temple slightly crossed with worry.

“You did the right thing,” Merlin said softly, understanding what was troubling him, probably something troubled Gwaine for some time, now considering all those little things he did the past few months passing before his eyes after one and another. “You all did the right thing. Arthur’s-”

“More important than you?” Gwaine pressed his lips and huffed.

“Yes.” His lips parted without thinking, words going out of his mouth naturally. It was later when his word registered him.

…considering he hadn’t been smacked by the head for saying that, Will wasn’t there. What had happened to him? What was Uther doing-

This was driving him to madness.

“You really believe that, don’t you? And we didn’t help at all leaving you behind,” Gwaine murmured and averted his eyes.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Merlin said exasperated. It hadn’t been exactly a joyful experience to stare at the blank darkness, trying to crawl his way out while his ears turned around like a cat’s listening if any enemy was coming, all the while his mind running with the Diamair’s words, Mordred and Arthur.

He got it, though. 

“You did what was right. Besides,” he said softly.”you came back.”

“That was after happily hopping my ass out. You came all the way to, what?” Gwaine tilted his head. “To be left behind to die by the ‘friends’ you came to rescue?”

“You did the right thing. I would be _mad_ if you hadn’t taken Arthur away and came after me.”

“You think everyone except you is important.” Gwaine smiled sadly. “And we, _I_ haven’t done a good job on convincing you the otherwise, have I?”

“That’s not what it’s about,” Merlin said defensively.

“Isn’t it?” he asked. “You don’t do it consciously, it comes so natural to you to put everyone else before yourself. But well, just- You are important.” Gwaine looked in his eyes, dancing with his own. “To me, to everyone.”

The vision of Gwaine blurred a little with tears rushed to his eyes.

He had missed it.

Now he could see clearer than ever how things had changed, how even those three peaceful years had put a distance between them all, how he was pushing himself more and more inside with every passing day and Mordred’s coming, destiny’s knocking on the door turning the space between them into a chasm. There was still a lot knocking on his door, with Uther being here and Will and Artur possibly planning to go after him, and the whole dilemma of Mordred chilling a few steps apart in that very castle, and destiny, and where was Will, he should find him but he couldn’t even see him, had Gaius readied that potion, why had Freya- _how_ had Freya-

But… He could live and cherish this moment with all his heart.

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled, a weird kind of peace and relief taking over him.

Gwaine smiled back.

Arthur leaned on the table, looking at the two misty bottles filled with some foul… you know what? He didn’t want to know. He grabbed one of the bottles, turning it in his hand and shaking. Some… things danced in it. The candles weren't enough, he raised it to the faint moonlight entering from the window to see better. “Is it safe?”

“Be careful my lord, the longer a spirit stays in this world," Gaius said startled him and very comfortingly not answering his question, "the weaker its ties to the Otherworld will get.”

Arthur gulped.

He could still see Gwen’s ashened face, hear her breath coming like a growl in his arms. He could still feel the horror that dawned on him when his eyes didn’t catch Merlin behind him and saw the door closed, gone all the way down the corridor. Could still see Gwaine -for the first time, Arthur was glad of Gwaine’s weird habit of appearing out of nowhere- and hear his frantic steps behind him running back, breaking the kitchen’s door to get Merlin.

They hadn’t been too late, but he wasn’t going to take any more risks.

A part of him, a part wanted to believe William was responsible for that, of all those happenings; but not his father, all of it had been some game, some…some trick-

His debt to Will was going _massive,_ wasn’t it?

“Give this to Merlin.” He handed the bottle to Gaius, who immediately raised an eyebrow. “Not to test on him, obviously. But he deserves to see… his friend.” Gaius nodded.

“You should check if he is who he is claiming to be.”

“You don’t think it’s him?” Arthur asked pressing his lips.

“He doesn’t seem to have any ill intention,” Arthur couldn’t help nodding, remembering the pull in his arm, which inevitably -though he’d like to think his father wouldn’t do such thing with all his heart- proved Will’s innocence. “and Merlin seems… _very_ convinced.” 

“But you are not?” Arthur pressed forward.

“Such a thing is…very extraordinary indeed. I have never heard or read about such a thing.”

“That bothers me too.” Arthur frowned, thoughts he couldn’t much dwell coming to surface. “How is it possible for him to be here? Do you know some kind of magic trick,” Arthur waved. “that could make it possible? He was a sorcerer after all.” A shocked looked Gaius’ face for a split of a second.

“Our knowledge isn’t universal,” Gaius said sitting down.” “The texts written about the Otherworld has long perished and a few tales I am afraid will die with us. So it might be possible in such a realm beyond everything we know. If he really is William, someone, an inhabitant of the Otherworld,” he said in quiet excitement for his age, “he must know things we could never imagine of. His experiences would be invaluable.”

Arthur slowly nodded not quite sharing the same excitement, eyes back on the one bottle waiting for him on the table.

It was good news.

His understanding of good news was going very basic, but this was good news.

Will kept walking more freely now, as he had checked the kitchen and found the fire fizzled out by the buckets of water carried. It was a good chance now, that Merlin was in Physician’s Chambers -or thankfully he was up and right-. 

The walk to the Physician’s Chamber's was becoming surprisingly easy considering the maze castle was. 

There had been one advantage of Merlin pushing him away. Will remembered in awe how everything had obeyed Merlin’s will, no, not only obeying but as if the world was just a part of him. How naturally everything went out of his way, how solid doors and walls disappeared, how the world parted like the Red Sea when Merlin pushed him away, perhaps even further then he intended. Not the unearthly interference Will or Uther did, and although he hadn’t experienced any other sorcerers use magic, Will didn’t think _any_ of them were like Merlin. If what others used magic was like building an aqueduct to steer, Merlin was the current running free in the river, he _was_ the river. Gods-

The point was, apparently going through doors and walls if you just played with the right strings was something possible. Handy. 

Now more than handy as he faced with the closed door of the Physician’s Chambers.

Will closed his eyes and tried to go through the door, searching for a feeling close to what Merlin did. The world began tensing up around him, he was fucking this up too, wasn’t he? Frowning, Will understood it wasn’t as easy as Merlin made it seem.

With his luck -and it seemed like he had been saving his luck all his life for these days, the door opened. Will scattered back not to bump into Gaius coming out of the room. The old man didn’t sense him, too occupied in his own mind and Will managed to sneak in.

It was only a second the door closed after him.

Will’s eyes were drawn straight to Merlin’s closed do-

“Holy-” Something knocked down.

Now, now he saw Arthur staring wide-eyed at somewhere, and an empty bottle twitching on the ground. Will turned to his back, to see what had made Arthur this shocked, but met with the utterly dull door. He turned back to him frowning. Just great, amazing, as if one crazy Pendragon wasn’t enough, two wasn’t enough, now they were going for _three_.

“It’s really you.” Arthur breathed, some colour returning to his face and putting his hand on the wooden table.

Oh.

So he could see him. So Gaius had readied and given the potion. Will glanced at Merlin’s closed door, and he couldn’t help the tight thing rising in his chest, making its way up to his throat. How _bad_ was Merlin that he would let Arthur do it alone? A very vivid image of Merlin lying in flames came to his mind and another vivid image of him lying in his bed, too weak to move, too burned to-

Damn everything.

Will pressed his lips, turning back to Arthur feeling that bitterness rising in him -who it was directed was becoming too blurry-

“Oh m’l _o_ rd,” he said squinting his eyes, “should we be grateful that it only took two people to nearly get burned and one decapitated for you to swallow down your pride and your hypocrisy? Or should we be thankful we _somehow_ managed to get something into that thick skull of yours?”

Arthur pressed his lips. “I see nothing has changed from your bitterness.”

“Yeah,” Will huffed, passing Arthur and unintentionally (totally intentionally) passing a little too close to him, just enough to make him jump back shivering, “same goes for your father.” 

“You didn’t even know him,” Arthur said almost automatically but continued softer. “My father was…”

“Trying to kill people for no reason other than their sole existence?” Will said without even looking back at him. “Using magic for his own ends? Caring no more than his legacy? Sounds like the same hypocrite to me, only with a whole new layer to his madness and hypocrisy.”

Will leaned on the door of Merlin’s room, not hearing if Arthur replied to him or not, positioning his eye right through the cracks. Closing one eye, he tried to solely focus on Merlin. 

Will didn’t remember feeling such relief in his life, as he saw Merlin lying on his bed seemingly unharmed, looking at a slouched Gwaine. He squinted his eye to see closer, to spot any sign of harm done to him. His eyes moved rapidly on Merlin, trying to see as much as he could beneath the half-casted aside blanket on his lap. He looked relatively unharmed, maybe thanks to his layers of layers clothes, even his neckerchief protecting his neck. Will could only see the remnants of ash at the left side of his hair. But that was more than enough.

He was dragging Uther Pendragon to hell with his own hands.

One could underestimate what had happened judging by how unharmed looking Merlin was, but the last image he saw before he was pushed to the other side of the city, Merlin in the middle of the rising flames and slithering smoke, something sharp just flying to his head, wasn’t something that would let go of him for a long time, nor the desperation he felt as he tried to hold onto something, not to leave Merlin behind, would be forgotten.

Will backed away swallowing down. He averted his eyes from the door, turning back to Arthur. He suddenly realized how _little_ he had the chance to be with Merlin, how little they had talked, thrust into this madness. It was as if there still were a world keeping them apart.

And his first mission, the reason he came at first, was still unfinished.

“We have to send Uther where he belongs,” Will murmured.

Arthur gave a soft, almost hurtful nod. “I will.”

Will looked sharply at Arthur. He had no chance with Uther doing magic and he was absolutely _not_ dragging Merlin into this after he had nearly died. 

“And get yourself killed? No thanks,” he huffed. “Don’t take it personally though, Merlin would be sad. He poured a lot of effort into keeping you alive.”

“How _thoughtful_ of you.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Will walked impatiently. “Let’s get rid of him.”

The door creaked.

The creak seemed to echo in his ears, alerting in him. Lurky shadows sneaked in from the half-opened door. Leon’s eyes snatched to the door and his hand instinctually went to his left side.

“Gaius,” he said breathing and letting go of the hilt of his sword. Only received some weird and unclear order from a distressed Arthur, and a too distracted Elyan not blinking away from Gwen, he was a little jumpy.

Gaius straight walked to the giant bed where Gwen lie.

“Hasn’t she waken up yet?”

“No,” Elyan said, looking wide-eyed at Gaius. “Should she have?”

Gaius didn’t reply, lips pressed as he looked at Gwen’s lying form. Leon swallowed down. His eyes went between Gwen's peaceful face, Gaius examining her with a face almost impossible to conclude something from; and Elyan all focused on Gwen, slowly circling her hand. There was nothing he could do for Gwen sadly -if there was, he would have done it long ago-, but there was something he could do, for someone else.

“Elyan?” Leon put a hand on his shoulder. Elyan nearly flinched, looking at Leon as if he had seen him for the first time. “Come, let’s let Gaius do his work.” Elyan gave a soft nod and got up not paying too much attention to what he was doing.

Leon couldn’t blame him.

He dragged Elyan by the window, something to distract him even if a little. The moonlight was dancing all around the rooftops of the whole city, casting dreamy shadows over the hidden corners.

Elyan glanced back at Gwen.

“She’ll be fine,” Leon said softly.

“I don't know what I'd be if it wasn't for her,” Elyan said, voice wavering a little. “She raised me. She…”

“I know.” Leon squeezed his arm, realizing their childhood had become like a hazy dream with each day passing.

“I would have given my life for her to be alright,” Elyan murmured.

“I know.” Leon watched as Elyan’s eyes fell down; feeling his desperation, his love, the need to protect her, to see her smile and perhaps the guilt still haunting him for running away, in his heart like it was his. “But she’d want you here.”

“Could you just-!” Arthur gave an irritated noise turning back to William’s ghost. The torch he carried lit up the back of the corridor. The light from the flames invaded all the corners, casting shadows left and right. His eyes went for the shadows dancing down the hall, his heart beating fast, waiting for some dark shadow to jumpscare.

Nothing was there, except his own shadow stretching through, and William’s bluish luminescent light.

“What?” Will gave an incredulous look.

“Get into the front,” Arthur grunted, lying closer to the comfort of the solid wall, to let Will past.

“Why? Afraid I’ll stab you in the back?”

“Well forgive me,” he snapped, “for not walking like I’m going to a picnic when a ghost is following me down some deserted dark corridor.”

“Aw, is your Majesty a little scared?”

Deep breaths.

He could survive the regular meetings with lords, he could survive this too. Though now, dealing with the lords for the rest of his life looked much more appealing.

Arthur had to remind himself that William was a ghost and he owed him quite a lot not to strangle him there. “Don’t you think it would be a very poor idea to kill you when I’m trying to save you again for some mad reason?”

“I didn’t ask you to save me,” Arthur said in an instant, suddenly remembering ten years ago. Whoever he was, _whatever_ he was, that day, William had saved his life.

“Why did you even do it?” he asked more softly, couldn’t helping it.

William looked at him with pressed lips, eyes going up and down as if he was sizing him up. He didn’t answer, walking past Arthur and only turning back to him after taking a few steps. “Well, now have fun getting stabbed in the back by your father.”

Something was tipping right through the limit in him. Something building rapidly, ready to boil in a second. One more drop, a little more and he was done for it, although they had barely passed two halls to his chambers.  He was having enough of this sorcerer ghost roaming the castle for some unfathomable reason, he was having enough of his insolent ways. He was having enough of Will speaking about his father like _that_.

…but the image of Gwen in his arms and Gwaine’s frantic kick to get to Merlin came to his mind, relinquishing his anger, turning it into hissing ashes in his heart. 

“Oh, what? You think he wouldn’t do it?” Will gave a bitter laugh. “You’d trust the mad ghost of your father that tried to kill your wife than a sorcerer who saved your life, wouldn’t you? You can’t see past your prejudices. You’d trust your traitorous uncle who appeared of nowhere, whose shadiness could be seen by a blind calf, than your _friends,”_ he said looking straight in his eyes, “who have been with you through literal hells, who dedicated their lives to you, wouldn’t you?”

Arthur gulped down.

William had that special talent of voicing all his insecurities and slapping them left and right to his face.

Three years had passed since he learned Agravaine’s treachery but it hurt nonetheless. It hurt, and it still hurt _so much_ , the fact that he had moved forward and retook the kingdom hadn’t changed it. It hadn’t solved the eternal question of ‘why’. It had only gone to the box of ‘unanswered and never spoken and never thought again questions’. If it weren’t for Guinevere’s compassionate love, and Merlin standing right there with him through all, and his knights, Arthur didn’t think the emptiness in his heart would ever be filled, nor his soul healed.

One of the things that had kept him up at night once you got past the pain, was what could have happened. What had nearly happened because of his blindness. Once you saw his treachery, all those little things that didn’t add up, all those things he pushed under the rug had made so much sense, so much sense, that it was scary how blind he had become. What would have he done if, say, Gaius had died because of him?

Never again.

Now, now he was building a kingdom where he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Where everyone was listened, everyone was treated with respect and fairness, a peaceful future with his queen by his side, and his loyal friends. The future he wanted to build.

“I have made mistakes,” Arthur said keeping his calm. “I don’t deny it, and it was my fault. But we are trying to build a better kingdom, I have learned from my mistakes.”

Something flashed in William’s eyes. “And I’m sure that joke of a treaty is you ‘learning from your mistakes’. Look!” He opened his arms laughing. “I used to slaughter where you stood, but I learned my lesson now. I’m not going to kill you if you can run and hide fast enough. I’m not going to kill you if I cannot see you. If you stay out of our lives, be okay with shunned, want to live hated and ignored, then _I_ give you the _permission_ to live. Now be grateful.” He glared, raising his chin.

“That’s not what I do.” Arthur shook his head. “That’s like the farthest thing from what I do. Druids are peaceful people, I have no quarrels with them.”

“Who led them from their peaceful lives, do you think?”

“You can’t blame me for my father’s sins.” Arthur breathed.

“I see. So you didn’t give ‘rights’ to Druids to clear your conscience about that druid boy that drowned.”

Arthur could feel himself go pale.

How the _hell_ did he know that?

“I was young,” he said, and didn’t care if his voice wavered a little. “you can’t imagine how much I regret that raid.”

“You are a grown man, a king, someone holding power now, are you not?” Will cut in voice firm. “And what did you do? Signed a treaty with a couple of druids which only contains ignoring their existence, denying what they believe in, _insulting_ them-”

“I respect them,” Arthur said heating up and losing his calm. “if not, I would have continued my father’s work.”

“Oh, how noble of you,” He wasn’t sure if William laughed, cried or shouted. “for not hunting down people like animals, not drowning them as you did before only for what they believe in.”

“That’s not what I do.” Arthur walked to William, coming eye to eye with him. “I have a duty to protect the citizens of Camelot. That includes the evils of magic-”

“Oh so very evil, look, it’s making a cloud reshape and flower pedals dance, how _dare_ you associate with such evil-”

“Yes, such evil that killed thousands of people with a single spell, unleashing the hell from the Otherworld. Such evil that killed both of my parents, such evil that can take a man’s free will and make them a puppet.” Arthur stopped for a second. “You would know such things.”

A discomfort flashed in William’s eyes. “Yet here I am, covering your ungrateful backside. You wouldn’t ban all the carpentry knives because it can be used to stab someone. You'd punish the persom who uses it like that. And don’t even _excuse_ me by not seeing enough 'good side' of magic. Nobody has to make you unlearn your prejudices.” William glared. “If you are _such_ a great man, hell, if you are a decent human being, you should be able to do yourself. I don’t know what is so special about you, Arthur Pendragon, but you better be worth it.”

“It’s not that easy,” Arthur snapped. “They pose a threat to the whole kingdom, they kill innocent people. Do you have any idea how many people’s lives were destroyed because of magic?”

“How many people’s lives were destroyed because of the magic ban?” Will spoke in such speed, that shouldn’t be humanely possible.

“I know. That’s why I have made peace,” Arthur said voice firm, “with _peaceful_ Druids that don’t associate with such evils.”

“It doesn’t fix anything, don’t you get it?!” Will cried.

“I fight against sorcery and superstition, that’s all.” Arthur shook his head.

“Yet you are willing to turn on sorcery whenever it’s benefiting you.” William glared, his voice going high pitcher with frustration as he went on. “It is fine for the king to use as he pleases but oh, but don’t let anyone else use it. And don’t worry if it doesn’t go as you please, you are the king after all. The-the _hypocrisy_..! You are blind how many times sorcery saved your life. Hell, the reason you are born is sorcery!” Will shouted throwing his hands up.

The words seemed to echo in his ears, an echo of the long-ago years.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He frowned.

An echo, born of sorcery… Arthur shook his head to himself, he had misunderstood or misheard with the speed Will was talking. 

Will opened his mouth to reply.

“My lord?”

Arthur jumped back. Startled, he turned.

“Sir Percival.” He managed. Percival was standing behind him, holding his firmly wrapped shoulder and eyes going all around the corridor, and then the same eyes turned to him in concern. 

“You alright, my lord?”

Oh.

What a sight that must have been, the king arguing to himself in a dark corridor.

Arthur’s eyes fluttered. He should have been more careful if it had been someone else but Percival… Let’s just say he didn’t want to think about it too much. He could not afford the rumours of ‘Camelot’s new mad King’ ‘the madness of Pendragon’s continue’ with so much hanging on, with the so close threat of Morgana and war. 

“I’m perfectly fine,” he said flatly.

“Of course,” Percival said as convinced as one could possibly be. “I heard there was a fire.”

“It’s taken care of, you should rest.”

“You sure..?” Percival trailed.

“Yes.” Arthur waved his hand. Percival nodded along, made a move to leave but then to Arthur’s luck, decided not to. “It’s probably nothing but… I had felt something before. Like some presence. Could it be a magical attack?”

“We’ll be alert.” Arthur nodded, praying inwardly to just go. “Thank you for your attention.” Percival gave a soft bow, and this time left for good.

“Not another word,” Arthur breathed through his lips.

“Or what? You’d behead me?”

“The idea looks very appealing at the moment,” he murmured, walking as fast as he could to get to his chambers without getting into another shouting match with Will in the middle of the corridor. 

“Hmm, such unfortunate I’m already dead.”

This was it.

The moonlight entering from the window fell on where he hid the horn, like a celestial sign to ‘do it already’ shining whitely on the flipped over bowl, in so much contrast to the warm candle lights of his chambers. 

Arthur walked towards the etagere, and without hesitation lifted the bowl, revealing the ancient horn on the wooden shelves. He never should have dipped his toes into magic, as if he hadn’t learnt his lesson in the most painful way.

The horn looked so fragile like that, not showing the slightest hint of the terrifying power it possessed. Magic was like that too. Such power in one man, such potential of destruction in one person… 

He could almost hear Will’s impatient walking behind him.

Arthur picked the horn up.

A strangling sound came from his back the second his fingers curved on its form. Almost a painful cry, almost like someone was been tortured. Arthur jerked back.

Nothing seemed to be wrong, except for William’s ghost was trying to lean on one of the chairs, eyes shut in pain. As if it was possible, his blue colour had gone lighter.

“You know what?” Will managed to screech, holding his side and shaking. Arthur took a step to help him somehow but stayed awkwardly as Will screeched away from his touch. “Change in plans.”

“What?” He frowned, couldn’t help the worry rising in him despite he wasn’t a fan of William -he was the _farthest_ thing from that-. They couldn’t change plans, not when his father was posing such danger.

Arthur tightened his grip on the horn. Will’s face went even more light as he did so.

“Don’t-” He managed, waving one shaky hand, trying to point something-

Oh, the horn.

Arthur put the horn down back.

Will seemed to relax, the abnormal bluish returning to him.

“Alright.” He nodded to himself, looking on the floor. “Yeah, no problem. Cool. Cool cool cool. As I said, change in plans. I have to take care of something before you blow that. I don’t think-” Will closed his eyes. “I-I have to take care of _that_ first, and then…”

“You’ve gotta be joking.” Arthur deadpanned. “Weren’t you the one telling me to hurry?”

“Look, I haven’t come all this way from heaven to see your pretty face,” William snapped. “I haven’t even had the chance to talk with Merlin.”

“Then go and see him, who is the one holding you?” Arthur frowned.

“My God- If I hadn’t known Merlin was a saint, I would be fully convinced right now. Put your arrogance aside,” Arthur pressed his lips together, readying himself for round two. “for a second and think, what chance would you have against a ghost able to do magic?”

“I have fought with magic for years-”

“You didn’t fight shit.” Will glared. “People fought for you in the shadows and gave you the recognition because it meant their death if it was found out, however noble their intentions were.” 

“Enlighten me then.” Arthur opened his arms.

“You honestly think I would serve him to you in silver platter? Decipher the person, when he doesn’t want to come out?” Will huffed. One person then, Arthur thought, and wondered if Will was talking about Dragoon. Dragoon was a riddle wrapped up in a mystery.

Had he really tried to save his father as Gaius claimed?

“It would be his decision to say.” Will kept on. “Besides, why would _anyone_ trust you? Believe me, beheading and hunting down people like him, and being the person that could rip his head with one word isn’t a comfort. So don’t you _dare_ to fault him or get angry if he decides to tell you.” Arthur wasn’t sure if he was squeezing the chair that tightly with imagining it was his throat instead, or just trying to stay up. “I won’t give you rest in this world, nor the other one. And-” His expression faltered. “Don’t do something stupid. If you die, I’ll kick your ass back to the Land of Living.”

Arthur couldn’t help his frown. Why was their quarrel suddenly turning to a goodbye speech?

“Treat Merlin better.” William looked in his eyes. “He is a great man, far greater than you can imagine. He deserves the whole world, treat him like that.”

“And-and the thing,” Will waved his hand. “you can’t imagine how hard it was to just watch. I guess my shoutings were heard from all realms, except this one. The thing with Gwen and Lancelot?” Will raised his eyebrow and everything went cold in Arthur’s blood, reminded the unspoken past incident. “You all blame magic for everything but didn’t blame magic for once and it actually _was_ magic.”

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, a horrible feeling knotting his stomach, a dawn of where this was going.

“Lancelot wasn’t the Lancelot you knew. He died at the Veil, his soul had already passed to the Otherworld. Morgana used magic to control the image of him, tearing a part of his soul. She commanded him like a puppet,” Will spat, “and enchanted Gwen to fall in love with Lancelot.” His hand went to his wrist, Arthur could only watch it hypnotized. “Her bracelet. It was enchanted. _She_ was enchanted. She couldn’t resist, couldn’t fight, couldn’t- she doesn’t even _know_ she acted under a spell. None of it was her will. Morgana did it to prevent Gwen from raising to the throne. The whole thing was orchestrated by her and that little creepy faced aggravating cockroach.”

A strangling cry came to his throat and Arthur closed his eyes.

That was… _a lot_ to take in.

Guinevere’s tearful eyes came to his mind, her trembling lips covered with her shaking hands, and the rapid headshakes repeating ‘I don’t know, I don’t know’ over and over. 

She really hadn’t known.

There was a pang in his chest, becoming the only thing in his world. How _horrible_ it must have been, everything ripped apart by something she couldn’t even control. Standing there, thrown to the ground, kicked out of her home, and all the while it wasn’t her fault.

And Guinevere didn’t know it wasn’t her fault.

Like a puppet, a victim. And oh, he had right played into Morgana’s game…and Agravaine’s. He had tried to break them up far before that too. It was crystal clear, how hadn’t he _seen_ it? Why had he let them ruin everything?

If their roads hadn’t recrossed, if he hadn’t seen Tristan’s grief, if it hadn’t been for Merlin-

No, their relationship was not the only thing.

Her life could have been ruined. And it nearly had.

To that date, he still didn’t know all the details of what she’d gone through. Did she still blame herself?

He hadn’t even _thought_ about the possibility of magic. He hadn’t even- So happy and grateful to have Lancelot back, didn’t ponder in too much like all those miracles in Camelot. And then too angry and hurt to see anything.

It hadn’t been Lancelot, nor had it been Guinevere.

Lancelot came to his mind, his -apparently his shades- corpse lying. That wasn’t the Lancelot he knew, that wasn’t the Lancelot he spared with, fought with, laughed with. Nor the one he saw kiss Guinevere was the Lancelot that sacrificed his life in Arthur’s place. It hadn’t been the Lancelot he grieved for, that betrayed him.

The bravest and most noble person’s, his friend’s memory tainted, his body _used_ -

A wave of trembling anger took over him. For everything that had happened to poor Guinevere, everything that could have happened to her; for Lancelot’s memory ruined, his legacy tainted…

Everything for a damned throne.

“Hey, uh,” He heard Will speak with hesitation. “although I might kinda blame you for everything, this-this isn’t one of them. One of your dead friends comes back, more than a little shady but… I get that. Everyone wanted him to be alive so much that you were ready to overlook the impossibility. A little more trust to Gwen when she stood by you all the time and was suddenly put into a very dangerous position making her open target of Morgana? Could have, perhaps should have. But, well, from where you stood… It didn’t look good.”

William was coming to say ‘It’s not entirely your fault’ but Arthur knew that wasn’t true. The moment when he walked on Gwen and Lancelot kissing in Council Chamber, where he found-

Where he was led by Agravaine.

Gods, Arthur covered his face with his hands.

All the pieces fit so _perfectly_ _._

“She deserves to know,” he said voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” William softly replied, “Yeah, she does. So why don’t you go and see her?” William cheered. Startled, Arthur turned his eyes to him. “…Or you could stay here and evaluate your whole life?”

Why did he want him gone?

“What are you planning?” Arthur squinted his eyes.

“Oh you know, the regular evil scheming sorcerer stuff.”

“Very funny,” he said flatly, zoning out on the table where he had dinner with Guinevere. A very vivid image of Morgana’s eyes fluttering gold as she enchanted Guinever’s bracelet, as she uttered dark arts to raise Lancelot came to his eyes. How had they come to _this_? Why had Agravaine done all of that? How had-

How had Morgana become this?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw William reaching out for the horn, and Arthur leapt that very second instinctually. William stumbled as Arthur touched the horn, but managed to send a murderous glare to him. What was he trying-

William stretched out a hand to the dining table.

He barely saw the jug flying straight to him.

It must have hit his head. The world began to spin, pain radiating and consuming him in the dark bliss creeping. His father seemed to whisper ‘ _never trust a sorcerer’_ , before his body hit the ground and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I altered the canon a little but tried to keep scenes as much as parallel to the episode and canon.
> 
> Before anyone asks, yes, I am aware of mistakes in Will's writing. I did them on purpose. Hopefully you'll understand my intent in the next chapter.
> 
> My own interpretation of magic, the Otherworld and Merlin being magic doesn’t match with the canon at some points but for this story, I thought this would be the best *totally wasn’t inspired by String Theory in Physics* Hope everything makes sense in this world.
> 
> It is my exam week (don't ask me why I am posting this know, ask the sudden urge) so it may take 2-3 weeks to upload the new chapter.
> 
> Be sure to subscribe!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to use some religion-related things like the Triple Goddess, and I tried my best to keep it in canon’s perceptive. Apologies in advance if I have included anything offending. 
> 
> There were two parts that were directly inspired by panharmonium’s metas. I have those parts explained and respective meta’s linked in the End Notes. Be sure to check out her works!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

“Thank God,” Merlin grunted between his teeth, relief flooding through him seeing Gaius come in. His fingers stopped restlessly tapping on the bed. 

He had to get rid of Gwaine somehow -preferably by not breaking his heart- but damn if he wasn’t stubborn and subtly warding off his attempts to send him elsewhere. It had probably been only a candle mark or two but he was _this_ close to snap, patience running little each second. And he would have snapped if Merlin thought it would work on Gwaine. Softly murmuring a spell had crossed his mind but with Gwaine watching him like a hawk, he wasn’t sure even if the blindness of the Camelot knights could save him.

Not that he didn’t want Gwaine’s company, in fact… He had dearly missed it. He had missed Gwaine’s blatherings about a tavern -one surely existed in another realm for such things to be possible-. But there wasn’t time for that, not when so much was at stake. He had to go out there, his instincts screaming at him to protect Arthur and find Will. 

He _had_ to find Will. He had to make sure he hadn’t done something irreversible. He had to save Arthur from his own stupidity. There was no time to listen to his nonsensical stuff, sit there lips pressed while Gwaine awkwardly laughed at his own jokes.

Gwaine and he would have all the time in the world after he found what he was looking for, right? 

“Gwaine,” Gaius said, turning to Gwaine as if they had a telepathic conversation, “you should get rest too. There is no need for you to wait here.” 

Merlin nodded along, this was exactly what he needed. His luck seemed to be turning pretty great, these days.

“Ah, you see,” Gwaine said, “Princess ordered us to stay with Merlin and Gwen until the fire’s investigation is done.”

“This just _had_ to be the one time you actually follow orders, didn’t it?” Merlin murmured.

“Princess is not the reason, it’s the excuse.”

“As his Physician, Merlin needs to get rest and you being here will do more harm than good,” Gaius said, voice firm. Gwaine opened his mouth to say something but Merlin managed to send arrows with his eyes, turning his possible protest into a smile. 

“Don’t forget to call me next time you decide to do something utterly Gwaine’ish,” he said, getting up. 

“Who else could I go?” Merlin tried to joke, but his joke turned and slapped him instead, freezing his smile. Who _else_ could he go? 

With seeing Will again, all his wounds of lost friends had started to ache stronger. Once, he would have gone to Lancelot. And look where that had gotten him. 

“I’ll be here.”

Merlin startled, back to reality, and realized Gwaine standing near the door of his room, turning once last time before he left, walking to—

“Gwaine?” Merlin said, sitting up straighter. Gwaine stopped and turned back to him, standing on the threshold. The dim light from the other room was casting a dark shadow around him. Something crushed in his heart. 

“Thank you. For everything,” Merlin blurted out.

“You too,” Gwaine smiled and closed the door.

Merlin stared at the face of the closed door, where Gwaine had disappeared. 

“It is finally happening. I have finally gone insane. Just great.” 

Merlin threw the thin blanket away. He didn’t have time to get emotional, not when such danger was looming over them. His ashen boots were at the foot of his bed. Did he need to look for Arthur first? Or find Uther? Or find Will? Or check on Gwen? 

He reached out to his boots but Gaius stopped him.

“I meant what I said. You need to rest.”

“I can rest when I’m dead,” he grunted, tying the laces of the boots.

“Merlin,” Gaius said sharply.

“Do you think Arthur would last a second facing Uther without me?”

Gaius pressed his lips, handing the bottle to him. He grabbed it and tried not to think about the smell came out as the stopper opened with a pop. Gulp it down in one go, that was the trick. 

He’d had far worse.

Far, _far_ worse. 

But it didn’t help his cough and grimace as the foul potion went down his throat. They couldn’t make potions with honey flavours, could they? Something nice, preferably honey-flavoured, or at least something which did not taste like donkey feet.

He got up and the world began to spin. The only thing that stopped him from falling down was his hand holding onto the bedpost. 

“Fine, fine,” he waved to a very concerned Gaius as the world stopped. Uther had really tried to suffocate him with all he got. 

“Did you give the potion to Arthur too?”

“I had to. He asked and knew I had readied the potion,” Merlin cursed himself for being that stupid and slipping it. “There was no answer I could give why I wouldn’t.”

“Alright,” he said walking to the door of his room and leaning close to it. There weren’t many choices left. 

Through the cracks, he could see Gwaine sitting on one of the chairs he had talked with Will. It was dim inside, utterly boring for Gwaine but he seemed to be thinking something, zoned out with an unsettling sad expression on his face.

“ _Swefe nu.”_

Gwaine’s eyes closed and his head slowly fell on the table. Merlin backed up, now free and ready, opened the door. 

“Be car—” 

A loud thud came. The door of the Physician’s Chambers flew open. He raised his hand and Gaius flinched back. 

Merlin’s eyes went wide, his raised hand began shaking seeing Will for the first time in ten years. 

It was agonizing to take steps.

It was absolutely agonizing and Will could only hope he had found the correct place.

“It’s really you.” He heard Merlin say like coming from thousands of leagues away. Will tried to answer him, say something, what was the thing he thought he’d say? 

“Merlin…” he managed faintly. Everything was becoming blurry, the horn he held consuming all the rational thoughts, consuming _him_.

“Will?” Merlin’s voice wavered. 

Will tried to keep his head steady. He blinked, seeing two, or suddenly Merlin had grown a second head. “Merlin…”

“You alright?” Merlin said coming close, obvious worry painting his face but Will could see none of it. Somehow the world had suddenly gone underwater. The constant humming, calling, pulling was so strong— 

He was dying again, wasn’t he?

Suddenly an arm pulled him off from the strangling waves.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Will came face to face with Merlin. “Did I do something?”

“No, not you. Nothing.” He gulped averting his eyes. Merlin had the talent to read him like an open book and the last thing he wanted was to worry Merlin. His eyes fell on Merlin’s arm that was on his. The soft-touch on his arm, the life radiating from that was balancing the pull of the Otherworld. 

Will didn’t think he had time till Samhain. 

He doubted _anything_ could be more powerful than the Horn’s call, even Arthur’s contact or his own contact was unbearable. He didn’t want to think how strong it would be once Arthur blew it, reopening the Veil.

“Will?” Merlin’s wide blown eyes were circling him with such worry, such fright, squeezing his arm more tightly with every second like he would never, ever let him go. Funny thing, it really was working to ground him.

“Just-just... take this.” He held out the horn. Merlin took it right away without any question and his head began to clear.

He could see Merlin clearly now, who looked like was about to cry and collapse, or shout with joy before he descended into the air with happiness. 

Gods, he had missed him. He had missed Merlin being in his reach; not in another realm, not in some other kingdom he had no way to contact but there, with his arm reach. He could even see the tears shining in his eyes.

“It’s good to see you again,” Merlin whispered.

“Yeah, you too,” Will said something rising in him, something even sweeter than the life warming him through his arm. “Still skivvying for Arthur Pendragon, right?”

Merlin gave a choked laugh.

“In that case, come with me.” Will put his hand on Merlin’s hand that was still weirdly half going through him. He felt like a soft fire that sweetly warmed your fingers after a long workday in winter. “We don’t have long.” 

Merlin’s brow furrowed and eyes watered the second the words left his mouth. Will nearly cursed himself for his word choice. His mouth slightly opened, the grip breathtakingly tightened on his arm—

“Maybe not-not that short.” He managed trying not to crumble under Merlin’s ‘you’re not going anywhere’ hold. It would have been sweet if it wasn’t so painful.

Merlin withdrew with a jump. “Sorry.”

“No problem, but we are a little tight in the schedule. We should put our time to good use.”

He would fix things for Merlin before the end for him.

“Uther,” Merlin breathed painfully. “Where is Arthur?”

“Not that. We have something more important to do. Leave the Horn on the table.” A question mark formed on Merlin’s face, but he still took a few steps and put the horn across Gwaine’s sleeping form.

A cup of water, some alone time and a bed. That was all he needed, he knew what to do next. Lucky thing, each item was in Merlin’s room. Will grabbed and pulled Merlin to his room, but was stopped in two steps by Gaius standing on the threshold, arms crossed. 

“An explanation?” Gaius raised his eyebrow, looking at Merlin. “Only a three-worded one so I have an idea what is happening?”

“Its… It’s him,” Merlin said, but mostly seemed to be saying to himself instead, “it’s really him.”

“He has brought the Horn, I see,” Gaius said lips pressed, “but why are you putting it down? Doesn’t he want to send Uther back? Wasn’t this the plan?”

“Merlin, no offence, but could you tell him to just _shut up_?” Will gritted his teeth. “Or swap places with me if he thinks I am doing a so horrible job. Let’s see him juggle all of this and I can get a rest.”

“It of course is, that’s what he said too but—”

“That’s not what I said!”

“— now we have to do something urgent. You have to trust me.” Merlin got ahead of him, clearly had understood where he wanted to go. Will followed him inside the room and couldn’t help his little smirk as Gaius frowned, stepping down watching Merlin go to his room.

“Wh—”

“Yes,” Merlin said turning back and holding the half-closed door, “but we have to do something first. Just trust me. And don’t wake Gwaine. Goodbye!”

Will turned away to the window to hide his chuckle as Merlin closed the door on Gaius’ face. He could imagine his weird frown as the door closed. 

Now was the time to focus. 

The bed was check, alone time was check, all he needed was a cup of water…which laid right there on Merlin’s work table.

“What’s this important thing?”

“I have something to show.” Will didn’t turn back to Merlin as he answered, taking the cup and placing it on the nightstand. That was an as good place as any. 

“C’mon, get in the bed,” he gestured to the bed, still looking at the cup. He didn’t need some kind of special water for this, right? Just a regular, drinkable water would be enough, right?

“Sorry, what?”

He turned to Merlin. 

“What what? Just get in the bed,” Will said sitting down on the floor. The bed creaked next to him as Merlin sat on it. 

“Get comfortable.” He waved, eyes still on the water trying to figure it out. “Lay down.”

“I assume we are not going to have a rest?” The bed creaked further as Merlin lay. “Ah, that would be _super_ nice, I… I missed you but we have to stop Uther,” he finished more seriously.

“This is more important than that,” Will murmured.

“What’re you gonna do? Why did you bring the Horn? And what was happening to you?”

“To prevent your idiot of a king running around trying to desummon Uther and get himself killed,” he replied dodging the last question. 

“And he just… accepted it?” Merlin raised an eyebrow.

“A jug to head can solve all oppositions. Now watch,” Will said before stretching a hand over the cup. With a deep breath, he began.

A visual image of what he was supposed to do came before his eyes. He tried to feel the water, tried to feel all those little strings he could pull, wrapping around his fingers. The little strings began to wind around his hand, fitting like a glove. He stretched his fingers, trying gently if he could make them follow him, not pushing too hard. The water obeyed his will, stretching out of the cup fluidly. And now only he had to turn it—

“Damn it!” The water splashed back inside the cup, with a too-quick movement of his wrist.

“Do you want me to..?” Merlin trailed.

“No, I have to do this. I _am_ going to do this.”

“It is weird to watch you do magic. But I am glad you can feel it now.” Will turned back to him and Merlin gave the brightest of smiles. “The world is beautiful.”

“Believe me, what you do is different. It’s like… I don’t know how I can describe how it is different, because it feels… so different. I alter with it but you, it is as if the whole world is a part of you.”

“I couldn’t even feel the magic in the pendant or ghosts running free.” Merlin huffed and his face fell. 

“Can you feel your liver? Or your brain? You can’t feel them separately because they are so woven with you. I guess it might be something similar,” Will shrugged, returning back to the cup.

He sat straighter and leaned on the cup more. Slow and steady, that should be the trick. He began again, trying to feel the soothing embrace of the water without actually touching it. The strings winded around his fingers, and he could feel their gentle pass on his fingertips as they tightened around his hand. 

He slowly raised his hand, pulling the water out of the cup. The water gulped out and Will immediately froze his hand. With a gentler flicker, he watched in awe as the water began to spiral around itself. There was some natural flow to it, as the water split into three branches and spiralled around themselves. Each spiral was still connected to one another, coming from the same centre. The conjoined spirals began to curve inwards, how the water was still keeping its flowing form like a river with an unseen endless supply was a mystery to him too.

“Wait, is that the druid symbol? Triskelion?”

“Yes, but no,” Will said. With another flicker of his wrist, the apexes of each spiral connected. The water began to flow on its own without his further interference, hanging on mid-air. “It isn’t just the druidic symbol, it is the Triple Goddess; the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. Or in our context…” He gave a beat for a dramatic moment as Merlin looked at him with a frown, trying to solve the puzzle.

“Past, present and future.”

Will reached out to the centre of the Triskelion. His point finger briefly touched it, but that was enough. With a splash, he jerked back as the water wrapped around his arm like an octopus.

The water dissipated on his arm.

“Close your eyes now, and think nothing.” Will waited for Merlin’s eyes to close and watched his regular breaths for a few seconds. He leaned on the nightstand and tried to find a comfortable position. 

Will closed his eyes and the flowing Triskelion appeared in his mind. As the spirals in his head began to turn, he gently wrapped his hand around Merlin’s wrist.

A lulling melody -suspiciously sounding like Freya’s- called him into the sweet arms of sleep.

“Come on sleepyhead, it’s time to wake up.”

Merlin opened his eyes.

And closed it back the second he opened it. The rapid change from night time to whatever that blinding light was had hurt. A soft breeze caressed him from head to toe, and now more aware, Merlin heard the ruffles coming, felt the soft grass dancing around his fingertips, the warmth of the sun on his face. 

He squinted his eyes and got up. Will was- He broke into a grin seeing him solid and colourful again, not like a giant smurf. Gods, Will was waiting on foot next to him, head excitedly turned to the world around them like a small child. He had never thought he’d see him again yet there was him, with his regular village clothes, with nature surrounded them, it was all so familiar.

Merlin's eyes followed Will's, curious about what they were doing, what was this important thing, they didn’t have time to sleep and dream—

His heart began to beat faster, or the world seemed to slow down, seeing the unmistakable scenery.

Sun shining on the sky. 

A few children running there and there.

A small village.

Just a few fields. 

A couple of cows.

Nothing special.

But not for him. For him, every little damn thing about it was special. 

“Wh—How?” he managed to get up, all coherent thought left him. Small cottages, small cottages with brown roofs that they used to spend ages to repair was standing before him. The wind blew, making the leaves hush, carrying children’s laughter to his ears. Even the ruffles from the leaves were exactly the same.

Ealdor.

He was in Ealdor.

He was in Ealdor _with Will_. 

An incredulous laugh left his lips. If he could pretend for a second, it was just like the old times: A nice summer day, and he was out with Will.

Was this a dream?

His head snapped around the world, trying to consume every little detail in this dearly missed world. His wide blown eyes turned to his back. The spot right caught his eye, the same spot where they sat and talked after he came from Camelot, the same spot he talked with him for years. Then he saw something that quite shouldn’t be there: the giant oak tree at the background. It was barely visible from where he stood but it was right there, roots coming out of everywhere like the whole world was built around it. He had been so used to the bald emptiness in its place, but it was standing right there like he hadn’t-

“Where are we?” Merlin looked at Will. “How-Is this real?”

“The question is _when_ are we,” Will smirked and Merlin frowned further. 

_When_.

“Wait, wait.” Merlin held up a hand. “You are telling me we _time traveled_?!” 

As the words left his mouth, the sheer impossibility sounded even more stupid to his own ears. 

“Not exactly. We are at the past." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a movement on his left, something coming out of the forest. "But we are not _in_ the past.” 

“What’s that supposed to m— Oh… my… _God…_ ”

Probably Will had caught him there because there was no other way he could have had the strength to stay up seeing that.

A small boy had emerged out of the forest, happily hopping to the village with a flower crown on his head. The pinkish flower pedals were sitting on his wild black curls. He was no taller than an average six summers old boy. Beneath the clothes that looked like three sizes bigger than him, it was clear how skin-to-bone he was.

“That’s,” Merlin managed, throat dry, “that’s me. That’s—It’s—It’s mini-me. That—that _thing_ is child Merlin.” He shakily pointed the boy who was cluelessly hopping his way to the village. “How is this—Why are you laughing?” 

“Oh,” Will wiped his laughter tears, “I have forgotten how _adorable_ you were.” 

“I am _not_ —I might have to stop for a second,” Merlin said, legs giving in and he collapsed on the ground. 

“Was this too much? I should have probably given a warning,” Will murmured.

“No kidding,” Merlin said flatly, watching the boy mesmerized. Seeing himself like that, a clueless child hopping around… Hit him, was an understatement. He had forgotten he had been this innocent child once, with no worries and destiny and an axe hanging on his head. Just a child. Running and playing with Will deep in the woods; all he had in his mind was Mother, Will and the harvest. He had missed that. He loved Camelot, and Arthur and all his friends but… Everything had been so _simple_. Everything had been so easy, so joyful. He had only been this child, not Emrys, no grand destiny; when his biggest fear had only been making his mother upset. 

“Aw, isn’t that Merlin?” Merlin startled, focused back on his child version. Other kids had seen him come out of the forest and now some older kids were circling him. Little Merlin quickened his steps, trying to walk away.

“Had a lovely tea party deep in the woods with your hares and dormice, hadn’t you?” A boy laughed, reaching for his crown. 

“Leave me.” Little Merlin shied away from his touch.

“Oh no, is our little princess sensitive?”

Time had blended his life in Ealdor into one giant hazy memory. But this particular scene was undeniably familiar… He turned to Will, heart beating fast. 

“Isn’t this how we became friends?”

“It is.” Will gave a soft smile, sitting next to him. Merlin couldn’t help the laugh that left his lips.

“How is this possible?”

“You are not the only one with handy tricks now, are you?” Will smiled, but his smile faded away almost instantly. “It’s Freya, actually. When I said I watched everything about you, I really did. Freya had a monitor to see the Land of Living and she shared it with me.” Merlin cast his eyes downwards.

“I guess she gave me the knowledge to use something similar when I broke out.” Will shrugged. “But this time, not to monitor the Land of Living but to see and travel through time when one is unconscious, a state closest to death and Spirit World. I don’t know _how_ she did it, though. We can’t interfere with anything, we are simply here to watch.”

“How…” Merlin gulped. “How is she?”

“Good,” Will said simply and even Merlin tried to read more from his face, he couldn’t, “she is good. And happy.”

“I’m glad.” Merlin breathed, weight lifting off his shoulders. “She deserves it.”

“You deserve it too.” Merlin looked at Will, who was looking at him with some kind of weird determination.

“Hey, Rudolf!” 

With the shout, his eyes were drawn back at himself who was now very cornered by the kids. A boy appeared out of nowhere, marching to the group.

“And here comes the village’s saviour.” One of the girls from the group said, rolling her eyes.

“Look, it’s you!” Merlin exclaimed and pinched Will’s arm in excitement. Will replied something along with the lines of ‘I know’ and ‘this is embarrassing’.

With baggy clothes mended so many times that there was hardly any trace of the main cloth, the Will before his eyes was small. Hell, Merlin was now realizing Will was shorter than all the kids including him, but that of course hadn’t stopped little William from straight marching to the group, chin held high. 

“Leave him!” he said coming near to the boy, who had been kind of the group leader who was cornering Merlin. 

It looked ridiculous. 

True, Merlin remembered how he had practically swooned over Will after this, but now, looking at Will stand after 5-6 kids who could tower him and were at least three summers older, it looked absolutely ridiculous. 

“Come now,” the boy smiled. “Or what will his Highness do?”

“Or I’ll fight you!”

“Come on, then.” The boy backed up a few steps, opening his arms. “Come on. ”

Little Merlin looked like he was debating if he should intervene or not, but also looked so scared to do anything.

“Come oooo—” Will jumped to everyone’s surprise and landed a solid punch on Rudolf. Merlin couldn’t help laughing, throwing his head back. 

Rudolf cried in pain, _actually_ started crying covering his face with his hands. 

“Oh my God, look at you.” Will elbowed him. “You look like I slew a dragon.”

“Well, I was quite impressed,” Merlin said watching his younger-self stare at the whole scene in a mix of astonishment and horror. 

“WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?”

A young girl -if he remembered right she was 16 or so-, harrumphed to them. Gods, he remembered her -and fearing her-. She’d put her hands on her hips and shout at the top of her lungs at whoever caused too much trouble. She grabbed Little William who was staring at crying Rudolf not sure what to do, by the ear. 

“Ow, ow!” Will cried as she shoved him aside. 

“I turn around one second and you punch someone!” she shouted as she threw Will away. “You are a nightmare! Go play on your own.”

Will, still holding his ear, glared at the girl but didn’t say a word. He simply marched away as he came. 

“Rudolf, let me— Don’t be a big baby, let me look.”

Little Merlin now out of the first shock of the situation, took advantage of the distraction eyes going quickly over Rudolf and the girl. With tiny but fast steps, he turned to the village. Just a second, anytime he could—

His child self stopped midway and ran after Will. 

“Let’s follow him—me,” Merlin said, dragging Will up. He knew what would happen, but this, watching it now, reliving these moments was something else. It was making his heartbeat in excitement, igniting sweet feelings he hadn’t felt for a long time, even if he knew word to word what was going to happen. Not in a million years he’d thought he’d see Will again yet alone reliving their childhood. It all had become a memory but now everything, the life once he had and cherished with all his heart, was before his eyes.

It had been too easy to catch up with himself just a little outside of the village thanks to how tiny his steps were. Little Merlin stopped when he came to the threshold of the forest where Will was.

“Thank you.” He walked up to Will, looking at him wide-eyed. 

“No problem,” Will said walking, not even turning back to look at Merlin. He leaned down and picked up a wooden sword from the ground. The sword was as long as his own arm, but he was still somehow managing to hold it. 

“Thank you,” Merlin said again. Will stopped and turned to Merlin as if he had seen it for the first time.

“It was nothing.”

“No,” Little Merlin’s eyes shone, “it was _amazing_!”

“…Thanks?” Little Merlin’s expression turned into a troubled one, as soon as Will answered him with reluctance. A silence stretched. 

“This is so awkward,” Will murmured, “why did you say ‘thank you’ twice?” 

“I didn’t know what to say!” Merlin exclaimed, “You had just punched this kid for me.” 

“…Why did you do it?” Little Merlin said, voice small.

“They were being mean.” Will shrugged.

“But _why_ did you do it?” he asked, crossing his arms as if to protect himself. 

“…Because they were being mean? And you were not standing up for yourself. They are bullies, you should stand up to them.”

“It is not good to get attention.” Little Merlin averted his eyes. That seemed to grab Will’s attention.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stand up for you,” he said looking at Merlin.

“Why?”

“Because,” Little William began explaining dragging the sword with him, “it is good to stand up for people who can’t stand up for themselves. A knight should protect others.”

“A knight?” Merlin whispered, quite in horror.

“I will be a knight!” Little Will shouted, raising the sword up, pointing the sky. A smile crept on his face remembering Sir William of Deira he came up with. That was the least he could do for him.

Merlin hoped Will had watched that too. 

“Oh God, why did I think this was a great idea?” Will grunted. “This is embarrassing.”

“Come on, it isn’t. I have forgotten how _adorable_ you were.”

“Shut up,” Will grunted, but his little smile wasn’t missed by Merlin.

“Why would you want to be a knight?” Little Merlin asked, looking baffled by the idea. “Knights are scary, you are not scary.”

“Knights are scary to bad people.” Will narrowed his eyes. “Are you a bad people?”

“No. Of course not. Why would I-”

“Then you are good.” He shrugged. “Knights are good, they protect people. My father is a knight, I know these things.”

“Then why do you live here? Aren’t knight supposed to live in castles?” Will opened and closed his mouth.

“…He isn’t a knight yet. But he is friends with the lord! The lord will make him a knight.”

“That’s… nice. I hope he becomes a knight soon. If you think knights are good, then it’s nice. No, I— I mean, knights are obviously good.” Little Merlin uncomfortably moved where he stood, looking like he was debating if he should go or not. 

“Was I always this awkward? Was I— Don’t laugh! Was I really this awkward?” Will tried to hide his laugh but wasn’t so successful.

“I hate you,” Merlin murmured.

“No, you don’t.”

“Who _are_ you?” Little Will asked wide-eyed. 

“My name is Merlin.” Little Will nodded and silence fell.

Alright, he might or might not have been a little awkward, stuttering nonsense but he hadn’t been _that_ awkward. He had only been baffled a little by this whole deal of ‘friendship’. Merlin had never had any friends other than Will. 

Lonely perhaps, but he had been happy.

Merlin wasn’t sure if his mother was happy about this or not, sometimes she’d look at him funny and encourage her to speak with other kids, but sometimes she’d restrict him and tell that he was very special but others (mainly Will) couldn’t know how special he was. He remembered being baffled by this, but well, now to think about it, he had been absolute rubbish at hiding his magic as a child. Even now, his fear of knights had shone through their whole conversation. 

“…And I am William.”

“Oh, right!” Merlin left a nervous laugh. “William.”

“Let’s play!” Little William exclaimed, being once again their saviour and saving them from another awkwardness. “I’ll be the knight. And you can be the princess in the tow-”

“I’m not a princess.” Little Merlin huffed. 

“Fine, then I’ll be the knight and you’ll be the evil sorcerer holding the princess hos-”

“Why do sorcerers have to be evil?” Little Merlin said, lips starting to tremble. “Why can’t knights be evil? Why—”

“Fine!” William shouted. “You good sorcerer, me evil knight. Can we just play now?”

Little Merlin opened and closed his mouth, looking at Will shocked. He knew what his younger-self was thinking, baffled by how easily Will had accepted it.

He had been distracted. He had totally been distracted.

Will attacked, and Little Merlin just jumped away at the right time.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“I am the evil knight, remember?” Little Will smirked. 

He still remembered this, playing with Will for the first time. Playing with his first friend for hours… There was this sudden urge to live these moments again, moments long forgotten. It was an urge similar to a starving man. He had been blessed with a miracle, and he was going to use it to every damn bit.

“Is there a fast-forward thing?” Merlin asked Will, “I want to see everything.”

“Let me look,” Will said closing his eyes. 

For a split of a second, nothing happened. Then, things started to move fast. _Really_ fast. The sun crossed half of the sky in a matter of seconds. Little silhouettes appeared on the horizon, people coming from the fields.

Will’s eyes opened and everything stopped.

“Huh. I see there’s one,” Will said, turning to the silhouettes and looking at the nearly set sun. “Controlling it, however, will be a pain. It’s weird. I didn’t intend to go this much.”

“It’s alright,” Merlin said. He was living this miracle, he didn’t care if they jumped a little too much when he got Will after 10 years.

Little Merlin’s eyes snapped to the people coming.

“I-I have to go,” he stuttered looking at Will. “It was fun, thanks.”

“Maybe we can play again tomorrow?” 

“Yes.” Merlin gave the brightest of smiles. “We can.”

“So, see you tomorrow?”

“Bye!” Little Merlin waved to Will, who looked like he would keep playing for some more time and he ran to the village. 

“Come on,” Will grabbed him. “Let’s follow you.”

They managed to keep up with his younger self’s running with walking. 

“Mum, MUM! I made a friend today!” Little Merlin jumped all the way to Hunith, clutching to her skirt. 

Oh.

It was _this_ part. He had forgotten it. 

“Skip this part.” Will turned back to Merlin.

“What?”

“That is good, my dear.” Hunith smiled.

“Let’s just go.” Merlin tugged Will. 

“-and then we played knight and sorcerer. I was the _good_ sorcerer.” Merlin smiled, somehow managing to show both O’s with his little mouth.

Hunith froze where she stood.

“What about telling me about your day when we get to home, Merlin?” 

“Alright, wait, Merlin,” Will stopped him, forcing him to look in his eyes. “What did she say?”

“Nothing,” Merlin averted his eyes. He hadn’t been expecting his mother to scold him to be careful and keep his gift hidden when he had been excitedly telling about his first friend. 

He got it now, though. 

“You know, the usual,” he shrugged. “She has always been a little too protective than other mothers.”

“Perhaps the reason why is other mother’s don’t have an all-powerful warlock child knocking out trees. You even had my heart stopped there.”

“Can we go to that?” Merlin asked wide-eyed, “Please, can we go to that?”

Will threw his head back, his laugh echoing. “I wish we _could_ interfere. You’d flatten that old man this time and save us the trouble. But consider it done.” Will smiled. “We are going to jump big this time, hold on to me.”

Merlin reached out to him and understood why he should when the world blended together moving with a dizzying speed. Instinctively, he squeezed Will’s arm tighter as his stomach said “no” to the idea. 

It would be worth it though, everything would be worth reliving the moment he told Will about his magic.

“…I want to do something…”

“No, Mordred…”

Her whole body seemed to be one giant pain source.

“…you. How’s your arm?” 

Gwen tried to open her eyes.

“…ine.”

“…a bad luck on us…”

“No,” She tried to get up frantically. It wasn’t bad luck, it was an attack. “it’s—” A cough rose from her throat, her lungs growled and took the words out of her.

“Gwen!” She heard Elyan cry, and in a matter of seconds, someone was helping her to sit upright.

“Ah!” Gwen cried, sudden pain flouring to her. “My leg!”

At that point, she wasn’t sure if the pain or the damage in her lungs had taken the breath out of her. 

“Go get Gaius!” She barely saw Leon run to the door, ordering the guards outside.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you are not.”

“Elyan, I’m fine,” she said, “I should—”

“No, whatever it is, you shouldn’t.” Elyan put another pillow behind her. 

“Thank you,” she breathed more easily. Beneath the covers that hid her leg, the pain seemed to get better. “I should—”

“Here, drink it.” Gwen had no choice but to take the cup as Elyan shoved the cup to her hand. She slowly took a few sips and then lowered her drink. 

“It wasn’t an accident. We are under attack.” 

The air in the room shifted immediately. Leon’s hand automatically went to the hilt of his sword, she could feel Elyan tensing next to her. Mordred, for whatever reason was in her room, looked like he was jumping on his feet to finally do something, but trying his best to look worried.

“Do you think it’s a magical attack, Your Highness?” Percival asked coming closer from the shadows.

“Yes.” Gwen frowned, remembering being dragged down by some invisible force. “Do you know anything?”

“I…felt something. Like someone was watching me.”

“Like a cold presence,” Gwen completed him. Percival gave a nod. “From the looks of it, you too have been a victim of it,” she said, looking at his wrapped up arm.

“An axe fell.” 

Someone -Morgana- was targeting them sneakily. She remembered with a shudder how the candles went out.

“I was dragged into the kitchens and then locked in.” Elyan sucked a deep breath next to her.

“We have to sound the alarm bell,” Leon said, eye half on the door.

“Wait.” Gwen felt Elyan uncomfortably move next to her, casting his eyes downwards with a troubled expression as if he had just smashed mother’s favourite pot.

“Elyan?” Elyan looked at her, and after a brief hesitation, he spoke. 

“I don’t think this is a magical attack. Not like the ones we know.”

“Then what is it?” Leon asked baffled.

“This is going to sound a little crazy but… I think they are spirits.”

“Spirits?” Mordred exclaimed wide-eyed, “But it’s not— oh.”

“It’s not what, Mordred?”

“Wait,” Gwen hushed Leon, “Elyan, how do you know that?”

Glances were cast along the knights, save for Mordred, who was looking around, trying to fit in. Gazes were averted when she tried to make eye contact with any of them. As the knights silently communicated, she could relate to Mordred looking at everyone with a frown. 

There was something they were hiding from her. 

“So, uh, when you were… away,” The implication wasn’t lost on her, nor the short glances shared. Gwen tried to keep her face as straight as possible reminded of what she did. 

“I kind of got possessed,” he finished sheepishly smiling. 

“You _what_?” 

Elyan tried an innocent smile. “A little possessed.”

“I leave and you immediately got possessed.” 

“It wasn’t my fault,” Elyan cried and pointed out the other knights, “blame them. If they hadn’t taken my water in the middle of the forest, I wouldn’t have drunk from that druid well—”

“Your Highness, we—”

“Elyan, I told you, only drink from the well in the town. You get so sick that you lie in bed for days like the other time or apparently you get _possessed._ ”

“My point is,” Elyan waved. “I have been feeling… this feeling for the whole day, and I had brushed it off thinking I was making things up but it’s too much to be a coincidence now. After that druid boy possessed me, I think I got sensitive for spirits. It’s different this time, but they are spirits.”

“They? Do you know who they are?” Elyan closed his eyes. 

“I… don’t know. There are two of them,” he nodded to himself, “one of them feels urgent.”

“Urgent?” Leon frowned.

“We are apparently dealing with ghosts, except them to be a little different,” Percival shrugged.

“Urgent in what?” Gwen cut in. “What is it plotting?” 

“No, no. It’s not like that. It wants to save something, I… I guess there is something it loves and cares about someone here. It’s urgent, feels like trapped and… I guess it _is_ trapped. The other one, on the other hand, is so _angry_ , it makes me… sad,” Elyan said, and his face fell. 

Gwen had no idea what was he experiencing. Her mind was half on what had happened in Camelot when she was banished. If the spirit had used Elyan, just right after she was banished, it could have been a very suspicious situation for him. 

If that had happened, she was even more indebted to Arthur.

“How did you get rid of the spirit last time?”

“I can’t say that.”

“ _Elyan._ ”

“That’s a question you have to ask to your husband.”

“What does Arthur have to do with— Wait, where is Arthur?” Her heart crushed. “Is everyone alright? No one besides me and Percival was attacked, right?”

“No.”

“You are all terrible liars.” Gwen pursed her lips. “What happened?”

“What do you remember?” Elyan asked carefully.

“Elyan, tell me now.” She didn’t more words, a glare and sending ‘tell me now’ message was enough to crack Elyan.

“It’s nothing severe, when they got to rescue you Merlin got locked in for a short time,” Elyan finished quickly, seeing her face fall. 

Gods, Merlin— 

“He is fine now, in fact, he woke up before you. Gwaine’s with him. His greatest suffering at this moment is Gwaine’s blatherings.”

“Your Highness, what shall we do?” Gwen gulped and got herself together. She had to do something to prevent anymore else getting harmed.

She looked at Leon waiting for an order.

“Gaius is already summoned. We will wait for him and get his insights on how we can fight them.” The knights gave small nods. She had got used to this, slipping in and out of the Queen and friend role when necessary. 

Gwen hoped to see Merlin, the guilt of being the cause of his hurt eating her inside but there would be no way to get past little-mother-hen Elyan. 

“And Leon,” she added more desperately, “please find and inform Arthur.” 

Leon gave a firm nod before leaving.

He was getting a hang on this. 

Time was stretching before his eyes, past events were no more than a hill he could walk to. Scratch that, he didn’t even need to walk, he could make the ground slide beneath them, past events coming to him. All he had to do was to remember them. 

This had to be it.

Will opened his eyes. It was nearly night time now, with a full moon on the sky.

“You good there?” He turned to Merlin, who was looking as if he was sick. 

“Yeah,” Merlin replied shakily, “Let’s find them—us, I mean.”

“Who cares about grammar and vocabulary?” Will said as they walked towards one particular opening in the forest. More specifically, one oak tree. Though it was night time, he didn’t need to pay any attention where he was going, it seemed that his legs still remembered the route. It had somehow become their spot over time, they could almost be invisible from the outsiders with the thick trees surrounding it, yet stay close to the village if Merlin’s mum searched for him. Merlin -as usual with his over the clouds head- had claimed it to have some mysterious “connection”.

“I care.”

“Of course you do,” Will snorted.

“Well, we saw you. I was right, huh, wasn’t I? Admit it. I was right. You were just too stubborn. And you needed it, didn’t you? If Freya hadn’t thought you how to write, you would go mad trying to communicate with me.”

“I would have found a way,” Will murmured.

“No, you wouldn’t have. You’d wave your hands in front of my face and I’d stare into nothingness. You’d go mad and haunt us all. There’d be legends about the crazy ghost of Camelot. You are lucky Freya knew how to write. Druids aren’t usually comfortable with passing down knowledge by writing, most of them don’t know it, you are lucky. I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that she’d know. You are damn lucky. On the other hand, if you _had_ listened to me, just a little attention, just a little less ‘I don’t need it Merlin’s’, a little less ‘what am I going to do Merlin’s’—”

“I didn’t learn from Freya,” Will blurted out. Damn it, he should have left at “Freya taught me” but one thing he forgot: sometimes Merlin’s prattling was infuriating. 

“When did you even learn to write and read then?” Merlin laughed but sobered up immediately, stopped and looked at him with dead eyes, “Don’t tell me you knew it _all this time_ —”

“I learned after you left,” Will said. “There was this traveller passing by that owed me.”

“My God, I can’t believe you. I begged you for years and you learn from a passing traveller?! No wonder why your writing was illegible,” Merlin murmured. “Why now, suddenly you decided it wasn’t ‘not for simple-minded farmer’ like you?”

“To reply if you wrote to me,” Will replied turning away, hands in his pockets. He hadn’t wanted Merlin to learn it, but the conversation had started once.

“…Oh.”

Something tightened in his throat. This was why he didn’t want Merlin to learn. 

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said voice wavering and Will turned back to him, meeting with his wide blown blue eyes like a kicked puppy.

“It’s alright. You didn’t even know I knew and with all those things—” He shrugged. 

“No, it wasn’t,” Merlin cut in, “I should have— God, there is so much I should have done. You don’t know how much I regret not… not spending more time with you.”

“Oh come off it now,” Will said angrily, “we used to spend every day together. Even I was sick of myself. It’s no big deal.”

“I was never bored with you, there could never be enough. And then you—” Merlin closed his eyes in pain. “I would have done everything to write if I had known.”

“I know. As I said, it’s no big deal.”

“Don’t make this less. It is. You learnt _writing_ for me. And I—”

“And you, don’t think about blaming yourself. Hell, I shouldn’t have told you. You blame yourself for everything. This is just an unfortunate turn of events, that’s it.” 

A silence stretched between them before Merlin spoke.

“…You didn’t think I didn’t care about you, did you?” 

“Why would I even _think_ that?” Will said incredulously. 

“I never received anything from you. If… If you thought I didn’t care because I left, had to leave, without a goodbye -which is I am so sorry about- and waited for me to write first—”

“For the love of! I didn’t where you were,” Will shut him, “I knew you had left but I didn’t know where you had gone. Your mother… She didn’t tell. I don’t know if she thought I’d specifically go to Camelot to rot you out for a bag of coins. She never liked me anyways." Will shrugged.

Merlin shut his eyes, with obvious sadness and pain painting his face -which he didn’t like, at all-.

“Come on, let’s go.” Will hooked his arm through Merlin’s. “This is turning depressing. It’s supposed to be happy.”

He dragged Merlin with fast steps to get him out of this bad mood he caused. He was supposed to make this one happy trip, a little talking about Mordred at the end, and then part happily. The last thing he wanted to do was make Merlin upset. 

The roots and leaves used to be a problem before, Will knew this first hand because Merlin had the special talent of tripping on his own feet, nevermind sneaky roots coming out of everywhere at night. But now, this wasn’t a problem. They could walk through them straight away.

The giant oak tree showed up and as soon as they turned to the other side of the tree, Will saw their younger selves. Not so young now, looking somewhere around twelve or thirteen but still so young. 

“You know,” Will said, “let’s get to the other side, just in case. I don’t want to be under this tree when it falls down. Considering your babblings about how it was ‘connected’, I don’t want to take any chances.” 

He basically had to drag Merlin to the other side and they both sat down.

“Come on, be happy.”

“I am happy.” Merlin turned and gave him a teary smile. Will averted his eyes, looking at their younger selves. Hopefully, this would make Merlin’s mood better. 

And remind him what he had forgotten too lost in destiny, Arthur and Camelot.

“Yes?” Younger Will said crossing his arms. He was sitting down and leaning on the tree comfortably, whereas Merlin was basically pacing. “Why am I here at midnight?”

“There—there is something I should say,” Merlin said, stopping and looking in his eyes. “I always meant to say, but I never have. Sorry by the way, for waking you this late but it will be safer. She’d say what I am doing is the opposite of safe.” Merlin gave a nervous laugh. “She says I shouldn’t but I-I can’t do it anymore. Will…”

“What’s wrong?” Younger Will frowned, sitting straighter. He remembered the utter confusion, Merlin’s incoherent words worrying him even more and waking him up. “You know you can tell me anything, you know, right?”

“I know,” Merlin breathed, and started pacing again. “I know but she says I shouldn’t, she thinks you won’t understand. I’m just so sick of this, I want to— Just imagine how good it could be. She is wrong. I’m not going to listen to her. Then if… If you do that, then I’ll… You won’t do it, I know you. But you think you know me, but you don’t; maybe I think I know you, but I don’t—”

“Merlin,” Will cut in.

“I am not making any sense, am I? I had practised this,” Merlin muttered.

“Whatever it is, just tell me.” 

Merlin gulped, looking in his eyes. “Alright. Just, don’t tell anyone. Obviously, you wouldn’t, once you— I have magic,” Merlin blurted out and looked horrified the second words left his mouth. 

Will opened and closed his mouth.

In his defence, it wasn’t every day his best friend told him that he had magic. It had taken a few seconds for the words to register his sleepy mind. Another few, to form some kind of response as his mind screamed “Say something!” seeing Merlin’s wide-blown eyes. 

A twig snapped before he could say something.

Young Will jumped on his feet, getting in front of Merlin. Merlin sucked in a deep breath and scattered back. Both of their eyes were drawn to their left. Out of reflex, he too had turned to his back, looking where the snap came from. The darkness stared back at them. Even now, he could still feel the horror as he stared into thick leaves, that gave nothing. Even now, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

Young Will slowly walked backwards to Merlin. 

“I think it was just an animal,” he whispered. With a slow wind, the leaves hushed.

“That creepy old mole,” Merlin muttered next to him and Will chuckled. “Look behind my shoulder in a few seconds. ”

While both of their younger-selves were focused deeper into the woods, chests going up and down rapidly, Will saw a hand -which looked like a part of a skeleton than a living man’s- reaching out to younger Merlin out of the darkness.

Merlin screamed as bony fingers brushed his back. His younger self barely had the time to turn to Merlin, who crushed into him trying to run away. Suddenly both of them were on the ground. Merlin tried to scatter up from him, eyes resembling a chased dear.

“WHO’S THERE?” Merlin’s eyes shone with fear. 

Will still remembered the shudder he felt as he saw Merlin’s eyes burned and the tree cracked as if it was struck by a lightning. 

A scream -which was thankfully not theirs- echoed as the tree fell down. 

“If you look closely,” he said to Merlin who was sitting next to him, “you can see the moment I swore I’d never anger you.”

Younger Merlin finally managed to get up but looked like he was about to fall again any second. Will grabbed Merlin’s arm and pulled him back. 

They both stared at the fallen tree.

“I-I did that. I killed someone,” Merlin whispered frantically.

“…No,” Will managed. God, he had questioned if he was in a dream or not staring at the fallen tree. 

“We should help him, maybe he is not—” Merlin gulped. Will stopped him, eyes on the moving leaves. 

“What?”

“Wait.”

“We sh—” 

“AGH, COME HERE!” Merlin’s face went whiter as the old man shouted from where he fell.

“Doesn’t sound dead to me,” Will backed up, “run!” 

The leaves moved, and a silhouette rose beneath the leaves. Merlin took a step towards the man.

“WHEN I CATCH YOU—”

“Run,” Will hissed, pulling him, “run!”

“Old crone,” Will grunted from where he sat, looking after their younger selves running like their life depended on it-and it totally did- to the village, “he ruined the mood.”

“He slaughtered the mood, didn’t you see me? I was so terrified.”

“Yeah, I got that part when you _crushed_ that mortal without uttering a word.”

Merlin laughed. “I must have scared the hell out of you.”

“No, to be honest, that man scared me more. I was… shocked.”

“Shocked?”

“Simply put,” Will said weakly. The old man brushed the dirt off of him and squinted looking at the village’s direction. 

“If _you_ had knocked a tree in front of me, I would be something more than shocked.” 

“Lucky you, then. Come on, let's follow.” Will got up and gave a hand to Merlin. The bad mood he caused seemed to be disappeared judging by the constant smile on his face. 

They started to walk after Simmons. The village was dead quiet except for the old man’s harrumphs with every step he took. 

“If Simmon’s hadn’t shown up, what would you have said?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t know. I knew you weren’t joking, you are not that good of an actor and a liar.”

“I, in fact, am a very good actor. Ten years in Camelot, right in the castle.”

“That has to do more with the intelligence level of Pendragons than your acting skills. Anyways, I—”

“WAKE UP!” Simmons shouted, standing in the middle of the village. “WAKE UP EVERYONE!”

Doors started to open with grumblings rising. The door of Merlin’s home opened. Hunith appeared and Merlin was peaking behind her. Will too got out of his own house, very casually leaning on the door, trying his best ‘I just woke up’ look.

Matthew came forward with a candle in his hand. “What’s wrong?”

“There is a devil among us!” 

“Father? What happened?” A woman ran to the old man.

“A monster tried to kill me! He tried to crush me, the tree fell on me! There is only one person it could be. That boy!” Old Man Simmon’s shouted, pointing Hunith, or more likely, someone behind her. Will could see now how her shoulders tensed, her face hardened as if she was going to battle. 

“I am not going to let you accuse my son based on your feverish nightmares.”

“Your _son_ is the devil’s son. He is an ill omen. He always has been, I should have known when the red knights came after that man you—”

“That’s enough, Simmons,” Hunith cut in, voice sending shivers down his spine. In contrast to how sweet she seemed normally, she was now looking more like a warrior that would fight to the last drop of her blood. “It is no secret old age has caught up with you, and that is the only reason I am tolerating you right now. If you do so to continue, I won’t be responsible for whatever happens next. Ruthie, please take your father home, he clearly had a shock.”

Simmons marched to Hunith eyes glowing, perhaps thought he could intimidate her, which proved itself to be a huge mistake. 

Hunith, seemingly out of thin air, pulled out a sickle. 

“If you come any closer,” Everyone, including Simmon’s froze. “Or continue speaking ill about my son, I swear I’ll finish what the Goddess has started.” 

“Alright, alright,” Matthew shouted. “Everyone calm down. And Hunith please put that sickle to… I don’t know where you got that put it down, please. There clearly is a misunderstanding here—”

“There is no misunderstanding, that boy—”

“So,” Matthew spoke louder. “We can speak and solve our issues.” 

“There are no issues to be solved. It is simple as that, Merlin tried to kill me.”

“And you expect us to believe your nightmares?” Younger Will said, with the impulse of saying something as the old man kept speaking about Merlin. 

“What would you know, boy? You can go and see if you want to,” Old man pointed the forest.

“Yeah,” Will huffed, “an old tree fell, how _mysterious_ , how _extraordinary_. It must be the work of a thirteen summers old boy. What a devil, must be him. Not mother nature and a little amount of bad luck, clearly.” He hadn’t seen Merlin looking desperately at him the first time he lived it. 

“How _dare_ you— How did you know it was an old tree?” Simmon’s squinted his eyes. 

Everything went dead quiet. 

“Maybe it is you instead.”

Younger Will gulped. 

He remembered trying to look calm -and he definitely succeeded in that- but if anyone had come closer a step to him, they would have heard his heart racing in his ribcage. 

“No, Will—” Merlin began, but Hunith immediately shut him, half closing their door taking advantage of the distraction.

“Maybe it is,” Younger Will said looking directly at Simmons’ eyes. 

“I couldn’t believe you said that for me. You basically threw yourself into the line,” Will turned to Merlin and saw his soft smile.

“That made up for my lack of reaction.”

“Or maybe it isn’t,” Younger Will shrugged. “Maybe it is just that I have a little logic and have seen, like all of us here, old trees sometimes fall because of root rot when a strong wind blows.”

“And you expect me to believe this?”

“Sounds more reasonable.”

“I should have known!” Simmon’s hissed. “Your father would sell his soul to the devil to be a high man, I shouldn’t be surprised you too would side with the—” 

“Simmons that’s enough.” Matthew broke in before Will jumped on his throat, holding Simmons’ arm. “There is no need to get dirty. Ruthie, why don’t you get your father to your house? He needs some rest after this shock.” The woman guided her still grumbling father to their home. 

“And why are you here still?” Matthew turned around the village. “A fallen tree isn’t our biggest struggle against mother nature. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

Doors shut one by one, with last small glances to Will’s cottage, until there was no one left. Will remembered shaking for a few seconds, leaning on his closed door. His racing heart was the only thing that filled his empty cottage. Because of the fear, or the anger, he didn’t know.

“What did you tell to your mother?” Will asked, remembering Hunith.

“I told— Come and see instead,” Merlin started to walk to his house. They passed through the door like it didn’t exist. 

Inside the little cottage was dark. Under the moonlight, he could see Merlin sitting on the floor with an ashen face, still under the shock of the quickly escalated situation. He drew the blanket to his chest. 

Hunith sat next to him lips pressed.

“I didn't mean to do it, I didn’t want to— It was a mistake. I, I don’t know what I did…I am not a monster, am I?”

“Of course not,” she said, face softening almost immediately. “Do you remember that time you caught a cold because you have been out feeding animals in winter?”

Merlin gave a teary laugh. “That was stupid.”

“No, my boy. That was the purest thing I have ever seen. You have a beautiful gift, but the world does not appreciate it as it should. You have to be more careful. Promise me, you’ll never ever sneak out of home again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Now, Merlin, I want an explanation.”

“I was alone,” Merlin blurted out. “I just wanted to practice, thought it would be safer at night.” 

“Huh, so _I am_ the only one you can’t come up with a believable lie against.”

“I told you I had it in me to live this much in Camelot.”

They sat in silence for a few beats. Hunith reached out for his hair, caressing his head.

“You’ll one day have the chance to practice and learn, I promise,” she said, with a softness he had never heard from her. “You have to be careful. You can’t let anyone know.”

“Why can’t I?” Merlin turned to her.

“People are afraid of the power they don’t possess. They don’t understand the beauty of your gift. I am sorry it has to be like this, but you can’t let them know.”

“What if it doesn’t have to be like this?” Hunith stopped and lowered her hand. 

“Is this about that friend of yours, William?” She pressed her lips.

“You heard what he said there, why can’t you trust him?”

“And that is the reason. He doesn’t know when to shut his mouth, Merlin. He draws too much attention. Even now, he somehow managed to get himself in the middle of this. Though, for once, his big mouth came handy.”

“Your mother _really_ didn’t like me, did she?”

“No, it had nothing to do with you.”

“My mouth is still a part of me,” Will murmured. 

“Give him more credit than that,” Younger Merlin said. 

“I think we should leave now.”

“I can handle a few words your mother will tell,” Will huffed. “Besides, at this point, I am curious what more she has in store for me.”

“Merlin,” said Hunith looking in his eyes, “he is a troublemaker. He is a walking trouble. His father is obsessed with becoming a knight and is too cuddly with the Lord. God knows what father and son might do if they learn about you.”

“What,” Merlin said horrified, “you think he’d _sell_ me?”

“I am only saying that I don’t wish to learn.”

“That’s…wow,” Will managed. He knew Hunith didn’t like him, but he hadn’t thought _this_ much.

“I’m sorry.”

“What on Earth are you sorry for?” Will turned to Merlin, trying not to show the little hurt he felt hearing Hunith’s words. “You said we should go, I stayed. Let’s go now.”

They passed through the walls as they came. 

Will lightly shook his head as if he could forget her words like that. He had to focus. Though it was so heartwarming -apart from the kind words he just heard- they had spent too much time in the past. 

The more they spent there, the more Uther had the chance to hurt people. He still had many issues to solve.

“Will?”

“Hm?” he said startled.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” Will frowned, looking at Merlin.

“Everything. And there is something I owe you.”

“You don’t—”

“I am truly sorry I left without a word to you. I should have found a way to give an explanation, to talk with you. You can’t know how much I regretted it once I realized I could never talk with you again.”

“Yet here I am,” Will smiled, but Merlin’s sad expression didn’t falter in the slightest. “Merlin, it’s alright.”

“No, it was not. You heard my mother, she… You heard how scared she was. And once she learned I had told you, and you had known for years, that I lied to her, she was beyond furious. Before the dawn, I was on the road like you would rat me out that day as if you had waited for years.”

“Love and fear is a dangerous combination, it takes all the rational thought out of one. I understand, and I want _you_ to understand.” Merlin frowned by his words, but Will kept on. “There is one more thing I have to show you, remind you, something from Camelot.”

“…Okay,” Merlin frowned, holding onto his arm. 

Will closed his eyes. Memories started to fly before his eyes, figures and laughters and cries blended together. They were everywhere, and nowhere. Golden eyes and wide smiles—

Something hit. 

Will opened his eyes with a startle, losing the control. It almost felt like there was a giant rock where he wanted to pass.

He looked around, they were still in Ealdor. Though the time had clearly passed. A thin layer of snow had started to form on the rooftops. Will frowned. Why couldn’t he pass this time? Why were they stuck in this? He closed his eyes again and tried again to feel the flow of the Triskelion.

It was like they were frozen.

“I can’t pass this. Why can’t I pass this?” He closed his eyes again, trying to move forward. “It’s weird…Almost feels like it’s blocked.”

“Maybe there is something we should see here?”

“What on Earth could it possibly be?” Will murmured annoyed. Of course, the Goddess would try to stop him talking about Mordred, wining back Merlin and altering Her plans. It felt like there was no escape from the Goddess’ pawn. 

No matter how much he tried, no matter what he did, he was a grain of sand trying to fight the sea.

“Someone’s coming,” Merlin pointed a horseman galloping to the village. “Whoever that is, I think She wants us to see this.”

It wasn’t frequent that they had messenger coming to Ealdor, Will tried to think an event that the Goddess would want Merlin to see. Considering the destiny, an event that would trigger Merlin’s fear but he could think none. 

The uneasy feeling in his stomach grew as the horseman became more visible. 

The horseman reminded of someone too much, not someone he knew but someone that came and went as brief as a butterfly. He hadn’t forgotten it, nor he could ever forget.

How _could_ he forget it, after all?

His stomach clenched. 

He hated the Goddess and her fucked up plans. Now even more so, as She was forcing him to relive the moment he received the news of his father’s death. 

Why did he always got knocked out?

Arthur opened his eyes with a grumble, hand going to his head. At this point, he really was growing a thick skull. The world around him got clear after a few beats. The cold emptiness of his chambers welcomed him. 

Just great, William’s ghost was gone. He was all alone in his empty chambers laying on the ground, his father’s ghost roaming and assassinating his loved ones, he didn’t know if Gwen was alright or not whom he owed a very big apology -even if it wasn’t enough- for nearly destroying her life, he didn’t know how he was going to process the truth about Lancelot, he didn’t want to think how else he had been tricked, he didn’t know why William had knocked him out, what he was planning, and he could _bet_ right now Morgana was scheming something.

Arthur got up and kicked the stupid jug away.

Deep breaths.

First, he had to take care of his father’s ghost before he seriously hurt perhaps killed someone -the very thought squeezed his heart, surpassing the throbbing pain in his head-.

Arthur turned back, where he had put the Horn. 

A very shiny, very _empty_ shelf welcomed him. 

He blinked for a few times stupidly, waiting for the Horn to appear. 

Of course. 

Of course, and there he had thought why everything was so perfect going so smoothly _._ Arthur buried his head between his hands with a grunt.

William had no doubt knocked him to get the Horn. But why would he do that? 

Not to stop Arthur, right? He wouldn’t be helping his father, right?

…right?

His heart began to beat faster, with the possibility of two ghosts roaming the castle that one clearly could do magic -Arthur tried not to think much about the possibility of his father doing magic for his own sanity-.

But-but it didn’t make any sense why William, a sorcerer, would help _Uther Pendragon_ of all people?

A voice whispered if that would be too impossible, would it be hard for William to trick him, especially considering Arthur’s rich history filled with deceivings. He hadn’t seen it coming from the ones closest to him, blind to Morgana and Agravaine for _months_. Unhelpfully, the truth he learned about Gwen and Lancelot came right to his mind—

The Horn. 

The fucking Horn, he had to find that before he lost his sanity.

Arthur tried to focus on where William could be, where he could have taken it. He had said something about Merlin and spoke as if it would be their last talk. 

Suddenly, with a thought, everything got clearer and a weight lift off his shoulders.

Of course, whatever magic William had done to come along his father, the spell would be broken once he desummoned his father. Will must have gone to Merlin, knocking him out to gain some time. 

Arthur knew where the Horn was. It made more sense than William and his father teaming up, after all.

His legs didn’t even wait, going to the door. But it wasn’t like he could just… Go and take it.

He had ordered Gwaine to stay with Merlin. William had probably gone to Merlin. They must be partying all together, three people between him and the Horn. How had Merlin convinced Gwaine to—

That wasn’t his problem. William had solved his issues with a jug to Arthur’s head, he probably had taken care of Gwaine too. 

Hand at the doorknob, he stopped.

Still, there’d be Merlin. And William. He’d still have to take the Horn from them. 

Arthur prayed, for once in his life, for the luck to be on his side. Nothing much, just the Horn laying somewhere open, with no one around so he could snatch it. He didn’t want to bicker with Will anymore, he didn’t want Merlin in the middle of all. If Merlin even _sensed_ what he was up to, the idiot would surely come with him. He wasn’t going to put him nor anyone any further danger.

Hopefully, William and Merlin would be lost too much in conversation or whatever the hell they were doing to notice him. Once he blew the Horn… Arthur hoped William had told Merlin that would be their last conversation. Maybe he hadn’t, trusting he would be unconscious for longer but there was nothing he could. 

To grant them the knowledge that would be their last conversation would be the right thing to do. To have them cherish those last moments, to say those last words… He hadn’t had such chance with his father unfortunately, and he didn’t want Merlin to go through that pain with his friend who had already died to protect him.

Arthur could only pray that he’d have Merlin’s forgiveness for the things he had taken from him.

It was horribly silent.

Merlin looked worriedly at Will, who was still staring to the horseman, face cold as stone.

“Will?” he asked slowly.

“You know what,” Will shouted turning to the sky, voice trembling. “Have at it! Do you think you can hurt me by your little petty games? Hold nothing back! Strike me if you dare, _you coward_.”

“Will,” Merlin held his arm. This was bad. Losing his father hadn’t been easy for Will, after not even knowing who his mother was. Now to relive all those memories back… “Let’s go to—”

“No,” Will cut in, eyes on the horseman about to enter the village. “If She wants me to watch, then I’ll watch. She cannot stop me by playing dirty. I’ll alter her plans whatever the cost.”

“What plans?” Merlin tried to pull Will, to go out of this place before everything went horrible. He wasn’t going to let Will relive the pain. 

“Arthur, Mordred, destiny. Isn’t that what all your life is about these days? Haven’t you reduced your worth on your ability to keep Arthur happy? Whatever the hell everyone sees in that hypocrite—” Merlin closed his eyes. He should have known remembering these moments would only fuel Will against Arthur.

“Will, I understand your pain, but don’t direct your anger what happened to your father to Arthur. Let’s just go to the woods, I have so many things to tell to you.”

“I watched everything, remember? Now apparently I have to watch this. She can’t stop me forever.”

“Can’t you try again?” Merlin tried helplessly. “Maybe you passed too little time.” 

“No Merlin, I am not stupid. I could easily pass years, couldn’t I? Do you think I don’t know how to pass a few months? I _can’t_ pass, it’s frozen like this cursed place!” He tried to kick the snow forgetting he couldn’t interact with anything and nearly fell. Merlin caught him by the arm. 

Before he could say anything more, the horseman entered the village. The unusual guest had attracted many curious eyes, little whisperings got carried in the small crowd gathering around the village centre. 

He hated the cold look on Will’s face that gave nothing, not even blinking away from the horseman with stubbornness. 

Matthew ran to the village centre, directly going to the man. It broke something in his heart seeing him run to everything, remembering his fate. He had always been the one running around, keeping everything and everyone on schedule. Always kind, always trying to make the best for everyone. 

Matthew had deserved far better. 

He knew this would be the moment they came. Merlin turned to his back, while Will still didn’t blink away from the horseman. The trees revealed a younger Merlin carrying an armful of lumps. Will was coming after him carrying twice the wood he carried. 

He remembered collecting wood for Will’s home together. They hadn’t known what news were awaiting them when they got back.

“Son of Thomas?” the man asked without even getting off of his horse. 

“That’s William. William!” Matthew shouted turning around, eyes searching for him. Will’s laugh froze on his face and he quickened his pace.

The horseman reached out to the leather bag he carried at the back of his horse and began to search for something. It seemed to be an endless pit as he dived his hand in. He pulled out a folded clothing.

“Give this to him.” The horseman handed it to Matthew.

“Wait for a little. William!” Will began running hearing Matthew’s unusual loud voice.

“I am kind of in a hurry.” The horse moved beneath him as if he too was in a hurry.

“He is right there.”

The small crowd departed before Will. He dumped all the wood on the ground, breathlessly looking at the messenger. 

“Son of Thomas of Ealdor?”

“I am,” he frowned.

The messenger handed the folded clothing to Will, who was cluelessly looking at the thing that was put in his hands. 

“I am so sorry for your loss.” Will’s mouth opened and closed to reply, but no words came from it. His eyes then turned to the bloodied shirt thrust in his hands. “He was a good but a foolish man.”

“What— My—” Will stuttered.

“I don’t know much, my master sent me.” The man shrugged. “He goes around calling himself a knight but let me tell you, he wouldn’t have that big of an ass if he actually did the going around part— Nevermind me. I am truly sorry for your loss, as is Sir Bruenor and the Lord. His sacrifice will be remembered, and Lord himself thanks for his courage for saving his knight. He even sent me to retrieve you this— Look kid, I’m not the best in breaking the news, I am sorry but don’t expect anything else from those pompous fools. You are damn lucky you managed to get this one last memory of him. Again, I am sorry but this is life.” The man firmly gripped the reins, his eyes didn’t stay on Will for an unnecessary second. With a flicker of his wrist, the horse obeyed his will, turning slightly right and started to ride off; leaving a wreck behind him. A horrible silence fell.

Merlin looked at Will, who had watched all of it without a change on his face. He could have thought Will was frozen if he didn’t know how closed off he could get when he retrieved to his shell. 

There was nothing he could do, nothing he could change. He had to watch as Will suffered, and he hated it with all his guts. 

Younger Merlin got through the crowd, but the horseman’s departure had made Will snap out of it. He simply bent down, collecting all the woods he had dumped on the ground. His younger-self was awkwardly standing after him. He knew Will wouldn’t crack in the slightest around this much people. 

“Will… What are you doing?” Matthew began, not sure how to approach it as Will got up with a pile of wood in his arms.

“I don’t want to freeze to death?” Matthew stared for a few seconds, then turned to the small crowd. A lot of people had left seeing it wasn’t what they hoped it to be -truly, it was foolish to expect help from Lord right before the winter as good as it sounded- only ones with nothing to do was left.

“He is right. And unless any of you fancies the idea of freezing to death or starving, you should get to work too.”

Will still didn’t blink, face stoic. Merlin wasn’t sure if he admired or hated that about Will. He admired how strong he was, but hated the feeling of not being sure if he could reach to him.

Younger Will was walking away, and Merlin was following him right after. 

“William.” Will stopped at the threshold, turning to Matthew. Younger Merlin got in, dumping the wood on the corner of the small home.

“Yes?” 

Matthew pressed his lips, a grim look on his face. He put a hand on Will’s shoulder. “I am sorry for what happened to your father. He was a great man, with the purest heart—”

“That doesn’t bring him back,” Will huffed, averting his eyes. “All talk, but no reward for his deeds than death.”

“If you want to go to the Lord, we can lend you the horse. There might have been some misunderstanding…”

“No,” Will cut in voice firm, “He managed to send his bloodied shirt to his son. I don’t expect anything more.”

Matthew stopped for a second, not commenting if Will’s voice wavered a little. “You are as strong as he is. But you are not alone. Anything you need, you can come to me.”

“Thank you,” Will said withdrawing, “but I don’t need help.” 

The door shut to Matthew’s face. Matthew stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, then looked at the deserted village centre. Everything and everyone had moved on, he turned back and went to what he was doing before the horseman came.

“He was a good man,” Will said softly.

“He was.” Merlin nodded.

“Let’s go.” 

Merlin startled, looked at Will next to him who was walking to his home.

“We don’t have to—”

“No,” He cut in, turning with a cold face. “She cannot make me back up like this. I _will_ watch it.” Will turned back, not waiting for an answer and stormed to the cottage.

He hated this. He hated his stubbornness, he hated how he never backed up, he hated how closed off he could get, he hated how useless he was when Will—

Merlin ran after him. He passed through the wall, and the familiar cottage welcomed him. It hadn’t changed much throughout the years, and it wasn’t like Will was in a place to make any changes. 

Merlin walked beside Will, who was staring at the floor, zoned out. 

“Will?” Merlin heard his younger-self, looking at Will like he was a skittish horse as Will angrily pulled something from the shelf at the back of the room. Something was stuck, Will tried to reach out with a grunt.

“Let me—”

“No.” Will cut in and pulled the box at the bottom with all he got. 

Everything fell. 

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold. All the things froze mid-air, right on top Will’s head, who had nothing but to cover his head briefly. 

“Thank you.” Will blinked and then proceeded to collect the stuff that hanging on air as if he was plucking apples.

He carefully laid the rusted box on the ground. With an echoing creak, it revealed all kinds of carpentry knives and a handsaw. He remembered staring into Will, not sure what to say, not sure what he was doing. 

Will got up, walked to the table without a word. His fingers brushed over his father’s grimy shirt.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin ducked his head.

“Me too,” Will whispered, never meeting his eyes. He turned around, to the corner of the room, where they had dumped all the wood. “I’ll make something to hang it. You can go, I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to be fine, not now,” His younger-self tried desperately. Right now, he could relate to him. Merlin slowly touched Will’s arm, who still hadn’t uttered a word, who still stared into the scene.

Younger Will didn’t reply to him too, bending down and getting an armful of woods. He carried and dumped them near the opposite wall. Carpentry knives were shining and Will sat next to them. He picked a small one and began to carve. 

He seemed to be ignoring him, but Merlin knew this wasn’t true. Merlin wasn’t sure if he had anything in mind, to begin with. He slowly walked to Will.

“He wasn’t a very present father anyways,” Will spoke up, voice betraying his words. “Always doing something, always living in a dream, always running after a tale, always away—” His movements became more fervent with each tick, shoulders starting to tremble.

The knife slipped from his fingers, opening a cut, but Will didn’t seem to notice it. 

“Will, stop.” Merlin leapt forward. He held his hand, stopping him. Merlin slowly sat next to him, taking the knife from his hands. “You’re going to hurt yourself,” he said eyes on the small cut. It luckily wasn’t a serious cut, but Will had the potential to stare with a firm face as he butchered himself. 

A silence stretched, filling the air in sorrow. 

He hated how useless he had been, still holding his arm. Whatever Will said, Merlin knew his father was one of the only person’s Will had in his life. No matter how absent he was, no matter how he seemed to only pass by, he still… _was._ This time, there was no coming back. This time, he was truly alone.

“He wasn’t friends with the lord,” Will said voice hoarse, staring to the ground with a murderous glare. “He fucking used him, took everything from his life.”

Will raised his head, and he remembered how he felt it in his heart seeing his tear-filled eyes. 

“Everything for what? All his life, for what? For a worthless—”

As his younger-self stared helplessly at him, he ducked his head, but the tears sliding down his cheeks were visible. Younger Merlin pulled Will to himself, and this time, he didn’t resist. 

Merlin wiped his own tears, snuggling up to Will. He was as helpless as he used to be, only standing beside him as Will again suffered in silence. 

Younger Merlin sat on the floor, with Will curling on him. He could remember and could feel again Will’s trembling shoulders and silent cries he buried in his chest. Merlin wrapped his arms around him. Will pressed his head to Merlin’s chest as if he wanted to bury himself there forever. He ducked his head, resting on Will’s.

“I am so sorry.” 

They both stayed there in silence, leaning onto each other as time passed, as Will’s cries dimmed out. Merlin had closed his eyes, firmly hugging him. That was all he could do.

Will raised his head from his chest, looking in his eyes. 

“What will I do, Merlin?” He whispered frantically, looking more like the child he was than someone trying to put a brave face. He gulped, and his eyes went over the empty cottage. “How will I—”

“You won’t be alone,” Merlin said voice firm, turning Will’s face gently to him. “I promise.”

Will nodded, closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “You are a good friend. A great one.”

Younger Merlin gave a broken smile as Will clutched onto his shoulder, trying to fight the tears that had just stopped. God, it was breaking his heart again to see him like this. 

It hadn’t been easy for Will. True, his father had been absent most of the time but he still was there. Sometimes passing by and staying for days, sometimes sending the little money he earned or just the comforting knowledge that his father was somewhere, out there, a support when Will needed it. After his death Will had been thrust into being all on his own. For outsiders, as he had been nearly living on his own for a long time and Will would eat his own tongue before he slipped something about how hard it was, it seemed to be easy. It seemed that he wasn’t affected much except moneywise but Merlin knew—

“Lancelot was one lucky man to meet you.” Merlin turned to Will next to him with a startle. He hadn’t realized Will was looking at him.

“I wish I could have done something for you,” Merlin said and didn’t comment if he saw the tears in Will’s eyes, knowing he too shared them.

“You did. My God, you did so much. Now is the time I do something for you.” Merlin frowned as Will’s face hardened, switching to his dead focused face. What was all this about? 

“You know the prophecy. The one about Mordred and Arthur.”

Merlin closed his eyes. _Of course_ it was about Arthur. Why wouldn’t everything be about Arthur? Why wouldn’t even something with Will be about Arthur?

“It’s—Merlin?”

“Nothing,” Merlin gulped. “Continue.”

Will gave a sceptical look but continued. “It’s going to happen soon if not stopped.” 

“I know,” he breathed.

“No, you don’t. Mordred hasn’t betrayed you yet. I have a question for you, answer me honestly.” Merlin nodded, snapping out of the sweet dream of their childhood, heart starting to beat faster just by talking about the destiny awaiting them.

“If you were asked to choose between letting Mordred die and advising Arthur to accept magic, what would you have chosen?”

“What?” Merlin frowned. He had been expecting something with the lines of why are you being like that to Mordred, not whatever Will was talking about.

“Just imagine. Mordred hasn’t betrayed you yet and is hurt protecting Arthur. He is about to die. You are asked to choose between letting Mordred die but advise Arthur against magic, or save Mordred but advise Arthur to accept magic.”

There was a beat before Merlin realized there was only one answer he could give. Saying it though, he hadn’t had in it him to voice aloud right after they watched Will’s father’s death. If Will didn’t hate him before, he surely was going to hate him after this.

“Merlin?” Will laughed. “Surely, this can’t be that hard. You’d of course choose freeing magic, right?”

A silence stretched.

“…Right?” His face fell.

Will was going to hate him.

“I cannot save a man destined to kill Arthur.”

Will shook his head, ghost of a smile still on his lips. “No, but you-you _had_ saved him. First time Mordred came to Camelot, I know you saved him. You didn’t listen to the dragon and you saved him.”

“I know. And I wish I could— but look where that got us to,” his voice wavered. 

“No, Merlin,” Will kept shaking his head but only seemed to be trying to convince himself. “You did the right thing. You did it before. You will do it again. You wouldn’t put Arthur before everything else. Not now. I reminded you.” 

“I have to do what I have to do.” He could feel the weight of those words on his shoulders. 

Will looked at him in shock, a shock he didn’t think he had ever seen from him before.

“No, you don’t mean that. All of this, haven’t they raised anything in you? This, us, Ealdor? Haven’t you seen— Haven’t you seen how it used to be?”

“I did.” Merlin closed his eyes. Whatever Will had aimed, he had completely missed it. The only thing he learned was how much he missed how it used to be and that had only doubled the pain of weighing the destiny.

“So why not? Haven’t you seen how everything used to be? Free? And happy? Why not save Mordred to free magic?”

“I can’t.”

The betrayed and shocked look on Will’s face shot right through his heart.

“Why can’t you?” Will cried. “How can you _say_ that? Why exchange all sorcerer’s and sorceress’ and druids’ and children’s lives for Arthur? How can you damn everything for one man? How can you damn every single person like you just for a chance to get rid off Mordred?" Whatever Will was thinking saying those words, they were not helping, _at all_. 

“Why? How can you put Arthur above all else? Why put him above yourself, your own happiness?” His voice got harsher. “Don’t look like that now, the truth hurts, doesn’t it? Believe me, it hurts just as much to watch you like this, becoming something you are not. You were so kind, so compassionate.” 

Merlin’s eyes snapped open, staring at Will with horror. Will didn’t seem to understand what he had just said.

“Why not show the same compassion to Mordred? Why put a king above—” He wasn’t hearing the words anymore, an answer on the tip of his tongue that he didn’t want to say, but rolled out almost automatically.

“I grew up.” 

The same horror dawned on Will’s face, _finally_ realizing whose words they were mirroring. “No, no! I don’t accept that. That’s not you. That’s— Stop talking like Morgana!” he snapped.

“It’s true,” he managed no matter how much it pained him. “I’m not the same boy you saw today. That boy grew up. And he learnt the meaning of duty,” Merlin said voice firm. 

“So what? Protect Arthur at all costs? If that cost is a life and who you are? If the cost is your own happiness?”

“It is my destiny.” Merlin nodded coldly. 

Will’s face darkened. “Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone _else_ has tried to forced on you?”

“This isn’t just about destiny!” Merlin shouted finally losing it, “I can’t lose him. He is my friend.”

“Then what the fuck am I?” Will growled, he too losing it, “What is Gwaine? What is Gwen? What was Gilli that you stopped from killing Uther? Who are all the druids and sorcerers to you? Are any life that isn’t Arthur’s worthless to you?”

“No! How can you _say_ that? Even if, even if—” Merlin shut Will with a glare. “Even if I advised Arthur to it, what would the point be?”

“It’s a test. All of this is some fucked up test!” Will shouted, throwing his hands up.

“So? Is this my test or Arthur’s test?” Will frowned, not sure where it was going. Will was wrong in what he was thinking. The destiny wasn’t just _his._

“In that question,” Merlin pressed, “is the last say mine or Arthur’s?”

“…The last say is Arthur’s.” As soon as the words left Will’s lips, his mouth turned into a very particular ‘O’ shape. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, “is a man of is own. No matter what I do, I can’t force him to do anything. And I wouldn’t. If that day will come, it will. Someday, somehow. Today, we survive. Even if I advised him to accept it, do you honestly think I could overcome years of prejudice and experience with a few pretty words? Do you honestly think he’d listen to me? Do you honestly think he listens to me?”

Something dawned to Will, his head making little shakes as he stared to the ground.

“You didn’t think about this, did you?” he said softly.

“How come I— How do you miss something like this?!” Will shut his eyes. “But, no, wait. You are underestimating yourself, your place in destiny and your influence. He’d listen to you. He _listens_ to you. That’s his like one redeeming quality.” 

A bitter smile appeared on his lips. “Perhaps. But is my voice loud enough to suppresses Uther’s, every sorcerer who tried to harm Camelot?”

“Then,” Will said raising his head, “if he is this Once and Future King you all believe, he _has_ to be worth it. He has to be the kind of person who could overcome this. If he doesn’t listen to you, he isn’t worth it.”

“It’s not how it works,” Merlin huffed. “He _is_ my friend and I say he _is_ worth it. He’ll always be worth it no matter how it may seem to the outsiders, to you, deep down, he is a good person and the best king this land has ever seen.”

“I must have a very serious problem with my eyes,” Will said flatly.

“And that’s not my problem.”

“Don’t-don’t change the subject. Even if— Oh God,” Will grunted closing his eyes. “No, now this is about you, not Arthur. You are not just Arthur’s protector or his servant. Arthur and your ability to keep him alive doesn’t define you. You are important, you are someone beyond that fucked up destiny. Even if Arthur chooses not to accept, that doesn’t change your answer’s importance. It shows how far you have gone. It shows you, Merlin, it shows where you are. It doesn’t _ease_ the weight of your answer.”

Merlin could feel his eyes burning. “ _Ease_ ? How can you speak about _ease_? Do you think I don’t feel the weight of my answer more than you could ever understand? Do you think it is easy for me to say this? Do you think I am this heartless and mindless monster that feels nothing? Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart apart to deny any chance I might give other’s to be free?”

Will’s face softened, all the heat of argument dissipating. “You don’t think _you_ are going to be free, do you?”

Merlin averted his eyes. “He can’t. He can’t know.”

“Weren’t you the one dreaming how good it could be before you told me? You think I’d believe you don’t think, dream the same now?”

“Stop it!” His voice began to tremble. “Just-just stop! It won’t be good. He can’t know. I’ll lose him if he learns. I’ll lose everything. Did you not see what happened to Gwen when he thought she betrayed him? Do you think _I_ would have a chance if he learnt I have magic? Even if he accepts magic, he wouldn’t accept the lies. He would only a see a betrayer, a traitor if he even _looks_ at me. I— I still have a chance,” Merlin nodded to himself. “I can stop Mordred and prophecy.”

“I don’t think you have a chance, Merlin. Not with this mindset. If that ‘one day’ is still your goal, know that it won’t come if you keep making the hard choices yourself to protect Arthur from that weight.”

“No, that’s not what I do,” Merlin said but by heart, he knew this was very much true. There were things he did, the ones that he didn’t regret and would do the same but things he had done his heart aching, things he said and did to protect Arthur from himself, from the emotional hurt.

Was he not letting Arthur grow?

“Let’s see what you doubt.” His eyes shone. “Let’s see what you condemn.”

Will jumped on him and grabbed his wrist.

Merlin was about to remind him that they were frozen in that time, but he shut his mouth as everything started to dissolve around him. 

He threw one last longing glance to their younger-selves, still leaning on each other before they too disappeared in the darkness forever.

Like blinking, as soon as Ealdor disappeared, Merlin found himself somewhere else.

“Gwen!” 

He didn’t know what they were doing or what this was, seeing her sitting on the bed with Elyan by her side and Gaius next to her was a relief. Gaius put his hand on her chest and Gwen took a deep breath, her breath turning shaky at the end. 

“Before you ask,” Will said, “this is the present. It is happening right now, as you are asleep.”

“She’s alright.” Merlin breathed, shoulder’s visibly dropping seeing Gwen alright and smiling.

“You’ll need rest,” Gaius pressed his lips, “plenty of rest.”

“Gaius,” Gwen cut in, “there are more pressing matters in hand.”

“I don’t think there is, my lady.”

“We are under attack. Elyan thinks there are two spirits because of his previous contact with another spirit. What do you know about spirits? Could this be Morgana’s doing? How can we fight them and eliminate them? Is there a protection we could use, perhaps a temporary solution?”

“You sure they are ghosts, my lady?” Gaius asked face blank.

“I was dragged down the halls and then locked in, Gaius. You can’t mistake something like that. I am pretty sure we are under-”

A candle rolled from the left side of the room startling everyone. That was when he realized Mordred was in the room, along with Percival. 

“Sorry,” Mordred gave a shaky laugh to have all the eyes on himself and picked up the candle he dropped.

“Gaius?”

“I do suspect it might be ghosts, my lady.”

“Is this Morgana’s doing?” Gwen kept pressing.

“Perhaps. But I don’t think so.”

“Then _please_ Gaius, what do you think? We have to take action.”

“I think the action is already taken, my lady.”

“Speak more clearly.”

Merlin couldn’t tear his eyes from Mordred as silence fell, everyone waiting for Gaius’ answer. He watched him walk to the small table, picking up a lit up a candle and turning his back. 

What was he supposed to do? By heart, he didn’t _want_ to hurt Mordred. 

But Merlin had learnt it the hard way with Morgana.

“It is a matter I swore not to speak about.” With Gaius speaking Merlin turned to him. Gwen’s lips had thinned and he could hear the wheels turning in her head.

“But you would reply to my questions if it was an order?”

“As best as I could, my lady, as you hold equal power with the person I gave the promise to.” Gwen’s mouth slightly opened, understanding Gaius’ implication.

Merlin hoped Gaius wouldn’t reveal things he perhaps misunderstood and mess up everything. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mordred shot a suspicious glance to his back which made him switch his attention to Mordred. 

Blood started going wild in his veins, he knew he couldn’t interfere if Mordred did something. 

Mordred brought the lit up candle closer and if he had been standing anywhere, he wouldn’t have seen the flames were not touching the other candle. Instead, as Merlin tensed, Mordred’s eyes burned. The candle lit up with a wild green and Mordred’s eyes went wide, quickly trying to cover it up with his hands, head snapping to his back.

Lucky for him everyone’s focus was on Gaius and Gwen. 

“Leave, all of you.” He heard Gwen. 

“What is he doing?” Merlin asked, not taking his eyes off Mordred. The flame had dimmed down, settling in like a normal candle. He wouldn’t have guessed something was up with it if he hadn’t seen it go green with his own eyes.

“I was _such_ an expert on magic, wasn’t I?”

Merlin pressed his lips as Mordred got the candle off the table, carefully getting closer to Gwen’s bed. Mordred stood awkwardly before the foot of the bed as everyone was near the door, leaving as ordered. Under curious eyes turned to him, Mordred bent down, putting the candle on the floor. That was when he realized the other two candles standing on the nightstands next to her bed. 

He could bet they too were magical. 

“Mordred?” Gwen tried to smile with a frown. “What are you doing?”

Merlin didn’t know what it was, but judging from how Gaius’ eyebrows went up, he definitely knew.

“It’s um— It’s… I have heard of a way to ward off spirits.”

“How does it work?” Gwen’s looked at the candle on the left nightstand. “If it provides protection, we could apply to it on a greater scale, right Gaius? Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

“No, no!” Mordred cut in. “I don’t think that would work. It’s probably useless anyway.”

“It probably is a myth,” Gaius said, his eyes focused on Mordred suggesting otherwise.

“Yes! I thought I could do something at least, my lady. It’s useless but… And unmagical.” Mordred nodded to himself. “Very unmagical. Totally. The unmagicikest.”

“…Right.” Gwen frowned along with everyone else. Mordred turned away with a smile and quickened his pace seeing he was the only knight left in the room. 

“Mordred.” With Gwen stopping him as he was just about to leave, Mordred turned back face white. “If...there are _things_ you learnt or did when you were working alongside Morgana, know that they wouldn’t be held against you.”

A proud smile formed on his lips hearing Gwen’s words. Then his heart ached, wondering what Gwen would do if she learnt about his magic.

“My lady, I-”

“You owe no explanation. You showed where your heart lies when you saved my husband.” Mordred gave a shaky breath and turned back, walking out of the door.

Perhaps he didn’t need to do something about Mordred, he was going on the path to execute himself with sure steps.

“Look at the mighty slayer of Arthur Pendragon,” Will grunted. “If _this_ was the boy to be my bane, I’d fall on my own sword and save myself from the embarrassment.” 

Merlin glared at him.

“So what? He is clumsy and naive but that doesn’t change that he will play a part in Arthur’s death. I like him myself, but I can't ignore what I saw.”

“I always knew you were a stubborn goat but you are taking it to a new level.” Merlin sharply turned to Will.

“Why are you doing all of this?”

“I care because you care. If you wanted to kill him, you had countless opportunities, don’t fool yourself. You could have killed him in his sleep, you could have slipped a little poison, there are so many things you could have done if you chose to and nobody would even think about you. But you didn’t and you won’t. I know you Merlin, they might be trying to make you one but you are _not_ a murderer. You care. You care about Mordred, you care about Arthur, you care about the druids, you care about everyone. No matter how much you change or grow up, you’d never stop caring. That’s who you are. Only your priorities are a little messed up right now.” 

“More than a little messed up,” Merlin said averting his eyes. “Will, I—”

He wanted to, he so badly wanted to. Yet…

“What do you think happened with Morgana?” he said shakily, “I thought I could fight against the prophecy, I ignored all the warnings. I didn’t listen to the dragon and then—” He shut his eyes in pain. “I wanted to trust her, I thought I could fix it, then the siege and… Dozens died. People kept dying. I couldn’t stop her. I knew but I couldn’t stop her. Hundreds of people died, Will. I freed Kilgharrah, and more died. I tried to save Uther and it backfired so _badly._ I helped Mordred and now he is in this very castle. I don’t know which way to turn, what to do anymore. Everything I do… It ends badly. I-I don’t what is right or wrong anymore, but I can’t ignore what I saw this time.”

“You said it yourself, Arthur is a man of his own. A coin worths the same from both sides. You have done so much, sacrificed so much. What did _he_ do in return for all you did?” 

“He will. It is my duty to protect him till he— I don’t expect you to understand!” Merlin snapped seeing Will open his mouth. For Will, it was all so easy.

“They are trying to push you to become this!” 

“Then what are _you_ doing?” It was like there were a hundred voices in his head and he didn’t know what to think, what to listen to anymore. “You are doing the same. You get so angry at them but you are doing the same. You too are trying to push me to the path you believe to be right.”

Shock flashed on Will’s face.

“No, that’s not what I do. I’m trying to stop you from making a mistake!”

“Everyone is trying to stop me from a mistake, telling me what to do, everyone is telling me to be careful with everyone, yet I don’t even know what is what anymore.” He could feel he was getting more frantic with each word, voice going higher. “I can feel destiny’s breath on my neck yet I still don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do about Mordred, I don’t know how I’ll stop Morgana, I don’t know if that ‘someday’ will come, I don’t even know my friends anymore, I don’t know who I am becoming, I don’t know how to stop destiny. Kilgharrah and the Diamair and the Locru and— I’m pulled in so many directions that I don’t know which way is which” he finished, suddenly becoming aware of the tears in his eyes.

Merlin couldn’t bring himself to look at Will, knowing he’d see his pain reflected on his face. The rant wasn’t directed to him. Merlin hoped Will knew it. 

The world grumbled. 

He really wasn’t going to have time to process anything, was he? Always thrust into one thing to other—

Merlin sucked in a deep breath, looking at the colours suddenly blacking in and out. It was as if the world was fading away, disappearing. Gwen and Gaius and the room began to blur as if they were underwater.

“Oh no, not now.” He turned to Will and saw his face white as a sheet.

_What’s wrong_ , Merlin tried to say but the whole world blacked out. A scream undeniably belonging to Will echoed in the darkness.

He jumped in without a thought.

It was dead quiet, he couldn’t hear his own heartbeat. Chills were running down his spine just by how soundless it all was. 

It was all darkness and emptiness, covering and consuming it all. There was nothing, no ground beneath his feet, no sky, just a void. The only things that were visible were locks and a very long chain, passing from his left and stretching beyond his eyesight. 

A gigantic tear, one horrifyingly reminding the Veil, awakening the memory of the gruesome screams was standing before him. It was vibrating, Merlin _knew_ it was vibrating but there was no way to distinguish it from the darkness except for the thin faint line. The tear was half-closed, or was trying to close except for a chain coming out of it. 

A skein was in the middle of it.

His heart stopped beating when the skein looked quite familiar. 

Will was in the middle of the skein, his whole body was covered with locks and the chains that were wrapping him from head-to-toe. He could see Will’s little squirmings but yet the chains were not moving. It _hurt_ to look.

It was tearing him apart.

Out of reflex, Merlin started running to Will. With his every step, it felt like he was going to fall into a never-ending emptiness. His eyes widened realizing he was running where he was, not getting any closer to help Will. Or perhaps he was moving, but with nothing around, not even ground beneath him, there was no way to tell.

He had to do something, he had to— Not this time...

Merlin looked helplessly around. 

Maybe he could— He reached out for the chains. As soon as his hand touched it, the chains on his side of the skein began to glow a yellow light, as if it was coming alive with his touch. With a pull, it didn’t take a blink to return to Gwen’s familiar chambers.

The horrifying tear was gone as if he had never seen it. Everything was normal, a normal room, right colours, no blacking outs, except-except what he just saw wasn’t normal, at all. 

There was still a chill in his bones.

His eyes immediately met Will’s. He was no longer out of his reach, standing as close as before.

“What… _What the hell was that_?” Will closed his eyes, hand reaching out for the table stand for support but his hand went straight through it. Merlin caught him by the arm and realized Will was shaking.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing.” He deadpanned at Will. “Since when chains appearing out of nowhere and tearing you apart is _nothing_?”

“It’s not important.”

“There is something seriously wrong and you are not telling me.”

“I said it’s not important, leave it, Merlin.”

“No, it’s not _not important_ when—”

“Look,” Will snapped pulling his arm harshly, “your idiot has decided to go after Uther. We have to— Oh what now?!” he shouted.

Merlin stared helplessly as his brows pinched. Something was going on, something was wrong with Will. 

“Will?”

“Can’t you hear it?”

“…No.” 

He was getting more and more nervous. Scratch it, he was getting _terrified_. First whatever the hell that tear was and now Will hearing voices… 

“Merlin, you have to go now,” Will said, snapping out of it.

“Are you not coming?” There was desperation rising in him.

“There is something, uh, rather someone calling me.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Merlin blurted out. After what he saw, there was no way he was leaving Will behind. 

“Arthur is in danger,” Will hissed, “He is with Uther right now. Go what you do.”

Merlin shook his head helplessly. 

“There is no time for this,” Will murmured taking a step back. Merlin tried to hold onto him but with a flicker or Will’s wrist, all went black. 

He was starting to hate all of this. 

Merlin didn’t open his eyes first. It was like waking up from a dream, first becoming half-aware, hearing the soft voices and feeling the moonlight dancing on one’s skin. 

He opened his eyes and was back in his room. Merlin glanced at bluish ghost Will leaning on the nightstand, still eyes shut. Will had woken him up, yet he hadn’t. He hated not knowing what was going on with Will, not knowing how to—

There was no time for it. 

Arthur. 

He needed to find Arthur.

Merlin got out of the bed, running out of his room. Gaius was nowhere in sight -still with Gwen- there was only poor Gwaine still sleeping on the table. His eyes caught something. More like something that should be there but-

The horn was gone. 

Arthur had really gone after Uther and he had chosen the worst time for that.

Half a mind still thinking about what was happening to Will, Merlin ran.

“Alright, who are you?”

It was getting stupid, and Will wouldn’t have stayed. But… He was getting helpless. Merlin… He had seen it. He had seen, -God, how _good_ he had- the terrifying ‘growth’ Merlin had, that would bring his own damnation.

Merlin’s word echoed in his head, how he too was trying to push him.

Had he tried to fit Merlin into what he wanted him to be after helplessly watching him for years? Was he losing control and intervening with too much after not being able to do anything? 

Anyhow, the promise of help had got his attention. He didn’t need to follow the help through, just-just learn it.

“William,” the voice called again. “Come to the Crystal Cave. We’ll be able to communicate.”

“Crystal—What? How can I? I can’t interact with anything like this.”

The same voice echoed again, seemingly coming from nowhere yet everywhere. “The Lady of Avalon had strengthened your tie to magic. Come to the Crystal Cave. It will work there. Hurry.” 

That was it, leaving him hanging and suspicious. 

Was it a trick to stall him? Perhaps another trick to stall him by the Goddess. There was a glorious Merlin, Arthur, Uther meeting out there and Will could think thousands of things that could go wrong, he had to—

Merlin could look after his own. Will shut his own thoughts. 

Whoever it was, it knew about Freya and more about her cryptic words she said. He couldn’t miss this.

He had a pretty good guess on what the price was. Will remembered the pull he felt, chains tearing him apart with a shudder.

Not the best way to go.

Will closed his eyes, thinking about the Crystal Cave. He had seen it once through Freya's monitor, so it was easy to think about it. The Triskelion began to turn and it proved to be surprisingly effortless to go to the Crystal Cave. There was almost a natural gravitation.

He opened his eyes and was welcomed with a mesmerizing view of the cave filled with crystals. Hell. _Hell_. Even if he had seen it before when Merlin came there, it was breathtaking to see the cave with his own eyes. Light was shining through the thousand crystals, casting rainbows and a giving mesmerizing view. 

It was a pity how few humans would have the fortune to see such beauty. 

Foggy visions started to form once his eyes lingered for too long and Will couldn’t help but wonder if his new ability was a result of Freya’s tying him to magic.

Someone was standing in the middle of the cave, someone he’d never think he’d see in a million years.

“You are Merlin’s father,” Will blurted out in shock. He had seen Balinor once when Merlin met and then… Well, it wasn’t a face he could forget, nor the anguish Merlin must have felt.

_Of course_ , Will thought. _Freya had told me Merlin’s father was bound to the Crystal Cave._

“My name is Balinor,” he smiled. “Though, I reckon you already know that.”

“Wait, wait. Why did you want me to send Merlin away?” Will desperately looked back as if Merlin was walking away and he could shout him to turn him back. “He should be the one here, not me.”

“I am only but a projection. He would not be able to see me from that far away, and you can see me only by your strengthened tie to magic. That time will come but not like this. Once everything is over, tell Merlin to come to the Crystal Cave. And bring the hatchling, Aithusa, when it is the right time. With the dragonlord’s knowledge, with Merlin’s power, with the pure magic of this place and the healing gifts of a High Priestess, poor hatchling might be healed.” 

“What has Morgana to do with— You have to tell these to Merlin.” Will nodded to himself. “We can work something out, I’m sure. Just—”

“William,” Balinor shut him. “Listen to me. There are more pressing matters. You have to tell this to him later."

“There will be no later.”

“You are talking about the tear, are you not?”

Will averted his eyes. 

He’d had a glimpse of what was awaiting him. The weight of locks, their pull tearing him apart— 

That was how he understood Arthur had gotten the Horn. Once he had used the power Freya gave him, he’d gotten too close to Otherworld. Arthur’s contact had managed to bring him to the brink of the Void between two Worlds. He was still tied to the Otherworld, yet whatever Freya had done, he was also tied to the Living World. Even Arthur’s touch with the Horn was squeezing the tear, pulling his chains unimaginably. 

If not for Merlin pulling him, he’d be torn apart even before the Horn was blown.

He had brushed it off, but now, he can’t help but be terrified for the fate awaiting him. Before, the price was only a concept he knew, now he had seen it with his own eyes and felt what was going to happen.

He was damn terrified. 

“I knew there’d be a price to pay,” Will said.

Balinor shook his head sadly. “The price must be the least of your worries now.”

“Forgive me if I’m not looking forward to being torn apart.”

“That is not the price.”

“Wh—Huh? How is that not the price?” Hope blossomed in his chest, but a thought caught up with him. If not, then what was?

“That is a mere conclusion of the situation you are in. The Lady of Avalon gained the knowledge of how to free spirits as soon as she spoke about Sir Lancelot’s gate. That was a knowledge she needed to free spirits from Avalon, more specifically, one to free King Arthur and his Round Table when the right time came for them to rise.” 

It was all gibberish to him.

“What she didn’t know was that she hadn’t acquired the full power yet. She knew how to free spirits to the Living Realm, but the Goddess hadn’t revealed to her how to do it fully. And She wouldn’t reveal, until the Once and Future King’s and his Round Table’s return. To protect the balance of the world, the Goddess had to ensure King Arthur would return at the right time, thus, preventing the Lady of Avalon from full knowledge. If she was in full power and knowledge, you wouldn’t be a mere ghost still tied to the Otherworld, you’d be flesh and human again, reborn.” 

“Wait, so what is the price?”

“There is nothing you can do, nor anyone can. What’s done is done. You must complete your mission here.”

That was no answer, and it was only making him more and more nervous. Apparently, even if he was torn apart, the Goddess would still seek more.

At least he had known what would happen, he was ready to pay. But now, not knowing what was going to happen…

“What else can She possibly want?!” he erupted.

“That is nothing _you_ have to worry about.”

He hated these riddles. One damn straight answer, one straight—

“Oh. Oh, n-no. Freya.” His eyes went wide. “ No, Freya!”

To his horror, Balinor gave a nod.

“She knew as the disturber of the balance, they’d seek the restoration through her. She knew she’d be the one to pay.”

Will shut his eyes in pain.

Gods, Freya. 

And she had known, of course she had. 

“It’s not fair,” he said voice shaking. He could work with whatever the Goddess threw at him but Freya… She hadn’t deserved any of what happened to her. And now she was going to suffer because she’d followed his idea. Freya was going to suffer because of him and apparently, there was nothing he could do. 

And what had he accomplished? What had he changed? All in vein…

“It is nothing _but_ fair. She should have been the keeper of the balance yet she disturbed it. Whatever her intentions may be.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do not, but it is what it is. Perhaps it was bound to happen like this. I do not know what is awaiting the Lady of Avalon but have faith, things may turn out better than you expect.”

“Better?” Will gave an incredulous laugh. “How any of this is _better_ ? I can’t reach to Merlin, Uther is still hurting people, Arthur Pendragon is still as thick as he used to be, and I messed up big time. Merlin was right, it _is_ Arthur’s test and I couldn’t figure it out too focused on what Merlin was becoming and I can bet Freya couldn’t tell me because the Goddess prevented her, everything is going to be the same whatever I do unless Arthur accepts magic. And he won’t, then he’ll die and Merlin would break. All he did, all he sacrificed, everything… I should have— Merlin deserves to be happy and free and none of it is going to happen and he’ll keep suffering. And now god knows what’s going to happen to Freya!” 

“It might seem as all is in vain,” Balinor kept, but Will was about to cry like a child, “but it is not. We don’t have long, as we speak, Arthur is facing Uther. Soon, Merlin will need you more than ever.”

That didn’t help his crying factor, _at all_. 

“Your projection is very different than these crystals. You can only show the time around the events that you know and you actively have to think about an event or person to see what they are doing at the present. Future, that you haven’t yet tried to see, will be a boggy water to you until you see it. Therefore, there is one thing you must learn about the past before you go. Some events happened decades ago that you must learn, so you can show them to someone unconscious.”

“If the Goddess doesn’t stop me,” Will murmured.

“She never did.”

“But, that— Ealdor— She made us watch and stall.” Will frowned, remembering having to relive his father’s death.

“The Goddess wouldn’t interfere like that. It must have been an event that had deeply affected you. It was _you_ who were stuck in that time.”

It made sense. 

So much sense, in a sick, twisted way. 

Will shut his eyes, not wanting to think about it more when so much was at stake.

“What do I have to see?”

“The long-forgotten truths about Uther Pendragon only a handful people and these crystals know.”

It made his stomach roll even to think about Uther. “I don’t want anything about Uther Pendragon. The world had enough of that man.”

“Perhaps, but Arthur Pendragon hasn’t. For everything not to be in vain, to grow and become the man he should be, Arthur _must_ learn the true reason why his father was so against magic.”

Lancelot moved awkwardly at where he sat, eyes on Freya’s slouched shoulders. Will was still sleeping, which was making Freya fidgety thinking if she’d done something wrong and that was why he wasn’t waking up.

“I’m sure it is fine.” Lancelot tried to reassure him. It had been too many seconds since Merlin had woken up yet Will hadn’t.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Freya murmured. “I won’t be able to do anything if She—” 

Right then, his eyes caught something. The amber gem of her necklace was beginning to shine. It was faint, like a little ray of sunshine was coming out of it, and Lancelot had to actually look at the sky to see if it was really coming from the sun. The light began to get stronger. The necklace itself began to shine like a heated metal.

“Freya,” Lancelot shouted, not tearing his eyes away. Freya cast her eyes down, hand going to the necklace.

“What’s happening?” he asked.

Freya’s face went white. She gulped and closed her eyes.

“Brísingamen. My bounding to the Goddess.” She sat straighter as if she was going to face the enemy. “She is coming for me.” 

“She is coming for why?” There was that unease in his stomach remembering how Freya had acted when he asked her about the price.

“Will didn’t break out on his own.” Freya smiled. “Will didn’t break out at all, I broke him out. I abused my power, I disturbed the balance, I did it. Will only took the advantage of it.”

“What are they going to do to you?” 

“I don’t know.” Freya breathed and her eyes closed. Her body fell on him.

“Freya? Freya?” Lancelot shook her, panic taking over him. She didn’t look like in pain, too much as if she was sleeping. 

Her body began to shine. Lancelot flinched back, seeing her radiating light -or the light from her necklace taking over her whole body-. He covered his eyes, and tried to reach out to her, to protect her-

But she was not there.

The light disappeared abruptly as Lancelot stared in shock at the green grass where Freya had fallen a few seconds ago. The screen showing Will started to blink, going black square by square and it too disappeared in a few seconds. It was almost as if everything _about_ Freya was disappearing too.

And he had been absolutely useless. 

Suddenly, all the perfectly hushing trees were getting on his nerves. 

Lancelot could only sit all alone in the never-ending field of Avalon, not knowing what was happening with Merlin and William and Arthur, not knowing _what the hell had happened to Freya._

The throne room’s door creaked.

Arthur stopped where he was, eyes on the door that had slowly opened as he was passing by. Perhaps it was just a coincidence. Yet… He reached out for the door and could feel his heart beating fast as he leaned against it. With a deep breath, he threw it open.

It was seemingly empty but Arthur took a few steps in, eyes going all over the room.

It was empty. There was no sight of his father. He should have kept looking yet… 

He couldn’t help as his eyes locked on the empty throne. Morgana came to his mind then, Morgana who had turned her back on all of them, become so lost that she’d use darkest arts to prevent her once friend from becoming Queen. All Morgana had done, all for that damned throne.

The door shut.

Arthur jerked back, and could only stare as the door locked with a loud click.

Perhaps he should have felt scared, but the only thing he could feel was a sadness ripping his heart apart. His father was there with him. He had finally found him, but he was not looking forward to it.

“I know it’s you, father.” The wind blew around him, a cold touch sent shivers down his spine, yet he couldn’t see him.

Of course, the throne.

Arthur turned his head.

His father was there, looking the same as the last time they talked, sitting on the throne. The look in his eyes was cold, colder than he had ever seen him.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, feeling the weight of his question.

“I did not spend my entire life building this kingdom to see my own son destroy it.” Destroying wasn’t the thing _he_ did.

“You tried to kill Guinevere and Merlin.”

“For your own good. For Camelot, they must be eliminated. You cannot trust anyone, let alone _them_.”

“No.” Arthur shook his head. “I watched you rule and I learned that if you don't trust anyone, you will always live in fear. Your hatred came from fear, not from strength. I won’t let you hurt them, or anyone. Guinevere is wise and strong, and I trust her more than anyone. Merlin has proven his loyalty again and again. I trust him with my life.”

“You do trust him with your life, do you not? And that, is your weakness. You trust others too much. You and you alone must rule Camelot. Only then you can be a worthy king.”

“No, that’s not true. I’d rather not to rule at all than to rule alone.”

“Your whole life, I tried to prepare you for the day you would become king.” Arthur pressed his lips together not to let tears, remembering the boy he was once that always sought his father’s approval. The raid he led came to his mind and William’s words about the druids. What his father had readied him to was to keep slaughtering them, always telling how they’d seek to destroy the kingdom. Yet all he had seen were peaceful people, only seeking to live. “Have you learned nothing?”

“I loved you,” Arthur blurted out. He didn’t know if he’d have the chance to say it once more judging by how the conversation was going. “And respected you. But I cannot rule the way you did. I have to rule the kingdom in my own way.”

“You must continue my legacy and my legacy is not those commoner knights, dirt must return back to dirt.”

“They are the best knights of the Five Kingdoms,” Arthur said voice firm. “They are my most noble and loyal knights. The code was wrong, I said before. Lancelot you so despised and turned away was the one who gave his life for me and Camelot.”

“So would and should any other knight. If you keep knighting more commoners, how could you know they won’t turn their back on you and stab you right through your heart on the battlefield? You cannot trust them. Nor that serving girl of yours, how can she know what it means to be a Queen? I will not watch as _a serving girl_ sits on Ygraine’s throne.” 

The mention of his mother knocked all the thoughts off his mind.

“Did-did you see my mother in the..?” Arthur trailed. 

“The Land of the Dead is a cruel and dark place.” He waved, shutting him. “What matters is this realm. Camelot must come before all else. Heed my words, they’ll all betray you in the end. Like that serving boy of yours," he spat lips curling upwards. “You are blinded by your trust. Even I was blinded by his deceivings, now I will eliminate him for the good of the kingdom. If you knew what Merlin was, you’d kill him before me.”

That was it.

That was the line.

Arthur tightened his grip on the Horn, readying himself.

“Merlin has magic.” 

Arthur raised the Horn to his lips. A flash of anger and shock flashed on his blue face. It clearly wasn’t the move his father expected. 

As he inhaled a deep breath, something flew to him. A strong pain shut through his wrist and Arthur screamed. The Horn flew off of his hand. He only had the time to dodge as another shield flew to his head. The ground beneath him became slippery and Arthur lost his balance, falling on the ground. 

His father had just done magic to hurt him.

Arthur tried _not_ to think about that as he tried to get up but he fell flat on his back. Damn it, that was his sword wrist. He could only hope it wasn’t broken. 

His father came closer, towered over him and he no longer had the strength to get up. 

“You’d protect a sorcerer rather than trusting your own father?”

“I don’t and won’t believe you. Merlin is not a sorcerer, I would know.” 

“You know nothing,” he spat. “And you trust _him_ rather than _me._ The only thing you did right was calling for me from the Land of the Dead. All I did for nothing, all I did to be ruined by you… Trusting sorcerers, raising a servant to the throne, knighting commoners…” His father shook his head in disappointment.

“You just used magic on me,” he said and realized he very much was thinking about it although he tried not to. “You despise magic so much yet you just used magic to hurt—” 

“And _you_ used magic to bring me.” He gave a cruel smile. “Like father, like son. Though I cannot believe you are my son looking how you turned out to be.” Arthur gave a choked breath hearing his words.

“What are you going to do then?” He challenged incredulously. “Kill me?”

His father stopped for a second, then, sadness spread through his face. “All must come before Camelot, even you.” 

The horror dawned on him as he walked closer. He was going to die by his father’s hand. 

His father was really going to kill him.

The doors threw open from its hinges. 

Arthur’s head snapped to the intruder, to Merlin, standing in the entrance breathless and holding his side but looking straight at his father’s eyes.

That _idiot—_

“Get away from him Uther.” Ice dripped from his voice as he spoke.

“Merlin, Merlin no!” He suddenly found a strength he didn’t know he had. 

Merlin, that _idiot_ was trying so damn hard to get himself killed but not if Arthur had breath in him. Pain forgotten, he half got up. Suddenly his father stretched his hand on him and he was stuck to the ground.

Arthur tried to scramble away from the power that held him down. He could only half turn his head to Merlin.

“I’ll burn you as I should have, _sorcerer."_

All the colour drained from Merlin’s face.

“Let him go.” He looked at his father but there was no mercy in those eyes. “Merlin, run!” 

But Merlin, the idiot he was, didn’t run. Instead, he straightened his shoulders and walked to his father with a matching cold look on his face, mind made up.

“Merlin don’t be stupid, run!” He shouted helplessly. 

Of all the times Merlin did something stupid, this was breaking a record even for Merlin.

“You have done enough harm, Uther.”

“I will not allow you and your kind to poison my kingdom!” 

“You are wrong. About so much.” Arthur couldn’t tear his eyes from Merlin, couldn’t tear as he raised his chin, couldn’t tear as his firm voice echoed in his head. “Arthur is a better and a more worthy king than you ever were.”

“Merlin,” he managed not knowing whether to be amazed or horrified by Merlin’s courage to say those things against Uther. He knew Merlin saw something in him he couldn’t see, believed in him when he didn’t, but this… “I know you are stupid but _now is the worst_ —” 

Merlin looked in his eyes, a sadness he hadn’t ever seen in him.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry.” 

Arthur couldn’t help his frown, _what on Earth was that idiot sorry for?_

“It will give me great pleasure to kill you.” His father snarled, looking at Merlin with a murderous glare. Merlin took a few steps back, but rather than doing the reasonable thing by running his ass off _,_ he strengthened his position, looking like a warrior about to go into battle.

“Merlin, MERLIN!” 

Suddenly, as his father marched to Merlin and forgot about his hand keeping him on the ground, a weight lift off him. Arthur scrambled up, running to protect—

But it was all too late.

Merlin raised his hand, a guttural language he had never heard from him poured from his lips as it was his mother tongue. His father screamed and he barely saw him disappearing.

Arthur couldn’t see anything else than the unmistakable gold shining in Merlin’s eyes. 

Arthur knew he had magic. 

He had to reveal to stop Uther. There was no other choice.

Now to think about it, as his mind began to wander all the ‘what-if’s, Merlin knew it didn’t need to be like this if he wanted to. He could have knocked out Arthur, making it seem as if Uther had, perhaps he should have—

With a selfish desire, with a not very well thought impulse, he had taken a path. And Will was right, there was fear in his chest, but a hope, a childish hope of how good everything could be was blossoming. A hope, despite knowing it’d all crumble down as soon as he turned to Arthur, was flowing in his veins. 

Merlin slowly turned to Arthur.

“N-no.” 

And his heart broke into a thousand pieces, hearing the agony in Arthur’s voice. 

“No,n-” Arthur shook his head, looking at him wide-eyed. Merlin was watching his every feature with the fear of seeing that one muscle move, the same mouth shape appear just as when he had learnt about other shaking truths. He was not one of them, he’d _die_ before he was one of them, but he knew Arthur. How he acted on impulse, how he went with his head, quick decisions taken. It would be a betrayal for him no matter what. 

Merlin could feel tears were slowly swelling in his eyes. 

“No.” Arthur nodded to himself as he spoke. “This-this a trick to… I know you. You wouldn’t betray me, I won’t make the same mistake. This is a cruel trick but I won’t fall this time.”

He might as well ripped his heart apart.

“Arthur…” Merlin began but words knotted in his throat seeing his strong denial. He was not expecting to have to spell it out if Arthur saw him in action. In fact… He could back up any moment, he could play along with whatever Arthur believed, he could keep playing. What he did, what he was, was punished by death. He’d have no choice but to execute him. He perhaps would take the “merciful” path, banishment. But he knew Arthur, had been there with him when he went through the betrayals of Gwen and Lancelot and Morgana and Agravaine. Whatever his choice would be, Arthur would crumble down. The impulse to protect Arthur from the emotional hurt was so _strong—_

“I have magic,” Merlin blurted out.

Arthur kept shaking his head. “No. We are going to fix whatever they did to you.” 

“I’m a sorcerer. I always have been. I was born with it.”

“See?” Arthur said voice stronger. “No one is born with magic. It is a dark art people choose to learn. I don’t know if this is a trick of my father or of Morgana, but it is very sloppy.”

Merlin slowly twisted his head to Arthur’s words. Of course, that was what he would think, what he was taught. But well, this was _not_ how he had thought it would go. Any time else it could have been a funny thought how Merlin tried to prove himself to be a sorcerer by words and actions as Arthur shut his eyes and covered his ears in denial.

Now, it was breaking his heart beyond repair seeing how much Arthur didn’t want it to be true.

“Do you remember,” Merlin began with hesitance, trying to think of one of the many instances where Arthur had stared into very obvious magic but seen as much as Sir Olwin. Not a bad use of it, he had plenty of room for that if he managed to survive this, “there was this sickness that spread through water, caused by sorcery, close to when I came to Camelot?”

Arthur frowned, trying to recall the event. Merlin watched as his features froze, a horror he quite had never seen before dawning on his face.

_That_ was when he realized his stupid choice of words.

“That was not me!” Merlin shouted frantically as Arthur took a step back like a scared deer, looking as if he had seen him for the first time in his life. “Of course that was not me! I am talking about Gwen’s father! Don’t you remember how I burst into the meeting, telling I was the sorcerer who healed him? I told the truth back then. I did confess. I was the one who healed him but… Thanks to my _stupidity,_ I forgot to retrieve the poultice. When Gwen was sentenced to death, I couldn’t let her die because of something I did.”

He stared at Merlin holding his breath for a few seconds. Then his mouth opened in shock, Merlin could bet he was remembering other unexplained things, seeing everything under a new light. 

His head began to do small shakes, mouth opening more with each shake, brows frowning. 

“I…” He shut his eyes with a grimace. “How could I have been so _stupid_?!”

“Yeah,” Merlin’s lips curled upwards. “There is no way _Mer_ lin is a sorcerer.” 

“All this time…” Arthur murmured. His little smile faltered watching Arthur’s eyes squeeze tightly as if he was in pain.

“That’s what I all did,” Merlin continued now more unsure. “All I did was to protect you. And Camelot. And my friends. Magic is not all dark art. Sometimes… It’s not even a choice.” He breathed heavily. 

“But _how_ it is used is a choice. Magic can be a force for good.” Merlin nodded to himself, tears in his eyes. “That’s all I tried to be.”

Arthur’s head made a small shake as he fisted his hands. Merlin wasn’t sure if he was listening to him or not. 

Silence fell. 

His heartbeat seemed to be echoing in the silence of the throne room.

“Not…” Arthur said, barely audible with the most pitiful voice he had ever heard from him, “Not you too.” 

The soft ‘Not you too’ had gone straight through his heart.

“I use it for you, Arthur,” Merlin said, desperation rising in him. “Only for you.”

Arthur’s shoulders began to tremble, his muscles twitching. 

“…Arthur?”

Arthur opened his eyes and Merlin saw a murderous glare he had never seen before, eyes almost glowing like a wild animal.

“You lied to me.” His voice was shaking with anger. “You betrayed me.”

“I _had_ to lie, but I never once betrayed you.” There was no reply, only cold eyes staring into him as if he was the enemy. There was no understanding, no emotion, no recognition. It wasn’t a friend’s face.

Arthur was going to kill him.

Merlin reflexively took a few steps backwards. Something flashed on his face as Merlin backed up. 

Then Arthur’s every little movement froze, eyes fluttered. 

His body fell down like a puppet cut its strings. 

“I guess he learnt and it went bad.”

Merlin turned to his back with a jerk. Will was behind him, hand stretched. Merlin stared at Arthur’s fallen body with a shaky breath, still seeing his vivid eyes. 

“ _Bad_? he hates me,” Merlin choked out, voice going high pitcher, “ _he is going to kill me_.”

His hands were shaking, tears started rolling down his cheeks, Arthur’s murderous glare wasn’t leaving before his eyes. He knew Arthur would not have reacted well, he knew this, but until he saw he hadn’t realized deep down, he had always hoped differently.

“Yeah, let’s see him get past me,” Will said, coming over Arthur’s fallen body. Merlin closed his eyes. It was all crumbling on him, everything was falling and he was crushing under all of it. 

There was no way Arthur would forgive him nor he would accept magic, ever.

“It’s over,” Merlin managed faintly.

“No, we are going to figure this out.”

“You don’t know him, he doesn’t see anything when he is angry and hurt. And this is about _magic._ He is not going to listen to me. You didn’t see his face. I will be lucky if I can open my mouth before he runs me through This…” His shoulders fell. “This is the end. It’s over. All is lost. There is no hope anymore. Morgana won’t be stopped. Mordred will kill—”

“Merlin, stop it!” Will shouted, making him snap out of it. “You are in danger. He will eventually wake up and the knights will come.”

Oh. 

The knights wouldn’t even blink as they threw him in the dungeons. 

“I always said he’d chop my head off.” He tried to smile.

“Not happening,” Will said firmly, raising his chin.

Merlin shook his head. “He will never see me something other than a traitor.”

“We can overthrow him.” Will shrugged. “Gwen is a wonderful person and an amazing queen. She was very nice towards Mordred. Knights follow her. She can easily make a coup.” If any other time, he would have laughed at Will's ‘solution’.

“We are _not_ overthrowing Arthur.” Merlin deadpanned.

“I am keeping our options open.”

“Out of question.”

“What are you going to do then, polish the axe to make it easier for him to chop your head off?” Will said harsher, “Is he still worth so much after how he reacted?”

“It could have been worse.”

“ _Worse_?” Will cried, “You were shaking, saying ‘He is going to kill me’ when I came! He is not worth the pain you—”

“He is and he has to be!” Merlin shouted, shutting him. “You… You don’t know him. You don’t know how many times he has been betrayed. You don’t know how he was raised by Uther. He thinks his parents died because of sorcery, he has seen countless sorcerers harming Camelot. He couldn’t be any better.” 

Will pressed his lips, swallowed down whatever he was about to say ducking his head in defeat.

“Then what are you going to do about—?” he waved his hand around and then pointed at Arthur’s unconscious body.

Merlin shut his eyes.

It came to that, didn’t it? What was he going to do? What had he to change Arthur’s mind? What had he, what could he say? What justification had he? With a shudder, he remembered watching the slow building of the pyre for him -for Dragoon- from the cell he was thrown in.

Would he even time before he was hanged?

“Will,” Merlin whispered, “what will I do? How will I—”

“I can do to him what I did to you,” Will said. Merlin looked at him not understanding. “I could show him things that would change his mind enough to make him listen to you. I’m simply going to beat some sense into him.”

“He won’t believe you.”

“I can handle one Arthur Pendragon.”

“No.” Merlin shook his head. “We can’t do magic on him. Not… He won’t see it good.”

Will gave a small nod.

“Alright.”

Silence fell again. He cast his eyes down, on Arthur’s seemingly peaceful face.

“…You think that’s the only way?” Merlin said with unease. Though he trusted Will, it was making him uneasy that someone else would have to handle the fall of his reveal. 

“It’s your choice,” Will said, voice firm, “your life, your destiny. I’ll follow what _you_ decide.”

“I don’t know what to—”

The door opened. 

Merlin jerked back, slightly shaking. Now was the worst possible time to— The knight’s red cape swooshed as he entered the room. A familiar figure was standing before him, someone who had never raised so much fear in him before, yet Merlin couldn’t bring himself to look away.

The knight’s confused eyes snapped between him and Arthur’s fallen body.

“Merlin?”

“Leon,” Merlin managed faintly. 

Of _all_ the people that could, it just had to be Leon, hadn’t it? Not that other knights would be any more merciful if Arthur ordered to, but Leon… He was the one who served under Uther, seen arguably the worst of magic. Merlin knew how serious he took his job, and as not many know, he was quite quick-tempered. 

At-at least it was someone he knew, someone he was rather close with.

…Which Merlin didn’t know if it was worse or better. 

“What’s going on here?” Merlin gulped, taking a step back closer to Arthur. He could feel Will’s eyes on him, ready to jump in. 

Merlin opened his mouth and then closed it. What explanation had he to give? Arthur was going to wake up, Leon was _already_ there ready to arrest or run him through—

“Are you possessed?” Leon asked with a small smile. “I am your friend, do you remember me?” 

_Possessed_ , Merlin frowned but he snapped out of his thoughts as Leon took fast steps towards him. Merlin scattered back and raised his hand.

Leon froze.

Perhaps if it had been different, he could have- Things were spiralling out of his control so fast.

“Do it,” Merlin said, not taking his eyes off Leon.

“What are you talking about, Merlin?” Leon asked with a frown but that was not who he was talking about. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Will laying down next to Arthur, wrapping a hand around his wrist.

It was all on Will now. That was his only chance. 

Merlin tried to focus on Leon. Leon was looking at him calculatingly, a way to perhaps knock him out and get to Arthur. He hated how there was fear in him when he was looking at a friend’s face. 

“You thought you could evade me, sorcerer?” Merlin’s head snapped. His left hand automatically went up to Uther at his left. He could only stare, hands half shaking. 

“You are cornered now,” Uther hissed, lips curling with a devilish smile and eyes going to Leon’s side. Merlin’s head snapped to Leon. He was about to cry, seeing Leon had taken a few steps to him, taking advantage of his distraction. 

He wasn’t going to survive this, would he?

Uther snarled and he couldn’t help but notice how Leon’s hand was going slightly beneath his cape. His hands began to shake worse, head snapping between Leon and Uther rapidly.

“Do it,” he cried, “do it, please!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, the magic reveal was believable by how much I made Arthur a reck, hitting him again and again.
> 
> I finally managed to write most of the parts that were inspired by A Christmas Carol (chains + past, present, future). I literally don’t know when the last chapter will come but I do have it planned it out. I can only hope to succeed to write a satisfying end.
> 
> As promised:
> 
> “A smile creeped on his face remembering Sir William of Deira he came up with…”  
> It is just a sentence but was too good not to use. I honestly would not have written it if not for this post:  
> Where Will starts making woodwork after his father’s death inspired by this post: (I thought it was a good way to show how Will handles stuff)


End file.
